Annoyed with my sister

As some of you may know, my Mother who is 87 yrs young..had a fall on 6th June, which had to be treated at hospital, her arm has 12 butterfly sutres and the bruising to her head is just going down. A District Nurse is coming in every other day to change dressings and it will be weeks before Mom can use her arm fully, plus she is in a lot of pain with it at the moment.
On the day the accident happened, my sister rang me and told me that her Husband had taken photo's of the missing slab which mom fell over, there was no warnings left out by the council to say it was missing and that it had been like that for weeks. I suggested that they rang a claims company to see if Mom could claim anything as she had been badly hurt, which my sister agreed to doing.
Yesterday, I happened to ask Mom if anyone had been in touch with her, 'Oh! no, Ann say's not to bother, as even if I won I would have thousands to pay towards the costs' I spent quite a time trying to explain how it works but as I am sure you will be aware a 87yr Old doesn't always understand how these things work. So I gave Mom a number to give to my sister to ring (as they are in Lincoln and I'm in Birmingham) to make enqiries.
Just spoken to Mom again today to see how things are, and she has told me that when she saw my sister yesterday, my sister refused to make any calls on her behalf as she doesn't want to get involved
I admit my sister lost her job a number of years ago, and at the time went to a independant Solicitor to see if she could get the firm done, they went ahead and she lost, but there were a number of ?????? marks about her behaviour at work surrounding her performance with work load etc., and she ended up having to pay the Solicitor his costs. Which we all know would of been the case.
She is so bitter about Solicitors now that she has given my Mom a load of worry over making a claim, by telling her that once she gets any money they will send her an invoice for twice as much back....which my Mom panicked over and said 'ok I'll leave it then'
I've taken it up on her behalf, now Mom is worrying becuase Ann is annoyed that she is going ahead with it.
I've just spoken to my sister and asked her for the photo's of the missing slab, which the Claims people want...she's just said, Yes I'll send them to you...if I can get the film developed as I am very busy at the moment I really don't understand my sister at all, I am struggling to understand why she is being like this.
All she talks about is her dog.......which is her absolute life....and how hard things are for them.
Bearing in mind they have a huge bungalow, no morgage, she is retired and he has a little job at the garden centre.
They own such a beautiful place and yet Mom is in the next village in a council bungalow which is a quarter of the size of my sister's, they only take her shopping on a Friday, and see her Monday night (well my sister does as her husabnd is a the pub) and that's it. Mom pays them £25.00 per week for that.
I am so angry but Mom is so dependant on them for shopping and company. The rest of the week Mom is on her own doing her own housework, gardening etc., I wish Mom had never left Birmingham 6 years ago to live near them, but at the time they really encouraged her to do so. Now I think they are fed up with her with regards to having to put up with her heart probs, falls etc., Mom can not move back here as she couldn't take the stress. I feel so frusrated.
Mom has said ....'I want you to go ahead with the claim, but Ann is so angry about it'.........why?????????????????

arrrrghhhhh family!! hope it works out hun!

Just one question Steph - why does your mum have to PAY them to take her shopping and see her on a Monday????? She's her daughter isn't she???? I can't believe that, I honestly can't! You wouldn't charge your Mom to take her shopping or go and see her every Monday would you???? Maybe it's me then

She can't be a*sed to take up that claim, maybe a bit of it is down to her previous experience with her solicitor, but quite honestly, sadly, I think you might be right in what you say!

I just find that unbelievable that she has to pay them to take her shopping, unless you mean she gives them that for her shopping? I hope so!

Oh" H iwish I did mean that she gives then towards shopping ....but sadly NO, she pays them £25.00 to look after her ie, shopping,getting her pension (there is no post office in mom's village) and going up on Monday night...7.30 til 9.30 and can I add....it was only upto last year that she used to pay them £50 per week
which stopped because I found out and blew my top.

To give to an insight...6 years ago Mom lived here in Brum, she was having trouble with some kids from up the road, I spoke to the Mother a few times but just got abuse...which I gave her back in the end (but that's another story) anyway Ann and Malcolm had gone to live in Lincoln, after she lost her case for unfair dismissial, they sold up and bought a most beautiful detached bungalow with the most beautiful grounds. We were all really really happy for her, but she kept telling mom 'You should live her mother, it's wondeful etc' and that's just wahat happened, Mom put in for a transfer, got a place in the next villiage and off she went.
Both my sis and husband seemed very happy with the arrangement, but back then mom was full of life in health and other ways.
Over the years Mom has parted with much money...helping them out, feeling sorry for them, etc., as I have said my sister's situation is healthier than most, no morgage etc., but there have been occassions where they have had a pipe burst or a carpet wrecked etc., telling Mom the insurance refuse to pay out.......Mom has been forking out to them for that....this is annoying as Mom feels she is helping I feel that they take the pi$$.
Finally I have now got mom to stop doing all this......and believe me that took some doing.

Now she is frailier and having heart problems, plus falls, I'm having the'''''''No-one knows what a lot of stress I'm getting with looking after Mom'''''' I see people like you Helen having your mountain of problems with your parents but still managing a smile. I've had Mom here on a number of occassions to stay with us, Ann NOT ONCE rings to see how she is.....me I always ring her and Mom every other day.

Ok she had a bad experience, but why try to stop Mom from looking into it, she doesn't even want Mom to spend money on her place.....Pat thinks that it's because they are wondering '''how much will be left when she's gone'''' could this be the reason.....

This was my reaction.

Thanks God you can choose your friends......

Hugs Stephanie x0x0x

Whats that old saying Vicki.....you can choose your friends, but you can not choose your family..........

Thanks hun xxxxxxxx

o steph
why dont you approach a (no win no fee solicitor ) he will only take his cut ,once the claim is sorted . it will be long winded but he will do it all for you ,and of caurse it is in his best interest to win . i do know of someone who did sue ,a very large company ,elderly lady she had a fall the same ,she took it to a family solicitor ,he handled every think ,on a no win no fee ,basis .he did tell her that .... its very difficult to sue a large company ,ie they have there own leagle people ,who usually very good on there side he did win though ,took awhile ,but it got sorted in the end good luck ( for got to say the lady in question had to have skin graft )

OMG i read it the way that she gives them that TOWRDS her shopping!

they actually CHARGE HER?????

thatas downright disgusting!!!!

I could well understand this thinking.........


Snorri

I thought these "NWNF" solicitors took their costs off the defence when they won?

Snorri