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Bodhi
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27-03-2006, 01:29 PM

Agility is a disease!

Found some random humerous stuff..

Agility is a disease!
According to the latest researches, Agility is a mental disorder that can be passed by air. It is interesting that pet dogs can have this disease as well. Moreover, they catch it as a result of communication with an infected owner. No cases of an owner being infected by a dog have been reported yet.

The most harmful symptom of Agility is anti-social behaviour of a sick person: he/she loses interest to his family, kids, work and villa and is painfully striving after communication with other people infected with Agility. In neglected cases, his/her arms and face may grow red, and the voice may become gruff.

The first cases of Agility were described in England at the end of the previous century. Very quickly, this disease spread all over Europe and a bit later - on the other continents as well. By now, there are practically no countries free from it. Unfortunately, Russia is not safe as well, although it is too early to speak about an epidemic. In our country, the number of infected people is not more than one case per 100 thousand, which is much less than in the USA, France, Germany or Latvia.

Unfortunately, the group of risk is rather vast - all dog owners, irrespectively of their sex, age and heredity. To prevent the disease, we can recommend you to minimise contacts with Agility people and avoid places where they gather. And of course you shouldn't try Agility with your dog - in this case, the chance to catch the disease is 100%!

The scientists haven't found a reliable treatment for Agility yet. Some of them, including Profesor Rudashevsky, say that it can't be cured completely. Several cases of recurrence after several months, or even years, of sham recovery have been reported. In any case, the sooner you consult a doctor the better.
Self-treatment is particularly dangerous.


Trying to take part in struggling with this "Plague of the 21st Century", we are publishing a test that will show you whether you are in danger. This test was worked out by a group of specialits from a social non-commercial anti-agility organisation Together and its reliability has been verified by scores of sick volunteers. Our advice is to check yourself immediately. You shouldn't be afraid, but you should know!

Can you agree with the following statements?

Please consult a doctor immediately if you can answer "Yes" to three or more staements!

1. You spend all your spare time, independently of the weather and season, among the like.

2. You don't know what to do during a weekend if there are no competitions or training sessions.

3. You become alert when you hear anything starting with "ag…".

4. Thinking through a course, sequence or an exercise, you miss your station or your street.

5. Sometimes you wave your hands and squat while walking along the street.
You have given up a good job, because it didn't leave time for training.

6. One dog is not enough for you.

7. Your secret or evident dream is a Border Collie (a second Border Collie).

8. You think that a video recorder is an addition to World Agility Championship tapes.

9. You relatives frequently see you watching your dog's run still by still.
After each failure at a competition you think: "That's enough! I give up"

10. You know you dog's time on the dogwalk exactly.

11. You can't watch show-jumping, it seems to you that horses are moving too slowly.

12. All of your relatives know what a cloth tunnel is, what the names of your national Agility officials are, and what the weaving wires are for.

13. You can hardly find a reason to miss a competition.

14. You can go to the world's end to spend a couple of minutes on the course.

15. You have tempted at least two persons into Agility.

16. Reading this list, you are trying to add something to it.



http://www.agility.ru/Tutti/e_Tutti.htm#
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Kicks
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27-03-2006, 01:42 PM
All true apart from 7 - do you think I have a problem?
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Kicks
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27-03-2006, 02:07 PM
You know you're well and truly hooked
When every weekend in the summer is booked
When even your annual holiday vacation
Has become another agility vocation.

You know when you've gone round the bend
When you get every schedule for which you can send
When you've spent every last penny and pound
On your not so good, but loveable hound.

You know when you've gone totally cuckoo
When the accommodation's a tent with an outside loo
When your feet are wet and your hands are cold
And your dog still will not do what it's told.

You know when you're out of your head
When at five in the morning you're out of your bed
When the odds of winning are 500 to 1
But you still carry on doing it 'just for fun.'

You know it's finally taken over your life
When you've covered the distance from London to Fife
When nothing will make you miss your agility session
And you've booked up every type of course and lesson.

You know when it has affected your brain
When you're standing in a field in the pouring rain
When your heart is beating and you're gasping for air
And you're covered in mud, and still don't care.

You know you are certifiably insane
When you study a course again and again
When you are willing to travel mile after mile
For one small rosette that still makes you smile!
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Sansorrella
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27-03-2006, 03:27 PM
Lol yes number 7 is the only one that doesn't apply to me too. Can't wait to get the equipment painted and start training again soon.
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Snorri the Priest
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27-03-2006, 03:33 PM
Already succumbed to number 7, but not the others, as yet, because my legs can't keep up with the Border Collies , but I've thought about it plenty!

Snorri
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Kicks
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27-03-2006, 03:34 PM
hey snorri man - agility is for everyone, I can't run that fast it just means putting work into distance control
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Snorri the Priest
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27-03-2006, 03:50 PM
Originally Posted by KickstartKelpies
hey snorri man - agility is for everyone, I can't run that fast it just means putting work into distance control
Worse than that, I'm getting to the stage where I can barely stand, and I'm having to consider the possibility of no more dogs after the current two, because I'm not sure that I will be able to look after them soon! I was OK when I got them first (used to do 10-mile hikes with them), but the poor guys are short-changed now

Snorri
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Bodhi
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27-03-2006, 04:26 PM
noo - not no more dogs.. just slower dogs
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Kicks
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27-03-2006, 04:41 PM
or older dogs that need a good home
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Gems
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28-03-2006, 05:26 PM
Yep thats me and OH !!!!
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