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Location: Nr Edinburgh
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 5,350
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29-01-2009, 06:23 PM
Originally Posted by Loki's mum 
Malamute is just a posh name for a big husky. The only difference apart from the size is that Malamutes aren't blind. They are all exactly like wolves and will eat any other dog or person who dares approach them. They should be in zoos or pulling sleds, definitely NOT kept as pets.
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Location: Essex, UK
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 14,147
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29-01-2009, 08:11 PM
DOGS FOR YOUR NAN
Bichon Freeze: a sort of very small snow-dog that has hair like your Nan so she`ll think it`s a friend.
Yorkie: can double as a mop so she doesn`t have to bend down.
Pekinese: Makes a good muff and she can shove it in the bed when the leccie blanket is on the blink.
Bull Mastiff: can be chained to the front door to keep the Council busy-bodies away when they come nosing round to see what I`m growing in her greenhouse.
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Location: Essex UK
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,424
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29-01-2009, 08:23 PM
Nothing says 'I love you' like a cute fluffy puppy. If you're lucky you'll be long gone out of that relationship before that puppy turns into a smelly dog!
Chihuahuas, they're little and proper like Paris Hilton and you can like get them bling and stuff, but they're dead expensive so you'd need some proper money for one.
Shizhus, Best thing about these little furry mops is like they've got a swear word like right in their name so you can swear and stuff and her mum can't even stop you or nuthin'. Also cost a lot though.
Andrex puppies - These are more common in the local papers, their proper name is Labrador or golden retreiver or either of these names with cross after it. They are cheaper, but grow into bigger dogs, so you might have to get out of that relationship quicker.
Staffy or pitbullcross - Easiest option is one of the girl dogs off of one of your mates well hard dogs. Girl dogs don't grow up to be as well 'ard as the boy ones, so they make great girlfriend dogs, specially the white ones, what are probably deaf anyway.
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Location: Blackpool, UK
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,045
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29-01-2009, 11:56 PM
Doesn't really matter coz it'll be gone by New Year fer bein' a dirty little bu**er an peein' on the rug.
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Location: Essex, UK
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 14,147
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30-01-2009, 09:54 AM
Originally Posted by Loki's mum
DOGS TO BUY AS PREZZIES FOR YOUR KIDS AT CHRISTMAS
Doesn't really matter coz it'll be gone by New Year fer bein' a dirty little bu**er an peein' on the rug.
Little Tarquin and Lorinda will be absolutely thrilled with a furry friend this year, and remember it may also help their asthma, phobias and ASDD*. Smaller dogs that can be played with properly are best as they fit into Dolly bonnets etc. Please note these animals need to be changed frequently for reasons of hygeine. It is also worth checking to see if the au pair has religious objections to picking up excreta. (*attention seeking disorder definitely)
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Location: Essex UK
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,424
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01-02-2009, 07:37 PM
There are some important truisms related to dog colour that all Dummies must know, this is not the complete list...
White dogs are all deaf
Blue eyed dogs are all blind
Black dogs are meaner
Ginger dogs are loopy
Wolf coloured dogs are wild and un-trainable
Black and white dogs are sheepdogs, or have sheepdog in em
All spotty dogs are Dalmatians
Four white feet is unlucky (I was told this)
Pink is a naturally occurring colour in poodles
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Location: Essex, UK
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 14,147
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Location: Derby, UK
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 124
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01-02-2009, 07:50 PM
Pugs
A little lap dog, requires no exercise, training or grooming.
Happy to sit, eat and watch telly all day. Ideal dog for the elderly.
Costs a lot, is therefore the height of fashion.
Comes in a variety of colours, cream, black, white, brown.. depending on what shop you get them from.
Loves to wear stupid clothes.
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