Insurance claim explanation.

Dear sirs

I am writing in response to your rejection of my $57,000.00 claim for medical bills. Notice in original report, block 17, I gave 'Trying to do the job alone' as the cause of the accident. Your letter asked for a more thorough explanation, so here it is.

As a brick layer I was doing a job on the 6th floor of an unfinished office building. At 4:30 the electricians, carpenters, and lift operator went home. I was almost done so I stayed another 15 minutes to finish up.

When I finished I noticed I had about 500 bricks left over. At 50 lbs a load this meant 10 six story round trips. Thinking there must be a better way to get the bricks down, I looked around a saw a 2x4 'A' frame on the edge of the building with a rope, pulley and a barrel that the carpenters used for bringing up their hand tools. I looked over the edge and noticed that some idiot had not secured the rope at ground level.

I went to the ground level and secured the rope with a slip loop hitch. I then returned to the 6th floor, pushed the barrel over the edge of the building and carefully loaded the bricks into it.

Then I went to the ground level, and to assure a slow descent of the bricks, I hooked my arm and one leg around the rope and pulled the slip loop.
Please notice in block 9 of the report that I weigh 155 lbs. I was yanked off the ground so swiftly that I didn't have the presence of mind to let go of the rope until it was too late.

At exactly the middle of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel. It was coming down. That explains the fractures in the skull and left collar bone. Fortunately, I kept my head and hung tightly to the rope. When I got to the 6th floor, four fingers of my right hand went through the pulley. This explains the 7 finger fractures and lacerations. Again, however, I kept my head and held tightly onto the rope. At approximately the same time, an unfortunate thing happened--the bottom came out of the barrel. The barrel now weighed only 19 lbs. and I still weighed 155. As you might have guessed, I now began a rapid descent.

Once again, in the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel. This time it was coming up. This explains the 2 broken ankles and the laceration starting at the right ankle and ending at the ear.

Fortunately, the encounter with the barrel at the 3rd floor slowed my descent enough that it reduced the impact of landing on the bricks on the ground, Only 3 vertabrae were crushed.

I am sorry to report that as I lay there in pain, I lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. The barrel weighing considerably more than the rope came whistling down. Luckily I heard it and leaned back so it only broke both legs at the shins.

Now that I have given a complete explanation, please send the cheque.

I remain,

Yours in pain [and in hospital]...