When is it enough fun?

I don't really know whether I should do this thread, I speak to the guy on a different site to this (guess which one ), but don't want him to know I was talking bout him.

Theres a guy I met recently, since meeting him we have been flirty in person, text and fb messages, he knows some serious stuff bout me, I know some stuff bout him, and have spoke about his kids (hes a few years older then me, but only around five) its all been fun, and we have got to know each other, but he let it slip that he has a suspended sentence, and wont tell me why, only that he was drunk, I have a feeling that it was because some sort of violence because of his reaction when he is asked why he has it.

Now this guy from what I know is kind and caring and a great laugh, and everyone makes mistakes, but part of me is thinking to leave the way we are now, which tbh is only flirting from both sides and see what happens, or maybe carry on as we are and see what happens, I'm honestly at this point torn what do you think?

If he's so adamant he wont discuss it then it would ring alarm bells for me......what else does he not want to tell you?????

I have spoke to him this evening asking if he was embarassed and whether that was why he didn't want to say he said no, I asked whether it was really bad he said he just doesn't want to talk about it, but with other stuff it seems that he has been open with me, but with this it seems a no go area, and it makes me uncomfortable, because I know people who have done some things and have got away with it, but others who have been taken to court after fights, and one prisoned for doing what most decent people would do, but it back fired as the man attacking his wife had taken so many drugs and started trying to hit the other person, but one hit back the wife beater fell and hit his head, there is just so much it could be, and it could be his fault or not, but I really don't know about the whole secretive aura surrounding it.

It does sound a bit suspicious, but only because he won't say anything.
Maybe you need to lay it on the line and tell him that if he doesn't tell you it's not going to go any further.
I don't know about you but I'd ned to be able to completely trust someone and if they can't/aren't prepared to be honest from the start then it doesn't sound like there's hope long term that there will be honesty.
Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, sorry if I am. I'm a little abrupt about this after more than one relationship which seemed to be based around dishonesty on his part!

tbh if you're head is ringing alarm bells , go with it and walk away ... the only times ive ever had any trouble in my life is when ive ignored that little voice telling me somethings wrong

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh but I wouldn't have a relationship with someone who's capable of being violent. I've been there and done it and it's horrible.
He may seem kind and caring but someone kind doesn't get violent.
My ex-boyfriend was "kind and caring" too until I disagreed with him about something and then I saw his true colours.

This was my immediate reaction too.

If he won't be up front and honest with you, run in the opposite direction......

x0x

I'm going to be on the opposite side and say if you're only at the flirting stage then perhaps he's reluctant to tell you - either he doesn't feel comfortable at this point, or perhaps he's worried it will scare you off. I met my OH online and although we chatted loads right from the start, I had a big "thing" I didn't tell him initially - nothing I'd done wrong but not the kind of thing I was going to tell someone I hardly knew, I waited until we'd had a few dates and knew that it was going somewhere.
The fact that he's let you know about the sentence means he's not totally hiding it from you, so perhaps he wants to tell you but doesn't feel ready yet? People can change, it may take time and might not be a 100% change but they can. I went out with someone who'd lost their license through drink driving and part of me didn't like the fact I was going out with someone who could've taken that gamble, not just with his own life but with other people's, but he was totally honest about it and I'm pretty sure he regretted it big time.

do u know the area he lives in?? also his full name. if yes go onto his local paper web site and google his name and if what ever he did made the paper it will come up. if it didnt make the paper it was a serious crime.
but if u enjoy chatting to him carry on.

I would be very cautious until I knew what it is - and the fact that he's not telling you will probably make you think the worst - but on the other hand he did actually tell you there was something, so at least he's come clean about that.