Awww...hon don't sell those shares. You need to look after yourself. I agree with the rest, think it's time you left her to stand on her own two feet or she'll never do it. You can't be responsible for her or you'll never live your own life. So sorry she's put you in this terrible position. You know where we are if you need us. xx

the bills are your mum's problem. i know it sounds harsh but i would not use my savings to bail her out.

is like my o/h nearly had the baliffs call here for a debt he owes on his last address. i have passed on his contact details for them to contact him and remove his possessions from where he is staying. its not my debt so therefore its not my problem

sue

I think if you were to stay they only feasible option is to have her wages paid to you and you assume responsibility for the bills and give her pocket money other than that she needs to face upto reality.... she is the mum not you!! and as for those shares, how do you expect to pay for your own house when the time comes!!!

But i agree that i thnk she really needs counselling to find the root cause of her spending...

Alex
xx

Cant really add anything that hasnt already been said, so will just send you some big hugs xoxoxoxox

i kinda know where your coming from, my mum is simliar.
she hasn't ever got to the stage where she has had to sell the house to clear debts etc, but she has never got any money, wastes it on silly things then looks to me to help her out and see her through untill she has cash again.
i have tried to help her when and where i can most of my life and i still do.
she knows she need to get control and stop spending money she can't afford on things that she buys.
but she has always been the same and no matter how many times we sit and take and get her finances on track and sorted it happens again.
some times i think she see me as a bank rather than a daughter.
she borowed 500 pound of me beginning of dec to cover her for christmas and the kids presents etc and only just got some of it back now.
she still owes me some if i ever see it, i find it frustrating, we have paid things, brought her shopping to stock up the food cubaords etc to help her out.
just for her to come back for more, we have a fair amount of cash free each month don't get me wrong but surely thats for us and our kids,as a nest egg.
she is 64 yrs old and she will never change, she will sooner try and plod along and hide from the facts than face it and deal with it.
i have often though i am not going to give/lend her any more but i simply can't do it.
i can't bear the thought of my parents sitting at home with little food in the house etc,which she knows that.
dad knows nothing about their finances if he did to say he wouldn't be happy would be an understatment.
your young i would start putting yourself 1st, if your mum is anything like mine regardless of your life or your plans she will still be there asking for help.

dont sell your shares, and try n get some where for your self to move into, do u realise if the bailiffs come calling they can take YOUR stuff as way of payment, so please be carefull. is your mum working?? or is she entitiled to any benifits. id get her down the citizens advice center. they will be able to tell her what help she can get, also draw up a plan which she will have to stick to.good luck

Hun don't sell your shares, this isn't your fault! If I were u, I know you love your mum, but like Bens mum says, u don't want to get caught up in all this. Do not sell those shares, you've helped her before and she's right back here again, it'll only stall the inevitable for a few more months, she's got to face the music....your mum is not your responsibility!
Keep your chin up, we're here if you need us babe xxx

thank you everyone for lovely comments xxxxx

Sounds a bit like the 'ostritch (sp?) syndrome'

These debts aren't going to go away, and your Mum needs to take responsibility for her own actions. I do think she needs counselling for her spending addiction though. Maybe get her to ring her creditors and offer a smaller payment each week/month and have her wages paid into your account to make sure that they are paid.

As for your shares, keep tight hold of those. You're going to need them in the future. You must start thinking of yourself otherwise you're gonna be sorting out your Mum's crap all your life, and that's not fair to you.