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Murf
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13-10-2011, 12:53 PM
Originally Posted by lilyput View Post
I don't see where you say how much you love him and what a great relationship you have! It's all "me, me me".

Poor lad - he's only 25. Why shouldn't he have some fun - doesn't sound like he gets very much in his life.
Meow.......
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SLB
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13-10-2011, 01:03 PM
Originally Posted by Murf View Post
Meow.......
That's what I thought too
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lilyput
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13-10-2011, 01:21 PM
Originally Posted by Murf View Post
Meow.......


Eh? Not at all - that makes no sense!

I actually feel really sorry for him - he's about the age of my younger son. Luckily he's in a caring and loving relationship.
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labradork
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13-10-2011, 01:30 PM
I'm all for spending money IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

So many people fall into dire financial situations because they live above their means. If he can afford to buy and run the car he is interested in, then fine. If he is talking about taking out loans to fund it or the running costs are substantially more than what is realistically affordable, then yes you are right to be concerned.

I don't follow the "you are only young once" rubbish as an excuse for poor spending decisions. Age has nothing to do with spending your money sensibly.
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labradork
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13-10-2011, 01:32 PM
Originally Posted by lilyput View Post
Eh? Not at all - that makes no sense!

I actually feel really sorry for him - he's about the age of my younger son. Luckily he's in a caring and loving relationship.
How rude of you to suggest that the OP is not in a loving and caring relationship based on a thread on an internet forum!
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sarah1983
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13-10-2011, 01:34 PM
Not sure where you get the idea that SLB and her OH don't have a loving and caring relationship. They rent a house together, I assume they will live together when he has finished his training, imo that gives her every right to have a say in what they spend their income on. If they CAN afford the car then let him have it, if they can't then he needs to grow up and realise that you can't always have what you want. Just my opinion.
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Rolosmum
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13-10-2011, 01:39 PM
I dont think age comes into this in the slightest, i think the situation you have yourself in, your incomings and outgoings and the whole life you lead has to make the decisions and if you choose to live and share your life with someone something as important as a car whereby you will be borrowing money to buy it must be a mutual decision.

If he has taken on the responsibility of a home with a partner, yes it is unfortunate that he finds himself responsible for all bills for the time being, but at what age does he need to take responsibility? It isnt an age thing it is a stage thing! If you want to be able to freely do as you want then forget the partner and do it, but sometimes you can not have your cake and eat it. And to say he is young he has a life to lead is fine but he has chosen to do this with someone.
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Wozzy
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13-10-2011, 02:09 PM
I was always into cars, modified ones and always ran 2 cars - my everyday car and my show car. All my money was spent on running them and my weekends were spent polishing them (even though one hadnt been out of the garage from one week to the next!)

However, when I got a mortgage and dogs, all that had to go out of the window. Between me and my OH we had 5 cars, we had to take that down to just 2. I'd love to have something powerful, even now, but couldnt afford the fuel so I stick with my slow, boring Scenic!

Males mature more slowly than females - FACT! - so I think you are banging your head against a brick wall Aimee! And then once they grow up and mature, they are ready for their midlife crisis! How do his parents feel about it? I'm pretty sure if they slapped all the bills on you he would think twice, he'd have to because utility companies, the council etc dont mess about.
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SLB
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13-10-2011, 02:11 PM
Originally Posted by Rolosmum View Post
I dont think age comes into this in the slightest, i think the situation you have yourself in, your incomings and outgoings and the whole life you lead has to make the decisions and if you choose to live and share your life with someone something as important as a car whereby you will be borrowing money to buy it must be a mutual decision.

If he has taken on the responsibility of a home with a partner, yes it is unfortunate that he finds himself responsible for all bills for the time being, but at what age does he need to take responsibility? It isnt an age thing it is a stage thing! If you want to be able to freely do as you want then forget the partner and do it, but sometimes you can not have your cake and eat it. And to say he is young he has a life to lead is fine but he has chosen to do this with someone.
someone who gets it and managed to put it in better words than I did

Thanks everyone for the kind support.. well I've listed all the income for the time being until I start working. Listed all the outgoings and I'm going to let him decide - I'm going to suggest to his Mum and Dad that they do not help him out with this - this is something he needs to learn from himself. His brother can do what he likes because me and him don't see eye to eye, so they can do that and I'll be there to support him - but I'm not promising I won't say "I told yo so" when/if (there might be an if there) he fails...
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SLB
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13-10-2011, 02:15 PM
Originally Posted by Leanne_W View Post
I was always into cars, modified ones and always ran 2 cars - my everyday car and my show car. All my money was spent on running them and my weekends were spent polishing them (even though one hadnt been out of the garage from one week to the next!)

However, when I got a mortgage and dogs, all that had to go out of the window. Between me and my OH we had 5 cars, we had to take that down to just 2. I'd love to have something powerful, even now, but couldnt afford the fuel so I stick with my slow, boring Scenic!

Males mature more slowly than females - FACT! - so I think you are banging your head against a brick wall Aimee! And then once they grow up and mature, they are ready for their midlife crisis! How do his parents feel about it? I'm pretty sure if they slapped all the bills on you he would think twice, he'd have to because utility companies, the council etc dont mess about.
Well I've written all the costs of everything down for him.. His Dad doesn't think he should get it, he can see the sensible side and he said he's always wanted a sports car type thing but finances and practicality took it all out for him - so he's never had one.. His Mum is in Malta atm so I can't ask her..
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