PANIC! Can anyone help us?

I am really panicky - I opened some letters this morning, one was for karl - but i htought I'd best open it as I knew it was from the uni - and thught it might need dealing with immediately. I was right.

Because I've had a lot of panic and rage attacks recently (well, the last two year anyway), Karl has stayed with me, stopping me from doing too much damage to myself and anything else. He has missed many lectures for me, and because times have been so hard, we are a bit behind in our work. I'm covered for this, by notes from the disability office etc... but Karls' letter this morning was from his head of department, who seemed very angry and official, nad was talking about karl not being able to complete his degree possibly, because of his behind-ness...

I'm really panicking... I just don't know what to do... if karl fails his degree it's all my fault... then everyone will hate me... and this degree is Karl's dream... his life ambition... how can I be so selfish as to take it off him? I just wish I knew what I could do...

xx

Don't be so hard on yourself, sit down with Karl and discuss the letter and see what can be done. All's not lost, try not to worry and I hope things get better xxx

talk to karl,work out a plan for him to catch up with it all.
speak to the uni and explain why hes behind and see if he can get a bit extra to help pull up with it all.
karl has been there for you by his own choice as well don't blame yourself for everything thats happened.
its only a letter and things can be sorted. above all else don't do any thing silly or karl will get more behind than he already is.
take care of yourself yes its a problem but problems can be sorted its just working out a plan.

Hi Ya

Speak to KArl and tell him to go to the counsellor at uni - tell him to explain why he is behind and get them to write a mitigating (sp) circumstances form to the head of his dept. He should be ok.

jx

thank you all... for once I have a clear head, and have no intention of dong anything silly - Karl will be worried enough as it is he doesn't need me adding to it. I will ask my counselour at the disability office if theres anything she can advise or do for him - and if all else fails, I will go to the doctors and get a doctors note for me - and ask if they can add an attachment saying that karl is my primary 'carer' ugh i hate that term.

Hopefully they will, though it'll set us back £30 meh.

xx

fingers crossed everything goes smoothly. Be kind to yourself, it's not your fault xx

Just stay calm Zoundz and do what you said, talk to Karl and sort it together.

First don't panic
My son got letters like that at uni because the idle toad liked to go clubbing and missed the lectures I am sure someone will have the lecture notes.
Karl can try telling the HOD about his problem and take the note you have as proof but most lecturers have heard it all before ...
Karl won't fail for getting a bit behind and should be able to repeat any failed modules,
Unis are not eager to fail people or chuck them out they need the fees and it reflects badly on them if students fail
The very worse that can usually happen is dropping a grade from say a 2-1 to a 2-2 and once you get that first job few people bother about the grades

hi, i was doing a degree but have dropped out for a while but there is something called extenuating circumstances that will allow extra time for assignments. i was able to access this as i am the primary carer for my son and i found it hard to keep up with the work load. most of all dont panic as things can be sorted.

hugs sue

thanks all. I am covered by various extenuating circumstances forms, but for Karl this isn't the case, as the illness is mine, not his.

The problem is it's not aboiut just missed lectures, that they don't mind - the problem is with missed coursework. It was a field trip that covered two modules that Karl missed - and so missed the write ups. If you fail this you fail the year. Karl needs to arrange an interview now with his HOD to discuss further action - basically that interview is the decider on whether he stays in Uni or not. Basically, if they won't accept the coursework late (likely) then Karl will fail two modules, which means he cannot pass his degree at all.

xx