Looking for very special fosterer / rescue for a very special dog

Looking for very special fosterer / rescue for a very special dog

Background: we are a couple in our mid twenties who both work full time. We adopted two rescue dogs from the Dogs Home at the start of January, Benjy (a female Terrier x) and Thorn (a male Alsatian/Greyhound x). We booked off a couple of weeks to house train them and then working staggered hours so they are not normally left for more than 7 hours during the week. Benjy has settled brilliantly, and Thorn has settled into the immediate family of Mum, Dad and Benjy - neither of them have any separation issues.

Issue: the Dogs Home had assessed Thorn as nervous, and it took him a while to let Mike approach him, although he instantly fell in love with me. He seemed to be settling well for the first few weeks, but as soon as he became used to his new home his nervousness changed to defensive aggression, especially towards men and male dogs (he adores Benjy - our female Terrier x). We manage the issue with distraction training in the park, and by being calm and getting visitors to ignore and to throw treats - this has worked to some degree with females and certain family members, but over the last few weeks he seems to be getting increasingly stressed and now jumps up to bite (we have him muzzled when we have a visitor) even men who he previously met and seemed to accept. I am worried that this may have been exacerbated by his castration operation, which was supposed to help calm him but may in fact have increased his nerves and aggression.

Problem: whilst we both know what we should be doing to help Thorn overcome his nervousness we both work, so we feel we are letting him down commitment-wise. We cannot meet stooge dogs and stooge visitors as our families are not close, and based on previous visits, male friends will just not visit us since the ‘training’ is so stressful for everyone concerned. We have consulted with a trainer who visited us in our home and had planned to attend a training club, but have not yet felt confident enough to begin to try and teach Thorn socialisation based on bad experiences on walks (we only ever let him off lead when he is muzzled and there are no other dogs in sight). We are extremely upset by the situation we are in - we love Thorn to bits and would be really sad to give him up, but we both feel that we are not offering him the best chance of a happy and well adjusted life. We are getting married soon and plan to have children, which would change the situation from uncomfortable to dangerous. I know from previous posts both here and on Dog Pages that he will probably never get over his fears - they just have to be managed - and so we are making enquiries here to establish whether there are foster homes or specialist rescues which have the experience and time resources to help him find his best possible person - ideally a couple who live in the countryside and do not have children or many visitors, and who have the time to give Thorn the daily support and encouragement that he needs to relax into his surroundings and enjoy life a little more.

I have contacted the Dogs Home and talked through our experiences and they have said that they would do a home check for us, because I cannot bear to send him back into kennels - he was in a real state when we first adopted him - so terrified and very thin indeed, and not at all housetrained or used to tvs, radios etc - we think he was an outdoor dog He is perfectly housetrained now, and I have basic obedience trained him to sit, lie down, stay - heel with limited success - he tends not to listen on walks as he is on ‘high alert’ to danger everywhere…

To be honest, I would not feel comfortable sending him straight into another family based on the experiences we have had - we have tried so hard and have still come to this, so I would be very concerned that another family might end up having to go through all the emotions that we have and still end up in the same position. He is such a loving and affectionate dog with me and (although to a lesser degree) with Mike - I know he has potential to be happy with the right specialist support. Can anyone help?

My mobile number is 07843685105. It is on silent when I am at work, but I will ring back if you leave your number.

Thanks. Kate, Mike and Thorn.

Have pm'd you

Bump. Even if replies are of the nature that tell us we are unlikely to be able to find a foster home / specialist rescue for a dog with these problems, please let us know what you think. I have spoken with the Dogs Home again today, and they will take him back for reassesment and then will try and rehome him if he passes, but he really does need a special home - and if he's going to find it anywhere it will be here.

Update: We are all feeling much more relaxed and able to cope now than we were at the start of the week - only a few days, I know, but just writing things down and admitting how hard it is has given us a bit of mental breathing space. We had had a particularly stressful weekend with Thorn, but we are actually not looking to rehome him to a rescue anymore. We have thought deeply on the situation, and we realised we have made a lot of progress really since we adopted him - it's just very hard to keep feeling positive sometimes, especially when our friends and family are experiencing the loving and gentle dog we know as a terrifying and aggressive dog. We rang the vets and got details of David Appleby's behavioural clinic, and I have ordered more specialist books to read. I also re-read some posts I made before, both here and on Dog Pages, which made me remember the more positive state of mind in which I had previously posted - we are determined to do or best for Thorn - we are not ready to give up on him yet!

Would the moderator be kind enough to please remove this thread - unfortunately, I couldn't get into the 'Edit' function. Thanks.

I hope all goes well for you and Thorn! Keep us updated

Hi Kate, hadn't seen this before. Just to say that I admire you for perservering (sp) with Thorn. You obvously care an enormous amount - the length and detail of the posts clearly shows this. You can be sure that there is loads of support here Keep us posted on progress please, oh and photos - we need photos

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better about the situation sweetie - you're doing so well with him I'm sure it'll work out fine.
If you ever want to chat then just give me a call xx

Thanks for the supportive messages - much appreciated

Kate, Mike and Thorn (and Benjy! who sometimes gets a bit forgotten as she is such an angel :smt049 ).

I couldn't work out how to insert a big pic in the post, but there he is - in my avatar. He is very very beautiful, don't you think?

Thread closed as foster home/rescue no longer required