This thread has had me ROFL

I met a man with 2 little girls and a puppy at the weekend. I said 'Is she a lurcher?'

He said 'No, she's a collie crossed with a whippet'

Yeah, that'll be a lurcher then !!!!!!! As we walked away my OH said - 'It's not a lurcher, it's a Wollie'

lol, no it's a lurcher AND a wally!

I find that when this happens, a strange sensation comes over me, and the poo I am carrying flies out of my hand (and poo bag) and towards the back of the offending invisible dog owner.........

Thikipaedia: Recreational Activities (Volume 2)

There are many sports and other activities you can enjoy with your dog. These include:

Canicross: what you do is, you take your dogs up the cycle path and watch them b*ggers go! Great excercise for your dog and right larf watching all them Lycra Loonies speed up when they`re given a bit of motivation like. You might want to get your mate to grab your dog at the end of the path like cos you don`t want to be runnin in them Reeboks.

Agility: This is when you`re of an evenin goin about yer business, and you have to leggit across the back gardens cos some old girl wakes up as you`re going out the winder wiv `er plasma screen and they get them police dogs in.

Dancing with Dogs: that`d be our local disco, hur, hur, hur.

you need to be on stage.

i'm going to be in trouble for spitting my coffee over the PC.

(dont stop tho' this is cheering me up no end)

Thikipaedia: Recreational Activities (Volume 3)

Field Trials - negotiating muddy puddles, electric fencing and barbed wire whilst trying to stop 3 dogs hoolying after the phesents

Recreational activities continued

Biking - Teaching or letting your dog chase cyclists

Road running - Allowing your dog to chase cars or other dogs along or across roads

Window tennis - Usually small dogs, inddor sport, let your small dog leap onto the windowsill then yap and scrabble to and fro like watching a manic game of tennis at passers by. A great activity for a rainy day.

Swing dog - A great one for the kids. Teather your dog to a stake in the middle of your garden. Encourage your children to taunt and thow things just out of his reach, round and round in circles, see if he manages to maul any of the children before his leash get too short. (Staffies are best for this, but any of them 'ard dogs will do).

Face Dahn - An ever popular game among 'the youffs'. Get your well ard dog (Pitbulls are best, Rottweillers make you look well tuff but some are too thick to look proper scary, Staffies will do or them staffie crosses from off of your mate from wen his dog like got wiv that other dog). You will need the biggest 'ardest 'Arness' that you can afford. Now point your dogs at each other and get 'em to look as well 'ard as you can. You can also use this game to teach 'Get 'im' same game as 'face dahn', but to people instead of uvver dogs

I want to do one even though they have been done

Lurchers/longdogs.
There is no longdog, they are all classed as Lurchers, anyone with a longdog is just trying to hide what they are as they don't want to admit that they have dogs that are a danger to anything smaller then them.

Should never be let off lead, they will never come back, and kill everything that they see, even smaller dogs without a second thought, they should also never be allowed within ten foot of a small dog, as they might also eat them, and its always their fault if this does happen, even if they are on a lead and the other dog isn't, as they are all Gyspy dogs and mostly all stolen from one lot of gyspies, by another lot so are all unsound.

They are never fed enough food, and thats why their all skin and bone, and this helps with the small dog eating, again never let any small dogs within 10 ft of them, unless you want them eaten (its true, I have a pair and they have eaten many of them ).

They all need to excercise all day to release all of their energy, other wise they will be more excitable then normal, and you don't want a fast dog like that running around your house, which they do all day, they are like excitable puppies and they never stop or lay down from dawn to dusk, defiantly not the type of dog that you want if you want a relaxed calm indoor dog, its why the rescues are full of them, that and they are a danger to everything that moves.

Malamute is just a posh name for a big husky. The only difference apart from the size is that Malamutes aren't blind. They are all exactly like wolves and will eat any other dog or person who dares approach them. They should be in zoos or pulling sleds, definitely NOT kept as pets.