doggy etiquette

Doggy Etiquette

BUMP:
The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP:
A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require... especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See below.

SOFAS:
Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH:
This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

GARBAGE CAN:
A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and great tasting moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES:
Two-wheeled fun exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS:
This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

LEASH:
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED:
any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL:
Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF:
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

very good lol. i think max has already read this

:smt005