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Location: Manchester
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 8,479
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03-09-2007, 08:54 PM
Aussie Jokes.
What should you do if an Aussie throws a grenade at you ?Pull the pin and throw it back.
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There's a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a
shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.
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An Australian goes to buy a condom at a nearby chemist.
The lady behind the counter gives a choice of three types. German, French, and Australian.
"What's the difference," he asks?
"Well, the Germans are quite active. They have 7 in the pack. One for Monday, one for Tuesday, and so on." "The French are very passionate people. They have 8. One for Monday, and so on, and 2 on Sundays." "The Australians, well, they have 12."
At this, the Australian swells up with pride, Really 12?
"Yes, 12. One for January, one for February...."
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Aussie Love song
Of Course I Love Ya Darling
Your A Bloody Top Notch Bird
And When I Say Your Gorgeous
I Mean Every Single Word
So Ya Bum Is On The Big Side
I Dont Mind A Bit Of Flab
It Means That When I'm Ready
Theres Somethin There To Grab
So Your Belly Isnt Flat No More
I Tell Ya, I Dont Care
So Long As When I Cuddle Ya
I Can Get My Arms Around There
No Sheila Who Is Your Age
Has Nice Round Perky Breasts
They Just Gave Into Gravity
But I Know Ya Did Ya Best
Im Tellin Ya The Truth Now
I Never Tell Ya Lies
I Think Its Very Sexy
That Youv Got Dimples On Ya Thighs
I Swear On Me Nannas Grave Now
The Moment That We Met
I Thought U Was As Good As
I Was Ever Gonna Get
No Matter Wot U Look Like
Ill Always Love Ya Dear
Now Shut Up While The Footys On
And Get Me Another Beer!
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Location: Australia
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 178
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Location: Co. Durham, UK
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 11,213
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Location: away with the bullies
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,188
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05-09-2007, 01:03 AM
Originally Posted by Stormey 
What should you do if an Aussie throws a grenade at you ?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
---------------------------------------------------------
There's a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a
shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.
---------------------------------------------------------
An Australian goes to buy a condom at a nearby chemist.
The lady behind the counter gives a choice of three types. German, French, and Australian.
"What's the difference," he asks?
"Well, the Germans are quite active. They have 7 in the pack. One for Monday, one for Tuesday, and so on." "The French are very passionate people. They have 8. One for Monday, and so on, and 2 on Sundays." "The Australians, well, they have 12."
At this, the Australian swells up with pride, Really 12?
"Yes, 12. One for January, one for February...."
---------------------------------------------------------
Aussie Love song
Of Course I Love Ya Darling
Your A Bloody Top Notch Bird
And When I Say Your Gorgeous
I Mean Every Single Word
So Ya Bum Is On The Big Side
I Dont Mind A Bit Of Flab
It Means That When I'm Ready
Theres Somethin There To Grab
So Your Belly Isnt Flat No More
I Tell Ya, I Dont Care
So Long As When I Cuddle Ya
I Can Get My Arms Around There
No Sheila Who Is Your Age
Has Nice Round Perky Breasts
They Just Gave Into Gravity
But I Know Ya Did Ya Best
Im Tellin Ya The Truth Now
I Never Tell Ya Lies
I Think Its Very Sexy
That Youv Got Dimples On Ya Thighs
I Swear On Me Nannas Grave Now
The Moment That We Met
I Thought U Was As Good As
I Was Ever Gonna Get
No Matter Wot U Look Like
Ill Always Love Ya Dear
Now Shut Up While The Footys On
And Get Me Another Beer!
ps you got that right about the 12
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Location: Central Scotland
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 353
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