Leanne
Thanks for responding. Depression is serious and hard to live with. There are things that can help him if he wants to. I understand your reluctance to not upset the apple cart if self-harm has been on the menu. However, if he is not profoundly depressed right now then it is a suitable moment to intervene.
As for a different approach to dog training, you are kidding only yourself. Be strong, advocate for the dog and tell him straight it will not do.

.
Along with , why are you still with someone who is so violent.



I have to agree with the above, OK, we are all disgusted with the behaviour of this man, and its seems from many have just simply judged Leanne for standing by and watching.

As Ramble says, walk a mile in someone else's shoes, before you judge.

Leanne , I guess you are reeling a little from the reaction you got from this thread,(as you have not come back on) and I hope you can see why all of us are a little taken aback by you not acting on it.

But again as Rambe says , sometimes its not so simple, when we sit here and read, its easy to judge and say.........I would never do that or allow this!! I am sure we all feel we would do the right thing, at the right time, but other factors may play a part in what we do or simply it may be such a shock at the time, you are numb in reacting.


Although , as you say , this is not the first time he has done this, as you say you usually stand by and be quiet........why is that, are you frightened of this man, has he a history of violence to animals or people,

I can only say , "if! this is normal for him, and you are becoming used to it, then you need to get out now... statistics show, violent people don't stop with animals, they move on to their loved ones.... if you can end this relationship now do so, before you get in to deep.

I am giving you the benefit of doubt here... and assuming there is more to you not being able to stop him, if I am wrong and you just stand by every time he is violent to his dog , then I will join in with the others in condemning you as much as him.

Lets hope its not , get out now, and find yourself someone who is kind to animals..... like breeds like, and you can tell a lot by a person , on how hes/she respects (or not ) other living things in life.

This absolutely sums it up for me. One other point, a "mild mannered person" doesnt beat dogs.

Sadly Dawn mild mannered people do beat up dogs and other people... Just because people are quiet and mild the majority of the time doesn't mean they can't do atrocious things occasionally. I know a couple of people who have been described to me as 'mild mannered' when I have seen the tip side of their personality that is anything but. I do see your point, but I also see where Leanne is coming from on that one totally, especially as she says he OH has depression...

Leanne, if your expressing your opinion to you OH 'falls on deaf ears ' why do you continue to take your dogs out with him ? To me this gives the impression that although you disagree with him you are still prepared to accept his behaviour which is not going to help him or the poor dog.

You may be younger than he is and he may have had more dogs but that is beside the point, you are an adult and as such are surely capable of making your feelings know. I would make it quite clear to this man that you are not prepared to accept his behaviour and that it stops right now. If he treats Millie that way when you are around knowing how you feel how do you think he treats her when you are not around? He could have killed the poor dog then where would he be.

I think he also needs to see someone about getting help with the underlaying problem which makes it difficult for him to control his temper.

No it wont, but the question you need to ask yourself is this.....can you stand by as your relationship grows, and watch his violent treatment towards his dogs???


Depression is a terrible thing Leanne , but that still does not excuse how he disciplines his dogs....be sure of one thing, if he does that in public, he will do that in private.

So again, the question will be .....can you live with some one who takes his anger/feelings out in such a way on other living things.

If things progress, and you live together, be careful the anger does not turn to you..

Yep. I agree. Totally.
Please be careful with this Leanne. He may be meek and mild with you so far,but truly...be careful.

Oh my good god!

Why are you with a man that acts so cruelly to animals?!?!?!?!! By witnessing it and not reporting it, you could be regarded as bad as he is!

I really hate such unnecessary training, it is so outdated. Yes dogs like to work, but if they aren't really very good at it or don't get the satisfaction, try them on something else. It isn't a necessity for survival in modern day society!

Sick!

I understand totally where you are coming form Leanne.

But there is a but in this I suffer from depression and it has been very bad in the past I could cheerfully when I was younger and my boys were younger of thrown them through a window for crunching their cereal too loudly, but I didn't I went to the Dr and got some help.

I have never ever beaten my children or my animals when I have been in this state, I have taken advice from loved ones and got help I have never had counseling but have often been on anti depressants.

My younger son suffers worse than I do he did have counseling, but has never laid a finger on the animals or anyone else and I would happily leave him in charge of Ollie if needed.

He now also goes to the gym and does a lot exercise to vent out his frustrations as he knows violence towards another human being or animal is not acceptable.

Your OH needs help and so do his dogs and I realize this is going to be very difficult for you.

Just keep and eye on them although I suspect you already do that and please if you can stop any more harm coming to them, without yourself coming to harm.

I don`t suppose counselling or anger management are things he`d consider?