How to comfort a child..

My brother and his wife through 14 years are splitting up.

Dont love eachother anymore. Right now I have my niece (their child) on messenger telling how bad she feels

Dont know how to make her feel better, except, as I allready did; tell her I love her and that I´ll always be here for her...

Think its so sad

Have any of you any advice?

tell her its not her fault and its whats best for them and you are sure they both still love her and when they are apart and happy she will have nice times with both of them which is better than them being together and miserable

The only thing you can do amts is be there for her. Make her understand that it isn't her fault that her parents are breaking up, and that they both still love her as much now, as they did when they were together.

I´ve told her that the both love her, but the problem is my brothers wife wont let him go... So I think its going to be a "fight" when he moves.

Think its so sad the kids allways gets caught in something like this!

I'd tell her that her that just because mum and dad have fallen out of love it doesn't mean that they will love her any less and that she is at no fault at all, mums and dads do occasionally fall out of love, it happens and there isn't anything that could have been done to help that.

Your neice is such a lucky little girl to have an auntie that she feels she can confide in, it's great that she can talk to you and not bottle up her feelings, I just feel so sorry for her that your brother and his wife have chosen to tell her now at christmas time, although I wonder if there is ever a right time to break such sad news sending (((hugs))) for all the family.

Thank you all for your replies.

I must say I feel a bit guilty. I told my brother to do it now course there will never be a right time. Either its christmas time, somebody´s birthday or something else.

They have agreed to spend christmas together with all the family and I hope that that will ease some of the pain my niece is feeling.

Just wish I could take some of it away

But I dont have kids of my own (yet) so I thought some of you might have some advice or even tried it yourself..

Thank you all.

the most important thing is that she doesnt feel its her fault as sometimes children can do. She also needs to feel loved from mum and dad and they must talk to her about it and explain their reasons for the split. So many kids get a complex and feel it must be something they did or said.
Parents can also get too involved with how they are feeling about the split (especially if its not a friendly split) and they can often not talk enough to the child as the child *appears* to be coping ok which so often is NOT the case.
I found my kids coped much better when me and OH stopped playing silly buggers and sniping at each other etc and concentrated on the kids and how they felt and asked how they were etc.
But its good to have an aunty or other relative that they can speak to in confidence- like you

Kids are much happier when their mum and dad are both happy- together or apart

That's very true Lel.

As long as your nieces parents are honest and open with her, then she'll get through it. It's awful having to watch children hurting like this, and you'd give anything to take thier pain away.

((((hugs)))) to you both.

Thanks again.

I think she´ll find out, once the separations gone through, that she´ll have two happy parents seperatly and that she can talk to me anytime. But its hard to tell her and be sure it makes sense to her right now.

I´d also told her it wasn´t her fault which she seemed to understand.

Now I´m gonna invite her out to spend a weekend where its easier to talk about things face to face.

Thanks for all your replies and thanks for the hug Wolfie