|
Location: Leyland, Lancashire
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 7,651
|
|
HOW TO TAKE A PHOTO OF A PUPPY
Remove film from box and load camera
Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in the bin
Remove puppy from bin and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
Choose a suitable background for photo
Mount camera on tripod and focus
Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera
Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees
Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand
Get tissue and clean nose print from lens
Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in bin
Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
Put magazines back on coffee table
Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head
Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say,
"No, outside!!"
Fix a drink
Sit back in your favourite chair with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and stay" the first thing in the morning