You're not selfish at all, your choice. I just haven't got the guts ! i guess its fear of the unknown as well after being with someone for such a long time, money and everything - i have a part-time job but i couldn't survive on that, i'd have to think about increasing my hours.

Glad its amicable, makes things less stressful, not sure my OH would be I wish you all the best for the future x

We're looking into our debts today. I actually have more than him! It's highly likely I will have to look at going bankrupt.

We reant our house so I will either get a housemate and have the lease changed or will will both leave and start again.

As for assets - we don't have any. Our car was given to us by my mum and is still in her name and when we set up home a lot of things were given by our parents so we're using that as a rule to who gets what.

I know we can't predict things getting messy and it probably is sensible to see a solicitor soon. I just have no money at all right now and that makes things hard.

Thanks.

It did take some serious guts to bring it up and I was amazed when he said he felt the same. I don't know if he really did or if it was a self preservation thing but if so he's coping very well.
There is a huge fear of the unknown but I'm trying to look on it all as a challenge. There's no doubt that some of it will be hard. Had a horrible night last night when I realised that if thongs don't work out with me getting a housemate I may not be able to keep the dogs. I never dreamed that in me and Adam not being together we would have a problem with the dogs but I can't stay with him just for them I've been more upset about that than about leaving him! I'll do what I can not to let it come to that though!

Debts and assets all need to be looked at and divided up fairly, even if you have more of one than the other. I'm not sure how legal aid works now since all the changes but it used to be that you would have qualified for legal aid. Have a chat with a solicitor who specialises in Family Law about the financial side of things.

Sorting out the divorce is easy once you have been separated for 2 years, I did mine myself on Quickydivorce.com. I also did my own Consent Order (for the finances) which you could do if you and your other half agree on how the debts should be split.

I know what you mean, my OH is saying the house will have to be sold and me and the kids will have to go into rented accomodation, therefore i won't be able to keep my dogs, i can't bear the thought of that. I'm going to look at my rights regarding the house. Hope you manage to sort things out x

If you have no assets at all that makes life easier to a certain extent, especially where the financial agreement for the divorce is concerned. We had a house, savings, shares, cars, pensions etc to deal with and still managed the whole thing amicably and without any assistance from solicitors, and while we're not thick nor are either of us financial whizzkids.
As for your debts if you go on to the national debtline website there is lots of info. sample letters etc. to send to your creditors and instructions on how to work out on a pro rata basis what you can afford to pay and it's all free, you can print out whatever you need. I recently did this to help out a friend who was struggling on her own with a child and was getting further and further into debt by paying whoever threatened the most. We sat down added up what she needed to live on and made offers to her creditors, 2 of which were accepted and 2 she has received no reply to but nor has any further action been taken. The offers to those 2 were incredibly low (under £2 a month). The highest offer made was under £10 a month for a debt of £3000 so it is possible to avoid bankruptcy which in itself cost around £400. Just don't offer more than you can afford and don't skint yourself in order to pay them either. Put realistic figures down and even offering nothing is acceptable if you have the figures to back it up. I would look at it as though your husband had already moved out and you were left to pay the rent etc, and your own bills. All the info is a bit mind blowing at first but it's realitively simple.