This is your quote. You'd have (not of) been hurt if your sons were gay and not felt it was a big deal to tell you. You said that, it wasn't me. You did help answer my question, though. I guess this type of parental thinking is what makes people feel the need to go telling everyone their personal business.

You haven't really explained your point at all. Despite me being 30 years younger than you, you still never explained why you'd think it were a big deal if they didn't tell you and why you'd be upset about it. So true, at this point you're wall banging.

More worrying issues? Are you serious? Yuck, why was this snarky comment necessary? Whatever, I can see there's no point in asking you why at this point. Good day.

You know, if any of my kids hadn't thought it a big deal too if any of them had been gay, I would have been upset. I'd also be upset if they didn't think it a big deal to tell me if they were planning to get married, were pregnant (or their partners were).

I want to be part of my kid's lives. I don't want them to have to worry about telling me anything.

They all know they won't be judged but will always get support, but that support can only be given if we are open with each other

Take it as you will Myra get over it.
I don't agree with you you don't agree with me leave it at that I really am not in the mood to do battle with you. I have explained myself over and over if you are missing the point well so be it.
You think me mentioning that I do not have the inclination to keep on trying to get you to understand by saying I had more pressing issues ie; birthday, anniversary is being snarky and Dillons issues we have been informed of today.
Gorden works away from home all week so today was special he has now left again till tomorrow night so no you and your debate and failing to understand what I am saying isn't important and in future when you have problems I will not bother as I have done in the past sorry but if you can be so blase about the worries I am confronted with today I have no time for you.
Chris has also tried to explain where her and I are coming from you just will not see it and I am tired of it. Yes my worries are more important than the debate you started.
I am very happy for you that you have no problems at this time. I do unfortunately.

Get over it? This debate isn't a big deal, and it's absolutely nothing for anybody to be "worried" about. Of course our personal affairs are more important than an online debate. You didn't have to add all that. But then, because you decided to do it all over again, I get it... I really do. And no, I don't mean I get the statement itself.

Chris, being open about your sexuality and other aspects of your life doesn't necessarily mean being verbal about it confrontation style. That's one of my points. Not telling you doesn't mean they are "worried", it merely means they don't think it's necessary. Perhaps that is a comfort within itself. My comment about my brother and I tried to perhaps explain this.

Both Chris and Lynn referred to their kids coming to them with their "problems", "issues" and "concerns" etc. as reasons they'd want their kids to tell them. These words should NOT apply to being gay. If they do, often the person is insecure about their sexuality in the first place and they need to address that before telling everyone.

Lynn said herself that it would be hard "at first" to accept it if her sons said they were gay (not sure why, and at this point there's no point in asking), and that's an issue to me itself. All I wanted to know was why some people felt the need to do this, and I'm kind of beginning to understand. SOME parents seem to mind if their kids don't tell them their personal business, for whatever reasons they have. Getting married is usually a public affair, which I don't compare to sexuality BTW.

If you look at it the way I am, and if you've seen some of the "coming out" verbal situations as I have, you'll see why sometimes it doesn't seem as simple as just telling someone and moving along. To some people, their sexuality isn't something they need to verbalize and to others, it's not something they truly CAN verbalize.

Okay, Lynn. You do what you feel is necessary. I have never personally asked you to help with my problems, and I won't ever do that so this works for me. Your anniversary and husbands birthday was today and your dog needs an X-ray. If those are your only "worries", then I envy you, so go ahead, do whatever you like... it really does not affect me.

Myra was there really any need for that outburst you have just directed towards Lynn, you seem to have a lot of pent up aggression festering in you somewhere, why one has to ask, maybe this subject you have highlighted is effecting you more than you wish to let on.

I agree with one aspect of your thread, I don`t see the need of flaunting "gay pride" that some people do.

But , you are missing a very crucial part of what some of us are saying,for many families, "they share" feelings, thoughts and any issues in their life, you seem to think this is some sort of weakness (that`s whats coming across) , it may be OK for you to live on an island of one, not sharing any personal issues with the rest of your family, that`s fine for you

For many parents the thought that a child of theirs is going through "any issue " they are struggling with alone would break their heart , we bring out children up to share problems, its our job to protect them in every aspect of life.............

