At Home Mums..your experiences please..

Hello guys!

Me and OH have discussed starting a family as soon as were are married in August, now i know it can take a while etc... but having just gone self employed i want to assess all my options when it comes to working etc well ahead of time...

If you are a mum that worked full time ( IE had yor own cash) and then became full time mum relying on your OH's cash)

Did you enjoy it?

Did you feel beholden to them?

Did your now lack of cash cause arguments?

What was the situation if you wanted to buy a new pair of shoes or some clothes?

Im just a bit worried i suppose... i have always been very independant with my own money...

I know when it becomes a toddler i can work a few days a week etc to add to the coffers but just at the beginning i wouldnt be able to really....


any advice/experiences????

thanks guys...

i worked full time til i had my son but i dont have a joint account with my OH so we dont really argue about money he pays the mortgage etc and i get child tax credits which is used to buy food and clothes etc he only moans when the kids get to many toys (hes only jealous as he wants a wii) im planning on setting up my own buisness to work from home so i can have some spare cash plus i want i bigger house so id like to contribute to the mortgage

I was in full time before the kids came along with a very well paid job, I had every intention of going back part time as I loved my job.

However near the time my Dad sadly passed away about 2 weeks before I was due to go back. My mum and dad were going to have the baby so that sort of left things a bit awkward, obviously we were all still grieving

So we consolodated all our out goings and worked out we could survive on OH income.

I am glad it worked out that way (obviously excpet for losing my Dad) I have loved staying at home. However it is hard work and I find it more stressful at times than my job and I was in a high position.

The money was and still can be tight we dont really argue much. I just panic lots but it always works out.

We plan things, OH is now self employed and our situation is good.

I do feel however that if I want something I feel I should ask but OH always says that I work hard enough looking after the kids as he always states he could never do it.
I miss my job but I love this one best decision ever made

If you can manage on one wage do it IMO

Mel x

hi alex

hope this helps, i dont think anything can really prepare you with 24/7 baby but i do firmly beleive its the best thing you can do for your child.

We did/do argue about money but overall i think we are both glad that we are a bit skint but have a lovely baby !!

dani

i love being a full time and loved every min....we were quite hard up back then and i worked 2 evening in a chippe to bring in a few pennies..............we didn;t argue over money we didn;t really have any but i wouldn't have changed it for the highest paid job in the world

I worked for the first few years after we moved in together, had quite a good job, with excellent pay then we got married, was pregnant within the first year of marriage, gave up and haven't gone back since. I was earning a good wage when I was at work and did miss it to start and did feel a bit guilty about spending his hard earned money.....but that didn't last long

My OH earns a good wage, and he's happy for me to buy what I want when I want, we don't argue over money, as long as the bills are paid each month and there's a bit left over each month then we plod along nicely.

Been doing it for 19 years and we're still married, so no major problems with it here.

I love being a full time mum and wouldn't dream of leaving my kids with other people while I worked, especially knowing we can survive on one wage. I know many people do have to work, but thankfully we're not in that position. We don't class it as 'his' wages, it's 'our' wages.

i had 4 kids under 5 i went from full time working to full time mum had a few part time eve jobs to help but oh went self employed and was working diff hours so couldnt do part time we dont argue over money as im in charge of it! now the kids are older i thought i could get another prt time job but eldest and youngest have adhd so i need to be on call to pick up from schooll if the school cant handle them!! i did ask them a while back and they said they found it comforting when they come home from school and im there or to pick up from school. it was hard in the begining but if i had to do all over agin i would still be a stay at home mum.

thanks for the replies guys!

the money situation would mean that there was almost noe spare at the end of the month unless i too a self employedd wage either with the shop or his pet food delivery thing!

Alexandra i was working as aprimary teacher and had studied for four year to be able to do so. we decided however that i would take five years off in which time we would have the kids and they would be big enough to be with someone else.

Plans are made to be broken.......12 years later I am still a homemaker.I have worked as a supply teacher but it always takes second place to the needs of the family and that included not working for a term as I was on puppy sabbatical!!

It is the hardest job I have ever done and it does not get easier. The challenges change as the kids get older. It is also the MOST rewarding thing i have ever had to do as well. You can lose your identity a bit as you become mum and wife/partner but it does re-emerge as the children grow.

If i can be remembered for anything when i die if it is for being a good mum I will be content. I would not have missed it for the world.....

I know different people are in different situations but for me it was the right decision. the financial side has reared it`s head a few times although we have always had enough money. I used to feel guilty about spending on me but i have got over that one now. I work at home, he works at work......simple as that.

I hope this helps you to make the decision that is right for you.

Rxxx

you always find a way to get extra i have done avon didn;t bring in much

saturday job at Sainbury's and sundays in a cafe' a few hours you just make it work i can;t explain it just does xxx