Dog behaviour problem - boyfriend has left - please help!

Sorry if this sounds like a problem page but my boyfriend left me and the three dogs a week ago. He'd got Lily, a patterdale x chihuahua cross about 5 weeks ago and back in December we brought Betty home, a terrier from the rescue I volunteer at. I had two elderly chihuahuas, one I sadly lost in August this year and was still grieving for when he brought Lily home. The other chi just turned 16.

Betty had always had issues, being a rescue dog I am sure some people can relate to this. She had no training whatsoever but we taught her the basics, she is a bright dog who wants to learn. But since the boyfriend left she has turned into a total delinquent. I guess she looked to him as the leader and now he has gone she is acting up like nothing else. Running off on walks, going completely deaf when I call her back, running up and barking at other dogs off lead, pulling like a train on the lead and barking in the garden every time she goes out. She just will not listen to me, she goes up to other dog owners I know on walks (men especially) and is good as gold, doing whatever they ask. While I stand there like a total pr*t!

Having the puppy as well is making it doubly hard (I love her but wouldn't have had her given the choice) although at least she comes back when called. However she has a habit of rushing up to other dogs yapping excitedly. Betty sees it as the other dogs going to attack her, so she wades in. And of course she doesn't come back when I call her. But in the house Betty is a different dog and does what I ask. Why is this? Can I do anything for her to see me as boss (other than getting a sex change?!)

I was going to buy a couple of long lines to work on Betty's recall and the pup yapping but can I walk two dogs on two lines? I am prepared to walk them separately but even though I only work part time I don't have unlimited spare time. My whole life just seem to be dogs, dogs, dogs and when they play me up I feel like giving up and letting them go to someone else who they would listen to and be happier with. Its so hard coping alone I feel like I'm at the end of my tether.

Can I get through these difficulties or am I just not cut out for the job?

Oh sweetie, I really feel for you. I have three dogs and know how tough it can be coping with them on your own, and mine are all adults!

There are others on here who are complete experts with regards to training, so I'll leave them to respond re this area.

As for your boyfriend........ is there no hope?

Hugs x0x

I just wanted to wish you well.

There will be someone along shortly who will be able to advise you re long lines. I'm afraid for me though, 1 long line is hard enough let alone wrestle with 2 at the same time (but then i have rubbish co-ordination, lol).

Hugs from us.

I'm so sorry to hear your news...I'm not renowned for having well behaved dogs so have nothing to offer to help you with the training...just wanted to wish you well and let you know that there are owners on here who will be able to help you, please don't despair as I'm sure they'll get you sorted

Oh dear....I would imagine your emotional state is also contributing to how the dogs are behaving...mine always play up when I'm feeling down.

I personally wouldn;t go for 2 long lines. I would go into walking the Pup seperately. She is at an age where she will be soaking up information like a sponge....and you don;t wnat her to start copying the older dogs behaviour...sonmehow they always pick up the bad habits easier than the good

You right back to basics out and about....have really tasty food...or (if she;s a terrier) a tuggy toy to play with her with. Make it good to be with you....nice happy voice |(even when shes been gone 20mins!) and a long line...might be worth considering whistle training as well....sometimes reteaching a command with a new sound can really help.

Good luck

((Hugs))

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend has left.

Well done for at least trying to keep them all, even though, as you say, the pup was not your choice.

As far as Betty goes, IMO, the best way of getting her to understand that you are the leader is to use the NILIF approach (Nothing in Life is Free). This means that she has to work for her food and for your affection. The 'work' doesn't have to be anything complicated, but, for example, when at home she comes to you for a cuddle, make her do a sit or a down before you start petting her.

When you feed her, put her food down and make her leave it until you say she can have it.
Be consistant and don't let her 'get away' with not doing as you ask. You should start to see an improvement (and when you are happy with the way she is, you can relax the NILIF approach).

As for the long line, I think if it was me, I would get one and take it in turns for one to be on a short lead and one to be on the long line (with 2 long lines you stand too much risk of you getting all tangled up).

I appreciate what you are saying about limited time, but it might be an idea to walk the two seperately now and again, particularly when they need to listen to you a bit more. If you take them out seperately ocassionally, it will give you a chance to work on their issues individually. It shouldn't be forever.