Whether we like it or not being gay can still hold a stigma for a lot of people, that goes for those who are, as well as large population of society, so even when a individual realizes he/she is gay they may struggle with it, they may struggle with how their parents will deal with it, that does mean they need some form of counselling, (you seem to think it does) .

You don`t understand, that`s fine, but not everyone is like you, people need to be able to go to their family for support, its not a weakness.

Well put Jackie and thank you yesterday was an emotional day regards Dillon and still is. I was finding it hard to put things as well as you have done.

Sorry Lynn, not sure whats going on with Dillon, if you have posted about it I have missed it.......hope he is OK X

Jackie of course I have pent up aggression according to you. According to you, there is something wrong with every single post I have ever made since you do nothing but attack when you don't agree and stay silent when you do agree. I asked a question, and frankly I do understand a little bit better now.

The only people who can give a true answer are the people who have done the action itself and I'm not bold or rude enough to go around looking for them and asking them directly, so I was not expecting a legitimate answer from straight, married people in their 50s... I was merely looking for insight. Okay? I'm not "missing the aspect", I'm just struggling to understand it.

If I felt pressured by my parents to tell them, then I would have told them. If I felt like it would upset them not to tell them, then I'd tell them. If I felt that it was extremely important for any reason whatsoever, then I'd tell them. You can put whatever you like behind it, but that's how it is.

Again, if you're "struggling" with your sexuality, there's probably a reason for it. I find, and this is no offense... that it's usually a religious or other backgrounds that people COME FROM that causes these issues to begin with. In my case, and in the case of many other people... it's glaringly obvious so I'd really be in trouble if my parents couldn't accept it.

If my parents had ever seemed like homophobes, or had ever seemed as if they had a problem with gay or simply non heterosexual people, then yeah perhaps I'd struggle with it. And you are acting as if these "coming out" incidents always result in acceptance. That is not the case. Gays are less than 3% of the USA population, BTW. I find that there's more to it than simply "sharing it" because you're a family. There seems to be a connection of pressure behind it. That's how I feel, doesn't mean that's how YOU feel.

And I didn't have any more of an "outburst" as you always seem to call them... than she did. If she has "no time" for me, that's fine. But why should I sit and say "Okay, thanks... that's awesome"? Not going to happen. I am who I am. Reprimand me if you like, I expected someone to mention it anyway.

Myra now you are attacking Jackie. If you take the time sometimes to read what you write and how you write it it does get people's backs up sometimes. We do not all agree with each other and will not change our point of view to appease you.
Sometimes you have to let things go and agree to disagree.
We all have different opinions about this and how families support each other also we are as nations poles apart in our ways of thinking.
Did you expect to get a big gay community under 50 on Dogsey ? The majority of us are in out latter years and have children and even Grandchildren.

For your information I have until recently had far more to worry about than Dillon's problems which have arisen. This next jolt is another kick for me while picking myself up from many awful moments over the last 3 years.
Your comment of if that's all I have to worry about I should count myself lucky is highly offensive.
Never assume people's lives are perfect or their problems are lesser than yours. It makes an ass out of you and me.

I think it would be best if this thread is now left to die a natural death it is stirring up bad feeling and I can assure you I take no delight in having to keep defending myself so end of conversation for me.

I would say the reason some people feel the need to 'come out' (of the closet) is because for many years (until 1967 ) homosexuality was against the law in this country and could lead to prosecution and imprisonment (this is still the case in some countries) . Stating your sexual orientation had to be done surreptitiously and then only to trusted people.

Although times have changed I think there is still a carry over from previous times and some homosexuals feel the need to 'come out' and declare their sexual orientation publicly because it is still not accepted as the norm by some. If that is their choice that is fine by me.

My best friend when I was growing up in the 1950s a boy named 'J' was a homosexual. His father sensing that he was 'different' tried to make him conform to his idea of what 'normal' should be with punishment and beatings J only felt able to 'come out' ' to the world in general after his father's death (and decriminalisation ).

Hopefully, there will come a time when homosexuality/bisexuality is viewed as being just as 'normal' as heterosexuality and then people will no longer feel the need to 'come out'.