Not everyone agrees with me but others have come up with useful ways to sort this out - something I and my OH can sit down and work on together .. I apologise if it seems that I only side with the ones that agree with me, but no one said I had to agree with the opinions that disagreed with me, did they? I've taken them into account, I've listened/read what you have put but telling me I'm being childish, selfish and not in a loving caring relationship is beyond comprehension as you don't even know me as a person -

I never said you were selfish or not in a lovign relationship, I commented on what you wrote, (the first post), I also pointed out like others did, that you have to allow him to make his own mind up,

the immaturity comment was directed to you saying , you are going to go out and enjoy yourself, because he looked at other woman when you go out.


only what I let you know and tbh apart from this hiccup - we are very happy together, thank you very much. I have explained why he can't afford it

Not in your first post, you did not, you stated he was not having it because you wont let him


and I have even gone through all the income and outgoings which show that if he takes all practicality out of what he needs in a car to get to and from Bulford then he can afford it and he'll spend more money getting to and from or going on the train. But if he has this car and the scenic he can still afford it, yet won't have much left to enjoy it.. but again I must be the only person to get upset over something their OH has done. He asked my opinion and I gave it and he even told his Dad the other week he couldn't afford it and now he has decided he can again.

Your posts did not give the impression you simply gave him your opinion, on more than one occasion, you stated........ he is not having it... thats telling him, not giving an opinion.

I actually think I am making a mature decision by telling him he cannot afford it now -


If that's what you did , I would agree, but that's not the way your posts came across, they can across as you dictating what he can and cant do.

although I would love to use the words "I told you so" no matter how childish that is I don't want to have to go there because I would rather he wait a couple of years.. in this day and age you can't have everything you want, when you want it.. see Rolomums post..



you can if you can afford it, and for a 25 yr old who is working, then he may well see it differently.

And that was my point about , this being more than just about a car,

I'm sorry if me not agreeing with your opinions doesn't agree with you but the last time I checked, I posted, I've listened and as always with forums I can decide for myself what goes in what ear and stays there and what goes out the other one..

Its a man thing, they have no common sense! (well most don't I'm sure their are a few exceptions).

i have boys not much younger than your o / h , both at uni , both drive sports cars , they have eventually come round to the thinking that they aren`t really practical , in life you have to make your own mistakes , or you never learn
i know my boys would not stand for being told no by a woman , they are grown up men , quite capable of making their own decisions , if they got into heavy debt , that`s their problem , no one elses , if he wants the car , let him have it , just make sure when it`s financed that it is in no way attached to you , so when / if he falls knee deep in debt it`s not you they come knocking for

Not everyone agrees with me but others have come up with useful ways to sort this out - something I and my OH can sit down and work on together .. I apologise if it seems that I only side with the ones that agree with me, but no one said I had to agree with the opinions that disagreed with me, did they? I've taken them into account, I've listened/read what you have put but telling me I'm being childish, selfish and not in a loving caring relationship is beyond comprehension as you don't even know me as a person - only what I let you know and tbh apart from this hiccup - we are very happy together, thank you very much. I have explained why he can't afford it and I have even gone through all the income and outgoings which show that if he takes all practicality out of what he needs in a car to get to and from Bulford then he can afford it and he'll spend more money getting to and from or going on the train. But if he has this car and the scenic he can still afford it, yet won't have much left to enjoy it.. but again I must be the only person to get upset over something their OH has done. He asked my opinion and I gave it and he even told his Dad the other week he couldn't afford it and now he has decided he can again.

I actually think I am making a mature decision by telling him he cannot afford it now - because although I would love to use the words "I told you so" no matter how childish that is I don't want to have to go there because I would rather he wait a couple of years.. in this day and age you can't have everything you want, when you want it.. see Rolomums post..

I'm sorry if me not agreeing with your opinions doesn't agree with you but the last time I checked, I posted, I've listened and as always with forums I can decide for myself what goes in what ear and stays there and what goes out the other one..

Of course you can, as can your OH if you keep nagging him and trying to control him. He isn't a small child and you aren't his mother.

How is she trying to control and mother him by pointing out that spending a fortune on an impractical car when they can't afford it isn't a good idea?

Why feel sorry for him? He is in a relationship with the OP, he has responsibilities. What would happen if Aimmee wasn't concerned & further down the line he couldn't afford the car loan repayments? Its called being concerned & planning for the future where I come from. All very sensible. Why can't he wait until Aimmee finds a job & take it from there instead of diving straight in at the deep end.