Do what you want and sod your Mother! It's your day and no one should spoil it.

However I will add that my first wedding was at Gretna, famous olde Blacksmiths Shop. It was ok but personally I wouldn't recommend it.

Good luck on whatever you decide! X

So it's not just my mum that does this bold bit I am actually disgusted she has done this, it IS emotional blackmail, she knows how much i love him, he means the world to me, poor man is stuck with her stressing out now. My sister and I always worry about him, his family have all died young from heart problems (my sister lives away too).

Yeah spot on - when you say we're just making the best of what's happened and we've managed to do it really well, or so i thought. The idea of rearranging everything was so stressful, for everyone.

Aw i think that's lovely that you hired the hall for years to come xxxx

I agree with all previous posts. It is your day and it is your decision as to where and when you get married, no-one elses, not even your Mothers. I am sure she will calm down and as you say probably disappointed for the reasons mentioned.

Glad you are sticking to your guns and I am sure you will have a lovely day and honeymoon. xx

Well said. It's true! In a nutshell that's it!

Thanks for the heads up, i didn't realise there was even more than one option at Gretna till I looked yesterday, eek I need recommendations now!

Aww thank you, you are all saying what I was hoping, it IS my day and I'm not being unreasonable. I do hope she calms down soon... my poor, poor Dad putting up with her right now .

Exactly Claire, it's because of my parents it's always been said that I will have a big wedding, I hadn't even considered other options till now.

Bold bit That is it! Exactly, i was saying to Paul earlier, it has always been HER wedding anyway, so yeah she should just go right ahead and have a party herself!

I know she is upset, which is the only reason I worded my text back to her so nicely, I actually wanted to yell at her.
Yeah hopefully she will turn around, else I don't know?

I think this is why men have selective deafness.

Don't know if you watch Lark rise to Candleford but there is an old married man in it Twister and on Sunday he was saying God gives men tolerance because they are married to women so they need it. It made me chuckle all night.

LOL, very, very true, both my dad and dare I admit it, my OH!

I do agree that its your day and it should be what you and your OH want. But I'll just put a slightly different point across.

Think of it from your Mum's stance for a minute. If you are her only daughter, she's probably been dreaming about your wedding for years. On top of that, to be told in a text how much you love your Dad but no mention at all about your love for your Mum....well that's gotta hurt her a lot.

Yes, she is out of order making out its your Dad that wants the wedding. But most Dad's would want to walk their daughter down the isle even if they didn't want the rest of the stress that went with it. And perhaps she didn't feel that you would take her wishes into consideration like you would your Dads?

Just playing devils' advocate really. As one who fell out big time with my mum and didn't speak for over 2 years (her decision not mine) I've learnt to try and see her point of view much more (and she has been much better at thinking about things from my point of view).

I'd go and talk to her. Put your point across but tell her you'd like her involved and think of things that she would like to get involved with that you would be happy letting her do.

I really hope you get it sorted - even if you get what you want, if you fall out with your family over, it won't taste as sweet. x

Okay...
When I got married what I really wanted to do was head off with OH and the dogs and just get married, no fuss, no thing.
We didn't. We had a 'wedding' a smallish one granted, on our terms, but bigger than we would have wanted even if we were going to have a 'wedding'. We did it for the family,not for us.I knwo it is YOUR day...but it is also your family and friends day as they want to celebrate it with you because they love you. They want to see you married. I had friends come just to the service, not the reception, just because they wanted to be there to see it.
My dad however didn't 'give me away' as I object to that on many many levels!!!

I agree you need to do your thing...but to go from big event to Gretna is a leap...