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Location: Essex
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 7,915
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19 way to maintain a healthy level of insanity
19 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity……………..
1 During your lunch break sit in a parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars – see if they slow down
2 Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice
3 Every time someone asks you to do something, ask whether they want fries with that
4 Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it ‘IN’
5 Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has a system clear of caffeine, switch it to expresso
6 Write ‘for sexual favours’ on your cheque book stubs
7 Finish all your sentences with ‘in accordance with the prophecy’
8 Don’t use any punctuation
9 As often as possible, skip instead of walk
10 Ask people what sex they are, then laugh hysterically at the answer
11 Specify that your Drive-through order is ‘to go’
12 Sing along at the opera
13 Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme
14 Put mosquito netting round your work station and play tropical sounds all day
15 Five days in advance tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood
16 Ask your co-workers to address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard
17 When your money comes out of an ATM scream ‘I won! I won!
18 When leaving the zoo run towards the parking lot yelling ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!
19 Tell your children over dinner ‘Due to the level of the economy, we’re going to have to let one of you go’