It probably is automatic, and with the lack of pm's it makes sending people elsewhere problematic.
Maybe just try writing the name of the site, so instead of "www.dogsey.com" just dogsey. Hopefully that will work, and if it's as you said a list of rescues rather than a forum hopefully the mods won't have a problem with it.

Thanks for that.
I guess the OP can do a search for rescues and lots will come up anyway.
I dont want to get into trouble !

HI Kathy--

No harsh words are due you. You're having a hard time and you have made the thoughtful and intelligent decision to question whether having a puppy is right for you just now. It may very well not be-- and to be honest I'm more than a wee bit irritated with anyone who would just shove one into your lap. Surprise!

I was suffering from pretty severe depression when I got my first puppy. That decision was right for me, and he turned my life right around. But I made that decision. I thought about it for months. I researched breeds. I bought stacks of books and read them all. I signed up with a vet practice. I went out and bought beds and food and toys and stuff to make a puppy enclosure in my living room. I asked for dog insurance for my birthday. I reinforced the back garden. I did all those things-- long before I got the puppy-- me. I did. Nobody made that decision for me, and nobody should have made it for you.

Now you're in the harsh place where you're not sure if you can take care of your puppy, a puppy you didn't ask for-- and that is absolutely fine. You are being honest not just with yourself, but with your puppy too. If you didn't love them or care about them you wouldn't be asking this question, so don't beat yourself up.

I will second above posts: please, don't sell. Look for a good rescue organisation. They won't judge you (or they'd better not) for having been put into a situation that isn't right for you, and they'll help you find a good home for your pup. The term is rehome, not to be confused with 'get rid of'. It's a perfectly responsible thing to do.

I wish you all the best, and send you healing thoughts.

Hi Kathy

I have just read your thread and I have just lost my little lad.

I have suffered from serious depression all of my life, I have to take three different meds everyday just to function.

The reason why I am saying this is because I do know exactly what it feels like to suffer depression. It affects everyone differently of course but the general feelings are the same.

I am one of the lucky ones in that getting my dog was exactly what I needed. He actually gave me a reason to live each day and that was right for me.

Having a puppy that you didn't ask for may not be right for you, only you can, and should, make that choice.

A dog is a lifelong companion who will give unlimited and boundless love but there is a cost both emotionally and mentally.

You have to commit selflessly to loving and caring for your doggy companion, you must and have to put their needs first, way and above your own and I know how hard it is to do that when your feeling as black as depression makes us feel.

The only advice I would dare to feel qualified to offer is that which everyone else has said.

If you feel that having a doggy friend is not what you want then by making that honest choice you have already shown that creature love and kindness by allowing him or her to become available to find an forever home.

The only other thing I can advise is again what's already been said, please please do not sell your dog as you have no control of where he/she ends up. You will have no way of knowing if the pup ends up in a loving and appropriate home or ends p being used in dog fights or puppy farming.

A good breeder should be able to take the pup back and seek a forever home.

There is no judgement on you what so ever regardless of what you decide and I just want you to know that as a sufferer of depression you really are not alone.

Kenny, That really is a thoughtful, understanding and sincere post. honest advice and not judgemental . I cant find a big hug smiley so I've added a kiss one .

Kathy, you could always volunteer to walk other people's dogs in the future if you decide its best to rehome your puppy, there ar eldery and disabled people who would appreciate help with their pets .

PS I live in West London /Middlesex, if you are near me and need any help please let me know .

Regarding the research you did prior to getting a dog, I'm impressed there's not many people who can say they did all of that. (There's not a lot I get impressed about these days either )

Regarding 'rehome' again a very good point.

Do let us know how you are doing Kathy...

Thank you Losos. I've always been a bit of a Hermione Granger that way, but the point is still the same: I did the work because I wanted the dog and was ready for that responsibility. It is not a small one and not one to undertake if you're not sure it's for you, especially if you aren't well. I'm impressed with anyone who looks at that decision carefully. It is a years long thing-- not easy for someone just 18, someone who is just starting out, even at the best of times. It's hard work, and sometimes not the right hard work.

Kathy, I'm glad you came here, and I hope you're doing OK.

No harsh comments please. Well, I started feeling depressed when I was 16, I am now 18. My birthday was in April and for it my parents decided to get me a 9 week old German Shepherd. At first I said no, as I diddnt think I could look after one but my parents and brother kept insisting I was over-reacting and over-thinking. We ended up buying the puppy and she is 4 months old now. I have been trying my best to look after her and train her, but I feel like I have to force myself to do them. I knew a dog would either help my depression or make me feel worse. I thought I would be able to handle it, but I really do feel I'm just getting worse. Its mainly me looking after her during the day, I don't want to end up neglecting her but I really feel like that may happen. I tried telling my family about it but they say I have been doing a good job and I am still just over-thinking. My brother has always wanted a dog and he would never let us sell her, but recently I have been struggling to cope with looking after her and trying to cope with my feelings. I really don't know what to do. Has anyone else been through this, any advise.

Did you mean to post this here? Given you had posted all this before and received sound advice.

If your brother wants a dog let him look after and its ultimately your parents decision. Make it explicitly clear to them how you feel and tell them you are no longer responsible for the dog.

to be fair the dog should be rehomed by a breed rescue sooner rather than another 3mths down the line