Desperate - need help

Hi everyone

I am new to this forum and am hoping some advice may help with out new dog.

About a month ago we adopted a 8 month old min pin. He is a beautiful little guy but was never socialised.

When we first got him he was terrified of people. Within the first day he had bonded to me and I now have him to a point where when I sit on the couch he will jump up and snuggle. When we first got him I just picked him up all the time whether he wanted to be picked up or not and after the 3rd day I would get home from work, open to door and he would bound in excited to see me.

The problem is he is terrified of my husband. Whenever he arrives home, enters a room, talks, reaches for the remote etc the dog freaks out, runs and hides and wees uncontrollably. My poor husband is scared to cough in the house as it freaks the dog.

We have tried so many things to try and show him my husband won't hurt him and nothing seems to work. We have gone through what seems like bucket loads of treats every time my husband gets home to try and show him that my husband won't hurt him. We had a behaviouralist in who gave us more suggestions and none of these have worked either.

We are at our wits end and I am at the point of telling my husband to just pick the dog up, let him freak out and wait for him to calm down and put him back in his bed, I am just worried that the stress will be too much for the little guy. This is what I did when we first got him and it seemed to work well and I am his best friend now. As I mentioned earlier he is excited when I get home and jumps on the couch to snuggle with me without any encouragement.

He doesn't mind other people and will warily approach them, it is just my husband he is terrified of.

Any advice would be appreciated as we are desperate.

Have you tried getting your husband to be the one to feed him , give him all the treats etc .

Is he afraid of men in general or just your husband?

Would you say your husband has anything about him which is particularly "scarey" ie is he very tall, very large, has an exceptionally deep voice for instance?

Has the dog had a recent vet check at all?

Do you know much of his history ie was he well socialised as a puppy and adolescent?

Just a few questions to start you off

ETA Oops posted same time as Fernsmum

Wys
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Hi Fernsmum

Yep, he is the one who puts the food in his bowl and makes sure the dog sees him putting it down for him. He has even tried throwing treats (freshly cooked steak at this stage) from a distance and the little guy won't eat it if he is within sight.

Hi Wysiwyg

He is fine, a little hesitant, but fine with other men and women. He will go up and have a sniff of other peoples hands, male or female.

My husband is a large man with a deep voice. He has tied crouching down and using a high 'feminine' type voice to talk to the dog (which I giggle to myself when he does).

All I know is that he wasn't socialised much.

He was at the vet last week to get desexed and I raised concerns with the vet and he had a full check, all was fine.

We have been trying so hard for the last 4 weeks and nothing seems to improve. It is so disheartening.

Being a young dog is he interested in games eg fetch the ball etc . maybe you could get your husband to do that sort of thing ?
Also maybe you need to back off a bit and not let him snuggle up with you on the couch so much ?

Hi CupCake,

Your Min Pin lad sounds sooooo sweet! I love Min Pins!

I rescued a Yorkie boy 18 years ago (he was 9 years old and very set in his ways). Like your lad, he took to me straight away but he hated my Husband. He isn't particularly large or scary He's a very gentle, kind man and so we couldn't work it out. He used to bite my Husbands shoes if he came near to me. He was obviously jealous. He didn't really show signs of fear of my OH but perhaps his fear was expressed by his aggression Just wanted to let you know that if you stick with it, your Min Pin will adapt to your OH, I am sure. I know my Yorkie boy did. Looking back, I think he really started to bond with him when he used to pop home at lunchtimes and take Joey for a walk up the forest. He soon learned that my OH was good for him. He was a gorgeous dog, but it did take months rather than weeks to get him to the wonderful little boy that he was! Just to add, we went on to have kids a couple of years or so after adopting Joey and he was the best dog ever with the kids.

As for getting him to the stage where he trusts your OH enough to go out with out for a walk with him, I don't know how best that is done. Hopefully one of the behaviour experts on here can help you to get him to that stage Best of luck with him

I

He does love playing with his toys and my husband has tried that tactic as well with no luck. He ends up sitting in the middle of the room talking in a high happy voice wiggling toys around all by himself as the dog runs into the laundry and will not budge. My husband has tried to sit at the laundry door throwing treats but that just makes him run out the doggy door and hide.

The only time he snuggles with me is when my husband is not at home and in the last week I have made him sit in his bed more often as more of a training excercise, he now knows the command "in your bed" and "stay".

There has to be a point where the brain clicks in and he realises that my husband is not going to hurt him, but in a month we seem to be no closer to that point.

We have also tried taking him on walks. I leave first and my husband leaves a minute or two later. My husband walks at a distance and overtake us, he always has his eye on my husband though. If my husband walks a short distance in front he will get a little closer to him, but as soon as I reach out to try and sneakily pass the lead to him he freaks again.

When he 'freaks' out do you pick him up or try to comfort him?

I would try and ignore this behavior, dont pick him up or cuddle him, this can reinforce this behaviour.
I would keep getting your husband to feed him, get your husband to bring home different treats, balls toys and try to give him them every day....not to go up to the dog but sit down and try and get him to come to your husband.
If he does eat them or play with what your husband has given him make a huge fuss of him and tell him what a good boy he is.
Even when he plays or takes the treat your husband gave him when your husband is not actually there still make a big fuss of him.

Have you tried getting him calm and relax sitting near you then get your husband to quietly come in a sit near you both, not speaking or looking at the dog just sitting near you both, than gradually each time getting your husband to get a little bit closer to you both.
Then when he is comfortable around your husband trying to touch the dog and stroke him.
Then you could all go on walks together etc and very slowly the dog should start building a bond with your husband.

You also could seek professional help, if he is not responding or coming along with everything you have tried.
Hope this helps

Is it possible your husband has tried too hard? and kind of forced himself a little too much (sorry that's not come across very well - I mean has he just pushed your dog a teeny bit too far at any time?)

The reason i say this is because dogs do best when at their own pace - if for instance he's been "made" to be close to your husband, or even your husband has made him feel anxious or slightly fearful by his presence being a bit too close when trying to be friendly, it may have upset the dog who had a one off learning experience at the time. He is using the flight option when going into the laundry, which is one of the stress "options" - fight, flight, freeze or goof about

You may find it works a bit better if your husband avoids eye contact completely for some time and throws toys (eg balls) but not at the dog, aiming some feet away rather than close to so the dog feels unafraid and does not feel he has to run off

Food can work well but again preferably dropped without eye contact or words.

It must be upsetting for you and your husband who sounds a kindly man, who probablywants to enjoy having a dog with you.

Failing that I'd suggest a reputable behaviourist to actually go to your home and see what is happening, sometimes someone experienced can pick up on things the owner never thinks of or notices

Wys
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