Jokes for DK and ZB (irish ones)

Here you go, I hope someone makes some jokes about the english soon as I am feeling guilty.

What's the definition of an Irish cocktail?
A pint of Guinness with a potatoe in it.


An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins.
Her Husband demanded to know who the other man was.


Why did the Irishman fall out the window?
He was ironing the curtain.


How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.

A Horse walks into a bar, orders a Guinness, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper.

The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the Guinness, and brings it over to the horse, who proffers a ten euro bill for it.

Now the barman figures the horse isn't that bright, so he decides to pull the old 'short-change' trick on him.

He duly goes back to the horse with 1 euro. The horse doesn't say a word.

The horse eventually finishes his Guinness and goes up to the bar to order another.

The bartender says to him, "Y'know, we don't get many horses in here."

To which the horse replies, "At nine euros a pint, I'm not surprised!"

:smt005 :smt005 :smt037 :smt038 :smt038 :smt043 :smt043 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 think that says it all fantastic im literally PMSL XXDK

Well I think this is awful!!

There are much better Irish jokes out there than these

xxxdk

Sorry Are these better

A farmer bought two horses. But when he got them home, he couldn't remember which was which.

While having a drink in the local he mentioned the fact to a friend. The friend suggested he cut half the tail off one of them, then he could tell them apart.

This worked great until the other horse got it's tail caught in a bush and it tore off just right and the farmer was stump again, not knowing which was which.

Down at the local the farmer told his friend what had happened, His friend said "Why don't you measure the horses and see if there is any difference in their height".

So the farmer measured the horses and was over the moon when he found that the white horse was two inches tall than the black horse

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Two Irish lads, Paddy and Mick have been to the pub, they are staggering home and have no money for a taxi.

The past the bus depot and Paddy comes up with a plan, he says to Mick "jump over the wall and go and steal and bus and we can drive it home"

Mick duly breaks into the bus depot and is gone for ages, Paddy is pacing around outside getting really anxious and he calls into Mick "what are you doing?"

Mick shouts back "I can't find a number seven bus, I can only find a number five which doesn't go up our street"

Paddy shouts back "s'okay steal the number five and we can get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way home"

LMAO AGAIN xxdk

Paddy bought a paper shop

It blew away......

stupid paddy think he would have realised that ,vicki after he build his house out of cards lol xxdk

very good xx

some of the Irish jokes are the best:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005