Anybody know anything about residency orders and children? sorry bit long.

6 years ago my eldest son thought with what was in his trousers rather than his brain and it resulted in our lovely Grandson Joel.
His Mum is a nightmare and we knew all along she was bad news, but being a hormonal teenager he didn't listen.
They got together he paid off all her rent arrears from previously and they got a flat (in her name) she told Mark that was the only way the council would do it, again he got taken in, I feel sure they didn't but couldn't prove anything.
Anyway two years later she threw Mark out of the flat she has problems mentally ie: depression it gets really bad, Mark left as she was causing such a scene and was advised to leave by his Neighbour who is a Policeman he said he would keep an eye as he knew Mark was worried about the Children so he came home. Things got really bad, she said she had taken an overdose and was admitted to hospital and had her Mum worried she hadn't it was attention seeking we had been through something similar before with her.
They met up and talked and she said he could see the children she also has a Son from a previous relationship he will be 11 in January but always looked upon Mark as his Dad. We have been through the mill with her drunken behaviour and not being there when she is meant too. when the children are meant to be returned. She has stopped Mark from seeing them on occassions also, he hasn't seen Jordan for a long while supposedly his idea we are not too sure about it but have to accept it.
Things have been going well for over a year Joel visits and stays with Mark every other weekend and his Partner and her children and nearly all of the Holidays.
Sunday Donna phoned and said they would be going out did Mark want to drop Joel off earlier or leave it till later so mark opted for later.
9pm no phone call to say they were back home so Mark put him to bed with George and Owen as they all had School next day. Donna rang at 11.30pm and said about taking him home of course he said no he was sleeping he would take him back early Monday for school which he did. While walking home Joel told his Dad he didn't want too go back he wanted to live with his Dad, so Mark said we have to be careful how we ask your Mum as Joel knows she goes off on one if anything upsets her so he asked Mark if he would ask her which Mark did. She seemed fine then he got a nasty text saying Mark couldn't see him on his next weekend as she thinks Joel is too upset to see him at the moment.
He has been looking into residency orders the law changed in 2003 a year later than Joel was born and it seems Mark had no rights his name is on the birth Certificate but they were never married.
I have told him to speak to Social Services for some advice, which I think he will but he is worried about rocking the boat for Joel and his visiting when she decides to calm down she now has a 3rd Child by someone else who is still living there.
We noticed Sunday that Joel now has this nervous thing going on, he can't keep his leg still it is constantly on the go especially when talking to him.
Gorden is going to speak to someone at work to see if he can find out what his rights are if any but wondered if anyone on here had any ideas.
I did ring Social Services myself about 18months ago as I was worried about the Children but they don't seem interested in anything and the fact that she dumped Jordan on her Mum when he was about 18 months old and dissappeared and her Mum brought him up till he was nearly 4 then she was able to take him back as she had sorted her drug habit out and then met Mark and then got pregnant. As far as they were concerned she was a fit Mother once again. Can you see why I am worried.
Any ideas gratefully received I hate seeing Mark so down over all this it really hurts him.
sorry its so long.

Personally I would get him to go to the citizens advice bureau. they will be able to talk him through all of his rights and the different scenarios.It would also mean you were able to go with him if needed as moral support.

Thanks Rachel I think that is what we are going to have to do.

Good luck. There is nothing worse than dealing with parental rights and children.

Terrible situation to be in. Try the yellow pages and look up a service called CAFCAS (children and family court advisory service). While I dont think they could provide you all the answers, they could definately get the ball rolling.

Thanks for that Chris.

Hi Lynn, as you know we Foster children, residency orders can be tricky, but if you seek legal advice they will advise you of your rights, admitedly they were not married, but in actual fact it is a good thing that his name is on the birth certificate...which indicates that she is saying he is the Father, however if he hasn;t been paying regular maintenance this maybe addressed.
Sometimes they will grant what your asking about but it maybe also need to be proved that she is unfit to look after your grandson, also sometimes they go down the road of assessment on the child...ie you say he's has developed a nervous habit etc., but this may need some thought from both yourselves and your son as sometimes including the child in thier battle (so to speak) does damage to the child (I know) However in my opinion damage will be done if left. Unfortunately they will not allow your grandson make his mind up '''who he lives with'' due to his age, but it will be taken into consideration, to a point. This maybe done through Social Services if they are required to get involved.
There is also the consideration they she has a mother too.....not saying that she wants the child, but they consider this.
So therefore make an appointment first with CAB....and see one of thier legal representatives who can guide you, maybe best if you all go along (you,hubby and son) that way one of you may ask something that the other has forgotten to mention etc., and the same with listening to what has been said to yourselves.
I hope you get it sorted as it sounds as if your little grandson could do with a bit of TLC and structure right now....all my love xxxxxxxxxxxx

Does he have parental responsibility? If not he needs to apply for it, that will give him the same rights as if they were married, they will ask the mothers permission and if she refuses, it will go to court and is almost always awarded to the father (unless there is good reason not to)

You might find this link helpful

http://www.thompsons.law.co.uk/ltext/prfam005.htm

Thankyou Stephanie and VV. i will talk to him about the things mentioned and look into it. He is worried about joel and the way she reacts, Joel said to Mark a couple of months back Mum hates you because when I try to tell her what I have done when I have stayed with you and Tracey she tells me to be quiet and says I hate your dad, I don't want to know what you have been doing.
The thing about her Mum is she has not been such a good Mum herself over the years and they have not spoken for a year. In all honesty we would not want him to go there, she is a lovely person but again doesn't have a clue, the house is dirty and she certainly would not be a good influence neither would her Son that still lives there with her.

Hope you sort it out Hun, speak to your son. There is absolutley no harm is seeking advice. That way you know where you stand. So sorry she feels she needs to use Joel as a pawn, but tell your son from me....she won't be the first nor the last.
Unfortunately there are bitter Ex's out there and it is thier only way of hitting back, but IMO if you keep backing down they will always do it. Once again....hope you sort it out and wishing you all the very best xxxxxxxxxx