Everything sounds wonderful for your Mum Helena.

I know from all the things you have told us about her she will be very pleased and proud of all you have done for her. I can understand the pain this is how I felt when I lost my Dad, and I don't know how long it will be but I will have to go through it again with Mum even though she exasperates me some days, she will leave a big hole too.

(((Hugs))) and big slobbery Ollie kisses. Xx

I've been off line so have only just seen this Helena. {{{Hugs}}} and sympathy to you but no regrets for your Mum. Like my Mum she's safe now with no more pain or worries.

Thanks Jeanette, yes all those "do you remembers" of which I had so many to remind her of (remember that fire extinguisher!!!), I put them all in there. Dave asked me what else I'm gonna put in there and I said, "well, you know me,I'll probably fill that coffin up to the brim by the time I've finished" xxxx

Thanks Jean, I know only too well how the pain still lingers on for you Jean, I hope it won't be like that for me, I really do.xxxx

Thanks Lynn, yes, you and me have been through the mill over the past 2 or 3 years haven't we Lynn, but through it all, we still loved them dearly, and you're right, I'm afraid that dear old mum of yours will leave just as big a hole as I've got here, but let's just hope she carries on driving you up the wall for a very long time yet! xxxxx

Thanks cava, that's what I keep telling myself, no more pain, and quite honestly, the way she was on Saturday morning after that op, I just couldn't stand to see her suffering like that any longer, she couldn't stand coz her feet hurt, her left arm was in plaster, and her right arm had twisted quite strangely, that's why I fed her the cake, she couldn't possibly have done it herself. She asked me to raise the foot of the chair so her legs could be up, I made her comfy with 2 more pillows off her bed, and she was in heaven already, she looked so very comfortable as she sighed "ahhh, that's better, thankyou darling" and so I kissed her goodbye and told her I would see her on Monday coz I needed the rest of the week-end off coz I'd been to the hospital every night that last week taking in those meals and Dave needed me at home on Sunday, but alas, it was not to be, she wasn't here on Sunday, but at least I got to do that last little thing for her, make her comfy as I always did, and I hope she's even more comfy wherever she is now.xxxxx

Bless you love - thinking of you all the time.
I don't know Dave of course, but I KNOW he will not get fed up with your tears.
That is what I thought about my OH - as I cried and cried for months ... But never once did he get fed up with me - although I kept telling him he must be - he would just sit with me and cuddle me or rub my back and I know that your Dave will be like that too and will want to look after you.
The arrangements all sound beautiful.
Take care and will be thinking of you tomorrow.
xxx

Yes H, I'm checking this thread twice a day to see how you're managing, and you're doing just fine, Mum would be proud of you, she always was, so wherever she is she still will be looking down on you smiling.

Sending my best wishes for tommorow, maybe not as happy as you'd like but after what you've been through do try to think of yourself for one day, you need and deserve it.

Oh H........I've been out and about and not on here for several days. What a shock to read this, I am soooo sorry sweetie.
You and your Mum, a proper pair .You always did the very best and she knew it and was so happy with you and Dave and Georgie and Zena.

I know that it is a horrible time for you at the moment, the loss, the tears, the pain in the heart constantly there....but always remember the good times and the laughter, in a while the best times are the ones you will remember first and the sorrow will be easier to cope with.
Keep your strength up and try to rest.
My thoughts and best wishes and hugs are with you
Gill x

I wish I had something better to say that would help you more - but hopefully 14 pages of peoples kind thoughts to you will help a little - your story has touched lots of people and they care for you and feel your pain

I am so sorry

So sorry to see this Helena, please accept our deepest sympathies on your tragic loss, we all know you cared for her deeply and it must be an awful time for you all just now, take care.

Awww, thankyou, thankyou all of you, sorry I don't have time to answer each one in turn, but thankyou from the bottom of my heart.xxxx

This morning was a birthday like no other, and I actually forgot until Dave handed me his card and kissed me on the cheek. In all my years, 59 of them today mum has never forgotten my birthday, no matter where she has been, and I've always had a little cheque in it to get myself something nice, but today there was no birthday card, even though she did ask me weeks ago to get myself a card for her (she's always well in advance for birthdays!) and I wish I had now, but I just laughed and said she had plenty of time, little did I know then, what little time she had left. Then I opened a letter from the pensions people and I thought to myself, tcht, what do THEY want now coz I've already done all that over the phone last Monday, and inside was a cheque addressed to me for the exact amount that my own mother would have given me for my Birthday, and I thought that was quite spooky, so thanks Mum, she didn't forget it then!

I opened a birthday card, then a condolence card, then another birthday card, and another condolence card and that's how it went on, but thankfully, most people had put on my birthday card Birthday Girl on the front of the envelope so that I knew the difference before evening opening it, how very thoughtful of them. I would like to say a massive thankyou to RRMum (aka Jo) for a lovely and unexpected surprise card of condolence, and how you got my address I don't know, but I can guess!!!!xxxx Thanks Jo, that was a lovely surprise to me this morning. I mustn't forget Elaine too, coz hers arrived the other day, and she's going to light a candle for me on Tuesday when she watches the funeral live coz I will know she will be with me even though she'll be sitting at home drinking her voddy!

I went to the solicitor this morning and got copies of the will in case I might need to have them for Tuesday if anyone asks me for a copy, which I am expecting.

There are quite a few coming now, some who I thought would never want to, and as for the others, I just don't know now, because my e-mails get sent straight back to me or left unanswered, so I'm just going to do what mum would want me to do, what is required of me, and they can take it or leave it can't they.

Now I'm sitting all alone, surrounded by beautiful flowers, waiting for the funeral director to ring me to tell me whether mum is ready for my visit. It really does seem strange, that I will be standing by her side, placing my letter into her coffin and a few other bits I would like in there, speaking to her softly, probably crying (I'll try not to!) and telling her how very strange it is that we have gone full circle, from her giving birth to me today, and now I'm standing here giving her my final farewell, it's all very odd isn't it. I'll remind her of the roast lamb she never got around to eating that night when I was determined that she should drop everything and get the midwife in coz I was on my way! Lol! She did laugh when she told me about that, coz she had been looking forward to this roast lamb dinner all day! LOvely memories, especially of her smile that lit up the room, and her laughter which she never knew she had until she came here I'm sure of that, life was all too hectic and busy for her, let alone traumatic most of the time, so I have that now, knowing how very happy she was with us in her sunset years.

I'm planning my hour long walk with Zena, my friend and her dog tomorrow through the woods where mum was in the care home, she's a very dear friend we go back many years, and it'll be nice to natter about old memories that are bound to make us laugh, especially where mum was involved, we spent a holiday at mum's villa once and kept her out all night, much to the disapproval of my brother, but mum just loved it!

Thankyou all once again, even those who are peeking and not posting, and anyways, it's better than the telly at the moment hey?!!!xxxxxx Thanks each and everyone of you.xxxx

I'm so sorry to read your news Helena, I've been offline for a couple of weeks now, just logged on to catch up and yours was the first post I came to.

I know I'm a bit late with condolences but please know that I really feel your pain and upset through your writing, thank god you have Dave and your two darling doggies to help you through this sad time.

As the others have said, your wonderful mum had a wonderful daughter and I just know that when she reaches those pearly gates, she will be pointing you out to her new friends and telling them all about the special times you had, and how you looked after her during her twilight years.

I hope you have a lovely Birthday Helena, these things can never happen at a good time but, hopefully, you can manage a few smiles during the day.

Sheree xxx