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goblygouck
Dogsey Junior
goblygouck is offline  
Location: Australia
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 178
Female 
 
21-08-2007, 12:36 PM

How to shower

I just got sent this and I thought some people might find this funny

How To Shower

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Complain because your husband had been eating your gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.

11. Rinse conditioner off hair.

12. Shave armpits and legs.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower onto a floor towel. Dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

16. Hang floor towel on side of tub.

17. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.

18. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

19. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

14. Pee.

15. Rinse off and get out of shower. (What's a floor towel?)

16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

18. Leave shower curtain open, water on floor, light and fan on.

19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

20. Throw wet towel on bed.
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kirstya72
Dogsey Senior
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Location: Scotland,UK
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 744
Female 
 
21-08-2007, 01:31 PM
I'm sitting here laughing so hard I'm almost crying
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nero
Dogsey Veteran
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Location: central scotland
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,637
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21-08-2007, 02:04 PM
Love it, love it, been there, seen it, done it.
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Kristina
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Location: Deal, Kent
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,408
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21-08-2007, 02:05 PM
Heheheeeeeeeee very funny and so so true!!!
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metz
Dogsey Senior
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Location: dumfries
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 585
Female 
 
28-08-2007, 07:51 AM
yes i certainly made me laugh sounds like us woman, men well no comment......
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zoeybeau1
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Location: N.I
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 6,832
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29-08-2007, 12:51 AM
very good xx
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Mahooli
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Location: Poodle Heaven!
Joined: Dec 2006
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29-08-2007, 06:58 AM
Brilliant!
Becky
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Colin
Dogsey Veteran
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Location: East Sussex
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,206
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29-08-2007, 07:08 AM
Spot on, and as nero said above "Been there, Done that"!
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