New Human Disease (subject related)

New Human Disease...Latest Alert From Cornell University

We have identified a new disease, probably caused by a virus among dog-owning people. It apparently has been in existence for a considerable time, but only recently has anyone identified this disease and begun to study it. We call it Acquired Canine Obsessive Syndrome (ACOS). At first, ACOS was considered to by psychological in nature, but after two young researchers here suddenly decided to become show breeders, we realized that we are dealing with an infectious agent. Epidemiologists have identified three stages of this disease and typical symptoms, listed below:

Stage 1 - You have early symptoms if

You think that any show within 300 miles in nearby
You begin to enjoy getting up at 5 AM to walk and feed dogs
It is fun for you to spend several hours a day grooming dogs
You think you're being frugal if you spend less that $3,000 a year on shows
You can't remember what it was like to have just one dog
Stage 2 - You definitely have the disease if:

Your most important factor when buying a car is how many crates you can fit in it
When looking for a new home, the first thing you consider is how many dogs you can kennel on the property
Your dog food bill is higher than your family's grocery bill
You spend as much on veterinarians as you do on doctors
You have no money because of showing dogs
You have to buy more than one vehicle a year, because you keep burning out the 7-year or 70,000 mile warranty going to shows
You have more pictures of your dogs than of your family
Your idea of a fun vacation is to hit the show circuit
Most of your conversations revolve around dogs
Stage 3 - You have a terminal case if:

You wake up in the morning to find out that you put the kids in the crates and the dogs in the beds last night
You know each dog's name and pedigree, but can't figure out who that stranger in the house is; it turns out to be your spouse
Your neighbors keep insisting that those kids running around your house bothering the dogs are yours
You keep telling the kids to "heel" and can't understand why they won't, and why they keep objecting to the choke chain
You cash in the kid's college trust fund to campaign the dogs
You've been on the road showing dogs so long you can't remember where you live
Your family tells you "It's either the dogs or us;" you choose the dogs
Do you have this dreaded disease? Well, there is hope. In the course of our research, we have found that most cases seem to stop at Stage 2, and remain chronic. We have, with great difficulty, managed to acquire several Stage 3 ACOS patients. They are currently in our isolation wards, where we are studying them to gain a better understanding of this disease. It is a sad sight, seeing these formerly vibrant people as they shuffle around their rooms in endless triangle or L-patterns, making odd hand motions as if holding a lead and baiting a dog, and making chirping noises. Merely saying the word " Westminster " can send them into an uncontrollable frenzy. Unfortunately, there isn't much hope for these cases, but with time and research to further understand this disease, we hope to come up with a cure. We are no attempting to isolate the causative agent and may be able to develop a vaccine in the future. An interesting sidelight of this disease seems to be that exposure at an early age has an immunizing effect. Several people afflicted with ACOS at Stage 1 and Stage 2 have close family members (children/spouses) who have absolutely no disease. It is thought by some of our researchers that this may be due to environmental effects, to an age-related immune function, or to the fact that those with the disease tend not to associate with their close family members, possibly due to the memory deficit induced by the disease - that is, they don't remember they have close family members!

What can you do to prevent this disease? Until a cure is found, prevention is the best measure. Avoid kennels advertising "show stock," since it may be the dogs that are the carriers of the disease. Leave town when there is a local show. If you inadvertently come into contact with an ACOS-afflicted person, leave as soon as possible (they do tend to cling) and thoroughly shower, preferably with a germicidal soap. If you are living with an ACOS sufferer, take comfort that if you haven't succumbed yet, you are probably safe.

Oh god, I have this i hope its not terminal, although It must be contagious half my friends have it as well.

My partner says i have stage 2 of this as recently when we bought a new car i checked first to see if there was enough room for the dogs and the show gear

My o/h and I have it too, some of our friends who don't show thought we were just dog crazy but now I can tell them it has it a proper name. All our other friends who do show are at various stages of this new Human Disease so they too can now be told that what they are suffering from now has a name. Thanks Jeanette

I have it as well, it's the modern day plague.

Oh dear its not just me then!!!!