Please Someone Reassure Me!!!!!!!!

I know i said i would post some pics of our new pup Ruby and i will tomorrow but having had no sleep since thursday i need to try to tonight. I know this is a long process but can i just ask for someone to reassure me that leaving a pup in a crate overnight and leaving her whilst crying is acceptable... i am finding it sooooooo hard!

To be honest, i know people seem to say that training a new pup is possibly easier as you are training it from the outset BUT i keep having the same conflicting issues and questions running round my head when she is crying...1) she has just been split up from her family and brought into a new enviroment so surely i need to reassure her that everything is ok.
2) i need to form a bond with her and 3) she needs to understand the routine and who is in charge so i must leave her!??!?!?!?!??!?

There are threads on this previously but can someone please just confirm to me that i MUST leave her.

:smt101

I think it is totally up to you.

When I had my first Dobe I was told to leave him and just amuse myself by listening to his howling and it change in tones as he got bored; then remembered and started all over again! that was 15 years ago and didn't seem to harm him.


This time I put my boy in a cage but slept on the kitchen floor next to him for the first week or more.......... I may have gone over the top there but it worked and he loves his cage

So if you feel you MUST leave her then do, you are more worried and more upset than your girl is!

Dogs do play us up and if you keep popping back to check she is OK she will keep screaming for you..............

Good luck and don't give in

Hi Jakey no one can tell you what you must do, the choice is yours . I personally don't think puppies are capable of taking into consideration who is in charge. I have trained many puppies over the years and have never had a problem with any of them..I have always treated them with gentleness and consideration making sure they are not scared in any way, then gradually as they gain in confidence introduce separation and independence . I think if the puppy is left to cry it will be quiet eventually, but leaving puppies to cry when first they leave the litter is not my way..

I don't know if this will be any help to you.... http://www.dogweb.co.uk/talkdogs/hou...uppy_8974.html

Hi there I have had many puppies over the years and have personally never used a crate, and have never had any problems with them but, hey it's up to you and crates do seem to be very popular nowadays. Personally I prefer to make them feel loved and comfortable and to try and reduce their separation anxiety as much as I can until I feel they are old enough to gradually be separated from you (much like a human baby really). I would be tempted to handle it the way that YOU feel comfortable as dogs pick up on your anxiety just like human babies do. Which ever way you choose - good luck and don't fret about it, I'm sure you'll do fine.

We have never had a puppy that has cried or been unsettled overnight. Maybe we have just been lucky but maybe it is because our pups sleep in the bedroom with us, and continue to do so as adults. With puppies I make a cosy nest beside the bed. This is usually a cardboard box or a small basket (crates were unheard of way back when & I have stuck to beds for night-time). The little bed is close enough for me to put my hand on the pup and the pup to feel it is not on its lonesome in a strange new world. After a while, when the pup is used to its new surroundings, the dog bed is moved to the foot of our bed.

You don't have to leave your puppy, but if you do not want her in the bedroom you should not go to her when she cries as this will reinforce the behaviour. If you are positive she does not need to toilet then leave her to settle on her own. Do put an article of clothing that has your scent on it in her bed for comfort and reassurance

Being shut in a crate may also be worrying her if she is not accustomed to it. Crate training can be a slow process. This article may be of help: http://www.dogweb.co.uk/talkdogs/the...sed_15552.html

How about a bit of both ? take the crate to the bedroom for the first few weeks -let the pup get used to the smell of you and will be close enough to be comforted .
When we got Murph we used a crate straight away - I remember spending a good few nights next to him and when we got Macey she spent the first few nights upstairs with us -till she decided she liked the look of Murphs bed

some fantastic advice already. Think you have to decide what you want. We've been going down to Saturn when he starts to get really upset, 1) because he's a puppy and we feel bad 2) because it's very loud and we live in a semi 3) because our son needs sleep and has to go to school the next day!!!! When we go down we try not to make any fuss, even make eye contact. We let him out, clean his crate if needs be, put him back on his bed, close the gate and put the cover over and wait until he's quiet, if he makes a fuss, we open up and put him back on his bed, again, not even making eye contact! All done in the dark! We then sit on a chair and wait for him to settle, he does, we go to bed...he's left with radio 4 and a cuddly dalmation!!!!!! It's working, he was up once last night at 5.30 for a poo. Put back in his crate, he went 'humph' lay down and back to bed I went...he wasn't even asleep when I left him!!!!! ( Treat him a bit like I did with my son when he woke in the nights for feeds, kept it dark and quiet, no fuss, not playtime, very boring, but still gentle and kind etc....)

I hasten to add, all of this is done with positive reinforcement of the crate during the day. He was fed in there, given rewards when he went in there and settled, put in there when he falls asleep anywhere else, he has a pillow in his bed now ( he fits on it!) etc etc etc. It can be a slow process, but they do get there, you just have to decide what YOU want, perhaps putting the crate in your room may be an option, just think long term, if you want your dog in your room, fine, your choice, make sure LONG TERM that is the plan and will be okay, if not, don't start it!!! GOOD LUCK! Hope this helps!!!!

ps tried not to go down to him one time...he BARKED for 2 hours and showed no sign of stopping even to draw breath, just don't feel that's acceptable, I never did the controlled crying thing with my son and haven't done it with pups either but ultimately they all settle. Mayve flat coats have a stubborn streak....The trouble with the leave them to bark it out thing is when you leave them in the day and they bark and howl when they realise, they are rewarded on your return anyway, even if you don't go to them til they're quiet, they know you're back and it's worked....

hey!!
well, i can report that the second night was an incident free one. I was worried about leaving her crying but in the end she just went to bed in her bed in her crate and didnt wake until 6 this morning ...not a sound.


I am glad i slept next to her the first night but after reading your advice i think we are happy that she stays downstairs, if she is content as we dont want her upstairs when she gets older. She seems to be clingy and yet very independant already. She has just taken herself to her crate and fallen asleep. We have the new crufts freedom pen which i hughly recommend. It is expensive but you can add to it and as it has no roof, it feels a little less confining. She has her bed with her hot water bottle and cover and a old pajama case that i took to the breeders and was put in with her litter mates. I also have a little blanket in there that has my scent on.

Wow, fingers crossed. I hope tonight is the same story. Thanks all for your suggestions. It is so hard and i think you are right mini, maybe she is too small to start with some of the finer parts of training. She needs love and reassurance. We did a couple of minutes of sit and stay last night and she picked it up very well. Considering she is only 8 weeks and still very small, she has a very intelligent head on her already.

:smt023 :smt023 :smt023 :smt023 :smt023 :smt023 :smt023 :smt023

This is exactly what i did too. must be a Dobermann thing. and I'm going through it all again now, each night i moved further away until by the 3rd night i was on the sofa so can still get to her easily for the middle of the night wee. she has been here a week now and i'm back in my bed and go to her once about 4am for her wee then straight back to bed.

Stick with it.