Annoyed - am I being unreasonable/selfish? Opinions, please.

Hi all,

I know you all love to give your opinions on things........and rightly so! So I would like yours now, please. And you can be as brutal as you like, I don't mind.

My neighbour in the next street has just got a new job around 15 miles from home, she drives there. It's a full time job as far as I'm aware, so I presume between 37/38 hours per week or thereabouts. It's a job that pays quite well. She was in a full time job before as well, so it's not a new thing.

She has a daughter of about 17 who is still at school, I think, and it's within walking distance of the house. She also has a husband who also works full time. I think he is out the house from about 6am.

In her new job, she has a few early shifts most weeks and leaves the house about 6.30ish, I think, though not exactly sure but it is around that time.

She has one Lhasa Apso and has asked my almost 76 year old grandfather if he would walk her dog in the mornings when she is on early shifts. And not just a pee in the garden, an actual walk so he can do a poo (he won't poo in the garden).

She smokes and I think has the occasional drink like many people, so not a problem.

Now, personally, I do not think she should be asking my granpa do commit to this on a regular basis (often irregular if you take in to account shift patterns). And, between the 3 adults in the household, surely one of them could take the dog out a short walk in the mornings for a poo walk?! Surely that's part of your duty of care to your dog?!

I specifically make sure that, if the weather's quite bad, that my granpa only takes the dogs out (or rather just Roxy if it's raining heavily....!) for a short walk or not at all (I walk them every day as well, obviously!) to ensure he's not out in the pouring rain and cold all the time.

Yes, my granpa is fit and well for his age and enjoys walking the dogs, but he doesn't adore the bad weather, same as everyone else, really! And he is still 76 and has been in remission from prostate cancer for a few years.

I don't have a problem with him seeing to other peoples dogs a few times a year, even one day a month if it came to it, but several times a week - no way.

She earns much more than me and if she can afford to smoke, then she can afford a reputable dog walker a few times a week, quite honestly! Considering it's going to be a regular thing, her first port of call should've been to look in to good dog walkers - I know of a couple myself, so she could've asked me - and went down that route.

I'm really quite annoyed at this as IMO she should not have asked an old man to commit to such a thing and my granpa has agreed to it because he's too soft at times! I know he's a grown man and can do it if he wants to, but I don't think he should be doing it! I don't want him out in all weathers in the middle of Winter, for example, walking other peoples dogs! For god's sake, get up half an hour earlier and deal with your own dog!

He would be walking him after 9ish. I work full time myself and my gran currently works 30 hours per week, although she's retiring at 70 years old next month.

Please let me know your thoughts on this and if I am being unreasonable, selfish or whatever!

Thanks.

a long post with many of your thoughts, but i cannot but help think should we not be hearing what your grandad thinks?

I agree with you-I think she's got a bit of a cheek!
If there is a 17 year old in the house surely she could walk a small dog? Or if not she should pay someone to walk it surely? Seems a bit much to expect someone to do this all the time on a voluntary basis, however old (or young) they are.

i know your only looking out for him..but at the end of the day its his choice

Yes, I think she's got a bit of a cheek too! I'm really not happy about this at all. He's an old man and I don't want him out in all weathers with other peoples dogs.

Yes, the 17 year old can walk she dog, she has done before! The dog is no trouble.

I think they should be taking responsibility for their own dog and his needs, quite frankly.

I don't know what they intend to do when my granpa goes on holiday or when he's busy with other commitments.

Yes, I'm aware of that as I said in my post.

TBH, I'd be fuming if my gradmother was asked to commit to walking someone else's dog. As a one off, fair enough althoughs he wouldn't be up for it physically.

But as you say, there are 3 adults int eh house. They can or should get up 30 minutes earlier to take the dog out for a half hour walk in teh morning. The 17 yr old can take the dog out after school/college, then one of the parents can take it out after work.

If teh woman works shifts then if she's on earlys then she'll be home early enough to walk teh dog mid afternoon most likely. If on lates, she'll be going into work late enough to get up normal time to walk the dog.

So I don't really see why they've asked your granddad. They shouldn't have.

This family, IMO, have a dog they can't be bothered with and if your granddad will do it then they won't have to pay someone. I'd suggest talking through how you feel with your granddad and let him know you think they are taking advantage of him. If this woman's new job is better paid they surely they can offer your granddad something for walking?

Have you not thought Nicola, that your grand-dad might actually like the opportunity of having "something to do" at his ripe old age? Afterall, he sounds a fit and healthy chap, along with his wife, and considering she works 30 hours a week, he might have said yes, because he might feel he has some sort of purpose in life again, in his ageing years. I know that will sound very odd to you, but believe me, when you've been "busy" all of your life, it does hit hard when you feel you're on the scrap heap in retirement, and I honestly feel it could well be the reason he's decided to comit.

Obviously, when the weather's cold and wet, he'll probably speak up for himself and say a firm "no", or it's getting too much for him in the winter months, and winter is a long way off yet, and he could even get fed up with it long before winter arrives!

I'm with your grand dad on this one I'm afraid, even though I'm well below his age, I've just reached retirement and now that I have my little holiday van to run, it does give me more of a purpose in life, gives me something to do and something to think about apart from just the home and the dogs, and maybe your grand dad feels the same with his new little "job" in life. You never know, he might even welcome his wages!

I hope that doesn't sound harsh Nicola, coz it's not meant to be, I'm just giving you my side of the story seeing as I'm of the older generation like he is. He's a big boy now, and although you obviously worry and care about him a lot, I'm sure your grandma will step in if she feels he's being overburdened, or he himself will stand up for himself if he feels it's getting too much.

A lot of people with dogs, don't want them going out with dog walkers, I know I wouldn't with either of mine, I'd much rather a one person thing like this for my dogs if I had the opportunity if needed, so that could be why she's chosen this route, or because it's much cheaper! Regarding her 17 year old, yes she's a lazy moo I agree with that, she probably lays in bed most of the day like a lot of them do at that age! You'd think she would have jumped at the opportunity of earning a bit of extra cash wouldn't you, or perish the thought, do it for free!!!

I hope that's given you some of the input you need, and I'm very sorry if I've upset you, which isn't my intention at ALL, you must know that - my sharp tongue was not intended for this post, I'll save that for another one lol!!!

I am furious, TBH, and he knows exactly how I feel tonight. They should be getting their backsides out their pits and walk their own dog in the mornings!

He's a 76 year old man with rheumatoid arthritis who has enough things to be getting on with as it is!

He doesn't need or want any money or anything for it.

Silly old fool that he is.

I do think it is a bit cheeky but at the end of the day, if your grandpa is happy to do it then that is up to him. I definitely agree with you though that if it were me in this position, I would be looking for a dog walker.

I also don't see why the teenage girl cannot take the dog out before school. Up until recently I was still attending college and managed to walk my dog before school most days. Unless she is having to travel miles away for school and is already getting up very early to catch a bus, I do not see why she cannot take the dog out for 15 minutes so that it can go to the toilet.