Last year I dropped my brother home after he spent the weekend in Chelmsford with me... I rang the doorbell and took a step away from the door, my dad opened the door let my brother in mumbled "You can go now", shut the door in my face and walked off.

If I die I have said I don't want my dad to be at my funeral, not do I want to go to his. If he can't grow up and put things aside to move on, then I am going to continue to lead my life with or without him in it.

Its so hurtful

I get frustrated with myself TBH for being so available when she needs a shoulder to moan on, because Im there for her everytime, as soon as my sister adds her wooden spoon Im out of favour again.

seems being older,wiser,bigger,uglier,stronger....still doesn't stop me from getting my fingers rapped.....but this time its all gone on too long and too many times. So like you I am leading my OWN life for a change and I feel so much better with my decision asking your opinions.......thank you

I was like that when I was around 14/15... Then once I was living away from home, it was like a light came on in my head and though to myself "what the **** am I doing?!".

If I want to work with animals - I will, if I want to spend my money on the animals - I will; even if that means I earn peanuts for the rest of my life in order to be happy, if I make mistakes in life I will have to learn from them and not be put down or patronised by my dad or anyone else.

I still have melt downs and moments of "have I done the right thing", but I AM happy the happiest I have been in 20 years! I have a wonderful pony who has been with me since not long after my mum died, a wonderful OH who really has been my rock over the last 2 years giving me a push in the right direction to cut ties with my dad and help me create a new life for me and him, but picking me up when things go wrong, and I am now living by the sea and one step closer to living "my dream", and have permisson by OH to have as many animals as I like when we buy a place.

As for my dad he is earning ££££££ stuck in a job he hates, a 6 bed house with rarely 3 people living in it, living in a whats now becoming a bad area, with various health problems due to stress by his job, with not many friends. He hates animals, and dislikes people with animals... so really I was brough up in the wrong household! (My mum liked animals, but had allergies to many of them, and my dad said no to many while they were together, and after they seperated her place was too small for pets )

Im so pleased for you..........my family don't dislike dogs, but they are not too keen of anything else ie cats etc., and Yes I do come under the ''nutty loopy one'' as I have 5 dogs, 4 cats, rabbit guineapig and chickens.....Im the ''gypsy'' of the family with the ''don't know who she belongs too title Oh well a happy gypsy I am too

Just been listening to YouMeAtSix Lyrics off one of their songs:

"You keep me on the edge of my seat,
I bite my tongue so you don't hear me,
I wanna hate every part of you with me,
I can't hate the ones who made me"

Something I can relate to only a few years ago.

Only just seen this thread

You seriously are 'One in a million' Steph *Hugs*

Look after yourself.............

Love ya! xx

Thanks hun xxxxxxx

I have deliberately NOT phoned Mom for weeks now ....and guess what she hasn't rang me once to see if Im ok......well actions speak volumes

I have to say reading some of these stories makes me glad I didn't know my Grandma. My Mum's mum and most of her sisters (she has 7) blamed my Mum for my Granddads death, she left home at 18 to be with my Dad of whom my Grandma didn't approve. My Granddad died shortly after having a heart attack whilst being on a ladder. And as it was perfect timing, my Mum got blamed. I don't think she went to the funeral but I haven't heard much of my Granddad. She still talked to a couple of her sisters and her 2 brothers. She rang her Mum when my Brother and Sister were born, then when I was born she did the same, told her they had a girl, what I weighed, what they were going to call me; Grandma's reply "I don't care what you call it, what it weighs or nothing" then slammed the phone down, Mum never called her about Nicole. Grandma even went through with her holiday to China when my cousin (that I didn't know - lived in Scotland) died aged 18 by swallowing her tongue in her sleep, the funeral was arranged for 2 weeks but it fell on a day she was in China.

Then Mum's eldest sister and her best friend, link to the rest of the family, died in 2004 aged 55. She was the only one of the family I knew about. The only one who visited and invited us to Cumbria. At her funeral we met Grandma, we didn't talk, although my Dad went up to her and said "Do you remember me? I'm Alan and they're your Grandchildren that you didn't want to know" She looked at us and at him then walked off..

Anyway Steph, that's the only time she was in my life, I was never wanted by her and my Mum made up for it as you have with your sons. You have family and friends that love you, why need inheritance when your life is as rich as it could be?

x x x

Steph,

I don't know if this will make any difference but thought I'd share it anyway...........

About 5 years ago whislt at Uni one of my Lecturers had a friend who had died. She had a few days off work as compassionate leave. Had it been a relative of hers that had died she'd have been given up to 3 weeks compassionate leave.

She told me at the time (became quite good friends with most of my lecturers as I was there so long) that she thought more of this friend than some of her relatives and was upset that she could only have a few days off.

I suppose my point is that you have many friends (and I imagine some relatives) who love you to bits. We can't decide who we're related to biologically but many people now have friends who are not relatives who are more like family than those they're related to biologically.

Live YOUR life as YOU want to. Surround yourself with people YOU care about and who care about YOU. Anyone else isn't worth getting upset over.

Laura xx