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Marceline
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Location: Ohio, US
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12-12-2014, 05:03 PM

New puppy wont stop stealing toys!

My fiance and I got a new puppy last month (I have posted about her jumping habits once before) and she is absolutely wonderful. She is a ball of energy which is to be expected, and we did get her jumping problem down...a bit. Our problem now is that our older dog, Arya (who is four), loves to carry around small plush toys, we call them her babies, and Nymeria (11 months) likes to steal them from her. It doesn't matter what toy Arya has and what toy we offer Nymeria, she always wants the one in Arya's mouth. As soon as she gets the toy and Arya shows no sign of wanting to play, Nymeria drops it. However, as soon as Nymeria drops it, Arya picks it back up and Nymeria goes to steal it again. It is a vicious cycle. We have trained Nymeria to drop the toys with the "drop it" command and she does drop it, but then goes right back for it as soon as Arya has it. The same goes with "leave it". We command, "leave it" and she ignores it for all of two seconds (long enough to "leave it" and look at us) and then goes immediately back to trying to steal it. We don't know what to do and are officially at our wits end. Arya needs "her babies" as she has serious anxiety issues and they calm her down. Any suggestions?
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Jakesmummy
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12-12-2014, 08:22 PM
If your older dog really wants the toy trust me she will put the puppy in its place ,we had the same .
And the pup get attention from you even if it's telling her to drop then she's getting attention, so id watch them but let them sort it out .but don't make anything of it just carry on with what ever your doing like u didn't notice
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Lindsay&River
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12-12-2014, 09:30 PM
Does Arya seem to mind when the younger dog steals her toys? Maybe it's some sort of game they've worked out. Is it annoying to Arya too or just annoying to you? I was also thinking they could just work it out unless Arya seems stressed out by it.
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tumbleweed
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13-12-2014, 01:12 AM
Jakesmummy hit the nail on the head. let them work it out for themselves
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Strangechilde
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13-12-2014, 03:28 AM
If they can work it out for themselves, that would be ideal. Let them get on with it, but watch out for Arya. If she won't go to get her toys back and seems depressed about it, you might have to step in. You don't have to be mean! Just take the toy from Nymeria, tell her that it is Arya's, and hand it to Arya, with Nymeria watching. That says to her that the toy is yours and you have given it to Arya. You can go ahead and play with Nymeria and reward her for good behaviour, so long as she doesn't torment Arya over toys.

Even with the best behaved dogs, you'll run into situations where they challenge each other over silly whatnots. With most it won't ever escalate into aggression or violence. You do still need to look out for straightforward bullying, though. Dogs may be sweet and innocent and all, but this phenomenon is far from alien to them. You may need to put your foot down, as I have, with my eldest, who is old and arthritic and has heart disease and is not to be toyed with. He is MINE, and I will not tolerate any bullying of him. The other two know it, and they listen when I tell them to leave off. It has never, ever been violent with them-- just sometimes Taji wants to back Berkeley into a corner, or Habibi wants to take his DentaStick, or whatever. I just issue a looming NO, no compromise attached, and this is enough.

Remember, you don't have to mete out harsh punishments or anything to be in control here. You're the one with the thumbs. Everyone relies on you. It is perfectly fine to protect Arya when Nymeria is being ridiculous and perfectly fine to reward Nymeria for leaving Arya alone. Make it plain what you won't tolerate, and reward what is nice and good-- there'll always be hiccups, though!
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mjfromga
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13-12-2014, 06:03 AM
I thought our older dog would put my puppy in his place. He always wanted to play with her, she is old so she didn't want to. When she refused, he'd bark in her face mega loud. She'd turn away, and he'd follow and keep doing it. She'd retreat and he'd chase her and do it. She'd also growl, which he thought was play and he'd run around her and make her nervous.

She was too meek to know what to do and it got worse. As puppy grew, things worsened. She got more nervous and he got bolder. He began to trample her and steal from her. She grew very scared of him, and my mistake of thinking she'd put him in his place instead of helping her ruined their relationship forever.

I began to intervene when they had ugly spats with puffed chests and stare downs. Puppy quickly outgrew oldie and she began to snarl each time he was near in fear. He ignored this and her fear turned to terror, he arrived, she'd flee.

After helping this by treating them together etc it got a ton better, but soon puppy was over 80 lbs to oldies mere 54 lbs and the fear kicked back in. He'd be nice to her mostly, but would get a tad wild sometimes. Him barking his giant bark at strangers terrified her. Him running around terrified her,and now unfortunately... the avoidance is back and will probably stay for good.

Had I stepped in early to show her I had her back and that he was not scary, I know it would not be like this. Moral of story, do not count on timid dogs to stand up to puppies, for they won't always and it can cause damage that is very hard to fix.
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Marceline
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13-12-2014, 02:29 PM
The problem is, is that it does bother her. She raises her hackles and bares her teeth, she has even nipped at Nymeria, but to no avail. She has a circle maneuver where she will turn in tiny circles to keep her face away from Nymeria to keep her from getting the toy. Sometimes she will even run to her kennel to try to hide, but without us locking her in, Nymeria follows and then Arya is trapped in there.
This has led to a lot of aggressive behavior from Arya. There are two other dogs in the house and because they are smaller than our girls Arya has become a bully to them (pack dynamics).
It also isn't about attention. As I was typing this Nymeria hopped up onto my lap with a toy and I was petting her while typing. She heard a squeak from a toy that Arya had behind her and she dropped her toy, hopped off my lap and immediately began to harass Arya.
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mjfromga
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13-12-2014, 09:17 PM
Your case sounds a lot like mine, unfortunately. You need to step in and stop puppy before this gets worse. Timid girls like my Jade will always lose to a bold, overconfident puppy. When the puppies ignore the warnings, older dog needs help. If this keeps up, your dogs might end up like mine, with the female actively avoiding my male, or worse, older dog snaps and puppy gets really hurt. No hitting or dragging, just firm commands and time outs for puppy.
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Marceline
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14-12-2014, 02:32 AM
I never hit. Only ever commands and positive reinforcement when they listen and obey. The problem is that the puppy is much larger than the older dog. Both are pit mixes, just the puppy is mixed with great dane. Thank you all for the advice!
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mjfromga
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14-12-2014, 03:55 AM
Good, patience and positive reinforcement is the way to go here. My puppy is way bigger than the older dog too. Mixed with great Pyrenees. Younger dogs who are larger than older dogs can realize this and take advantage. Your situation sounded just like mine, was a great learning experience because I thought for sure Jade would eventually put him in his place. But it doesn't always happen and if let go on too much can destroy thier relationship.
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