HI everyone,

I'm in Weston Super Mare, I'm at my best friend's house with her and her hubbie. Tracy and I had a very emotional goodbye, and she's said that if I sort myself out, we might be able to talk and sort it out maybe one day, as she can "never say never to me". Right now that is something I need to hold onto otherwise I'll go insane, I love her and I'm missing her so much, I wish I was at home with her and my stepson. She asked me to text when I got here (its a very long drive!) which I did, but of course she didn't reply.

Maybe in a month I'll be stronger, but right now I want my baby girl back, no matter what has happened, I want her to love me again!

Thank you all for your support, hopefully I'll fancy eating again soon....its been quite a few days since I ate a proper meal!

xxxx

Oh sweetie. Personally, I think getting away was the best thing you could do. I hope the pain starts to ease really soon. At least you are with a good friend, and I'm sure she'll make you eat something. Big hugs honey - we're here for you xox

' she's said that if I sort myself out, we might be able to talk and sort it out maybe one day'

honey,you've done the hardest part
i cant believe that after everything shes put u through shes still blaming you
believe me,it gets easier from now,
if you would of stayed and 'worked it out' trust me wen i say it would of never really worked out,
2start with everything would of been fine,but then the doubts would set in,you start to feel like your going mad,but you think to urself 'this has to be better than losing them'!

then you continuously worry there going to do it again,the worst part is,they do eventually do it again,and its worse second time round

try to remember the mean things she said to you,it helps
dont let her beg you to come back,just 4her to use you again

i know these aint the words you want to here hun,but there the most honest words i can give you

so chin up,be brave,and look to your future
you will find sum1 you love that will never break your heart,
your own signiture tells the true story

big hugs xxx

Well done you for stepping away Lorna and as to the fact that she has said that you have to sort yourself out I am appalled , from what has been said she is the one who needs to sort herself out as this has all been of her own making!!!!

I know it is terribly hard but you will come out the other side of this and you will be a much stronger person for it!
She will be the one regretting what has happened.

Take things easy sweetie & although I'm sure you don't feel like try to keep eating little and often as if you don't you'll end up making yourself ill & that won't help anything.

Sending you lots of big hugs and puppy kisses xxxxxx

and I'm just over near Glastonbury if ya bored lol!
Becky

and im in somerset,not far x

I'm ok this morning I guess, I didn't dream about her which was good! I was afraid that I would....I probably will tonight knowing my luck! She didn't reply to thetext she asked me to send when I got here, but I don't think she had an intention of doing so.

I'm very low still, and I'm hoping that eventually we might be able to work it out. I'm hoping that if I manage to learn to not argue back, or anything, then maybe one day she'll fall back in love with me again. Its such a pain that I'm so sentimental, everything I think of an see, I think "oh I saw that with her" or "We were together when I last did that". I think there is someone else involved, but I can't blame her, I'm not easy to live with. PLus we had a small house, with three of us, and the girls etc, and I think that might have added to her stress levels.

I love her to bits.

Thank you all again, you're all suchstars, I don't know Weston very well....but if I'm still here maybe we could meet up with the pooches!!!!!

Thank you for supporting me, I don't know what I would do if I wasn't on here and you were all being so kind to me! I just don't want anyone thinking Tracy is a bad person, she's really wonderful when she's her real self, I think she's just got bored and thinks the grass is greener, we all get that sometimes, but I am just one of those people, who would never leave and just give up without trying everything....

Anyway, I'll shush! xxxxx

Hiya Lorna I'm so glad you've now moved on, this is the first and biggest step you'll have to take. I'm sorry she didn't reply to your text, but that's probably for the best too imo. You can't keep on holding onto false hope, you have to try and I know how hard it is, to make this break with no ties and never look back. If she contacts you way down the line, then fine, you can still be friends with her, but on a different level, you can never go back now, believe me I've done it in the past, and it never works out, there's always that niggle at the back of your mind about what happened in the past, and it will cause more arguments than you had already. Talking about arguments, I notice you said, if you can learn to not answer back? Well, do you really want to be her puppet, her pulling all the strings, and you just going along with everything just to keep the peace? I don't think so, you are a person in your own right, and have every right to speak your mind as and when you wish. The reason you argued with her is because she really isn't the right one for you, we all know that, but you will only see it when you're eventually on the outside looking in, you can't see it from where you stand right now.

When you eventually meet up with the right one for you, there won't be any need for arguments, because they'll think and act the same way as you, have the same interests, emotions, wit, etc. etc. etc. so there's really no need for arguments. Who wants to live a life constantly nagging with someone, or constantly worrying about who they're with,or will go off with, nobody wants a life like that, you wouldn't be happy, she wouldn't have been happy, it would end up eating you inside permanently, so you could never have what you had originally with Tracy, I'm so very sorry to say.

I know about the not wanting to eat bit too, so you'll just have to force yourself if you don't want to make yourself ill, coz you will, if you don't eat. You must be feeling in shreds, I know how very hard it must have been for you to take the plunge and walk out that door, I hope she's missing you loads, but sorry to say she won't be all the while she's got someone else, so don't hold onto any more of that false hope, not at the moment, leave her be, don't pester her, the ball's in her court now. If she comes back crawling and begging and you feel you want to take her back, you'll have to cross that bridge if and when it comes, but I really don't think it will, and I hope for your future's sake it doesn't coz she really wasn't the right one for you. It's all part of life's experiences, and I very much hope that one day you'll look back on your relationship with her and thank God you left when you did when you've found someone who loves you back in the way you truly deserve, you will, I know that, but for the time being you'll have to get through this awful emptiness you feel. I wish you all the very best in whatever way you go from here, and please let us know how you're coping, we'll always be here for you. Take care. xxxxxx

I can'tfeelthat its really over at the moment though, I'm holding on to the hope that it will be ok and that we can sort it. I don't want to be a puppet, but I am very very very hot headed, and I love her and will do anything to change. Wehave all the same interests, we love all the same things.....I just wish she was here with me, or Iwas with her, I know maybe this is the end, but it doesn't feel like it is, I want to get to know me again, and have some fun, but I think I know I want her back so badly..... I don't want to think its for good,otherwise I think the way I'm feeling I'd go and find a bus and jump under it!!!!

xxxx

Yes, you may have done,but if you really were on the same wavelength as her, then why all the arguments you say you had??? I'm really, really hot headed too, and my partner is the total opposite anything fo a quiet life is he, and yet I can honestly say, in 25 years we have never, ever argued, except when he fitted my new kitchen and we nearly divorced over it!! I sometimes sit there watching tv with him, and I'm just about to say something and he comes out with exactly what I was going to say, or the other way around, he will say he was just about to say that! When two people are like that together there isn't any need for arguments I don't think. I have had relationships in the past where there were arguments, and when I look back, I was nowhere near as happy with those people as I have been with my existing partner, even though at the time I thought it was the real thing, it obviously wasn't.

You just cling on to whatever hope you have that this might not be the end. Afterall, a break might be just the thing the relationship needs, and you will know that if she contacts you again somewhen soon. I hope you get whatever you want out of the current situation, anything that stops you hurting so bad is a bonus, and if it was really meant to be, then it will be. You having moved out, might just bring her to her senses if she really is in love with you and she'll drop her ex like a brick, let's just hope that's what happens if that's what you want, which I know it is. Trouble is Lorna, all the time you're thinking like you are instead of moving on, it'll just make things harder for you and prolong the agony if she doesn't? I hope you get a text from her saying she's missing you, but if not, move on, it'll be much kinder to yourself in the long run, either way, whatever happens. All the very best, I really feel how down you are, it must be awful feeling like that.xxxx