Descriptive Sayings!

When I first got my PC and my son gave me lessons, I was none too clever with the mouse.
He would say I had as much dexterity as a dead badger
I have also heard of "as much use as a chocolate tea pot"
Do you know of any sayings that are odd but match the situation exactly?

You've got a snowball in hell's chance

Good one!

Just thought of another...

getting an answer from you is like pinning custard to a moving bus

As my dad says...

" computers will never replace good old fashioned human stupidity!"

"never trust an expert they dont have the foggiest!"


Not that desciptive Nippy sorry!!

As strange as a nine pound note

As dead as a Dodo!

As much good as a chocolate fireguard!

As mad as a bag of frogs!

As ugly as sin!

As silly as ar**holes! (ooops, best stop now )

as much use as a c*ck flavoured lollypop.
sorry for lowering the tone. I'll get my coat.

Oooooooooooooooh and there was I thinking I was naughty for "as silly as ar**holes"

I've never heard your naughty one before, but I may use it in future

I've heard lots of 'mad' ones. as mad as:
a box of rocks
a fish
a hatstand

as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.
and one from my Mum: as many brains as a frog has feathers.