I do hope things get better for you, you are sounding so down (which is completely understandable). x

You've really got your hands full. There are two of us with two dogs and it can still be hard enough walking them separately( Chip is 6 months so can't go as far) You've been put in a difficult situation and you sound as if you're working very hard to keep on top of it.

I've use a long line at times with Dale but I couldn't manage two lines. If you had a line it would give you more control of the older dog and the puppy would be more likely to come too. It should make it easier for you to stop him wading in when the puppy meets other dogs.
I also invested in a Halti for Dale before we got Chip and it made lead walking near roads much easier. Though I didn't need to use it for long.

However I think you will need to walk them separately, when possible, as well so you can work on recall and lead walking. The puppy might benefit from more opportunities to socialise with other dogs on his own.

Would the rescue give you any help with training? A lady I meet has had a lot of help with various issues from the Dog's Trust.

Do you go to any training classes? If not I'd ask around and see what's on in your area. The more you do with them the more they'll get used to seeing you as their leader and a good class will give you support and fun too.

Give it time and I'm sure things will improve. You'll find some good suggestions on here and good friends too.

Well now you`ve got less house-work and sock-washing to do and all that pent-up fury at being dumped by the B*$&*(£"¬! why not roll your sleeves up and sort the little madam out! Great advice from Hali - make her work for her pleasures. I`d train her on her own personally.

Good advice given, so just want to wish you luck x

To everyone who has taken the time to post - thank you so, so much. Its taken me ages to compose this as I was in tears over the fact that so many of you had taken the time to reply. I am overwhelmed! Has given me so much comfort and support and I feel so much better about things now. Can't believe there are so many lovely people here - thank you again, all of you.

So here's an update (bit long, sorry!) - I walked them separately this morning - Betty first with her canny collar (she never took to the Halti) and she was like a new dog/old self. Calm, focussed on me, within the 40 minute walk I had her looking at me (not charging ahead at everything and anything) and doing sits and lie downs whenever I asked. I got home and gave her the biggest cuddle I was so proud of her.

Then I took Lily (the pup) on her own, in the half hour walk she was also sitting whenever I asked, not just at the kerb, on the grass, by the poo bin (!), every few minutes - admittedly yummy treats were rewarded most times but sometimes just a huge amount of praise and a tickle. An elderly lady I passed on the walk commented on how well behaved Lily was compared to her JRT and asked would I train her dog - had to laugh at that one!

Lily starts puppy classes tomorrow night, my b/f had gone to the introduction night and despite him leaving had promised to come over and show me what she needed to learn by the first class - needless to say he didn't, great help that was lol! I rang the trainer on Saturday and explained the problem, she said Lily needed to respond to her name and know the 3 second sit by my left side. I was panicking thinking I'd never be able to do this in time but after this morning I know she can and even if, as dogs have a knack of doing, she behaves like a delinquent tomorrow night, at least I know she CAN do it.

I did pop up the rescue after and spent a couple of hours walking the dogs there, so by the time I'd got back, done the shopping and bought the long line there wasn't time to separately walk them again (goddam these dark evenings!). You all would have laughed at the sight of me, trying to co ordinate canny collar + normal lead, then switch to long line and practising recall with Betty whilst keeping an eye on puppy and trying to stop her yapping at a labrador (she got a bit mauled by a rott so is scared of big dogs she doesn't know now, trying to work it out of her but is hard, especially with everything else lol) and having treats ready in my hands to reward them. I need to grow some more arms! And eyes! So the night walk wasn't quite as succesful, Betty kept getting the long line wrapped round her legs and didn't actually run, just trotted around, so I hope she's going to get enough exercise but I guess training tires them out and then of course her and Lily play like nutters in the house and garden.

I do always make the dogs sit and wait for 10 seconds with their bowls in front of them before they are allowed to eat, and make them sit and wait at the door and if Betty starts barking in the garden I call her back in and get her to sit, shake paw, something to distract her. She used to be almost silent until we were burgled in June, we caught the guy in the house while we were in it, nice night that was (!) Now she is sometimes a bit too barky in the garden for my liking, (don't like yappy dogs and always discouraged my chis from doing it) especially after the b/f left she has been very jumpy and cries for him, is so sad

So - thanks mainly to all of you here - 24 hours on I feel loads better. If I haven't bored you all to tears I will post back and let you know how Lily gets on at her class!

love and hugs to everyone and thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

meens xxx