Ideas....help

Ok as you all know we are Foster parents, and with this comes a certain ''hands tied'' as to what you can do and not do....certain boundries can not be broken.

ie we can not dress inappropriately in front of FC
Can not speak inappropriately
Can not go into childs bedroom without knocking
Can not go into bathroom with child
And so on......

Well we know our FS is just not washing, Oh the shower goes on, the shampoos and body washes goes down the drain.....but nothing is touching his hair or body.

We've talked...and he refuses to listen, we've bought products of his own, let him choose products of his own etc., all he does is plaster himself with smellies....but NO WATER OR SOAP

This problem has been going on for sometimes/ well months now , Social workers have no interest, our own social worker just laughs, but sorry he's not smelling to good, and the hair is obviously not being washed, although he combs it etc.,

How can we deal with this any suggestions, I know its ok Social workers saying ''oh well leave him if he wants to smell'' but how do I get passed this problem, because its (imo) unhygenic

How old is he Steph? As soon as his interest in girls arrives, he'll be always washing and preening.....

x0x

Perhaps he needs to be told about crotch rot, sore groins and all the lovely other things you get if you just don't wash.

It is hard. Charlie is not the biggest fan of soap and water, but when he had his big op I had to do it all for him so I can drag him into the bath or shower. But no use to you if you can't go in with him.

How old is he?
Doe she have to have a shower after PE at school? Mind you I know when we did we just ran through the water as quick as we could or we'd miss the school coach home lol.

Is there someone a little older than him who can have a heart to heart with him?

I suppose your hands are tied as mine are sometimes as a carer. If someone doesn't want to wash, you can't physically make them.

It may well change when girls become interesting to him..... it did with Charlie lol

Chuck him in the garden and hose him down....

Would he go swimming? With Patrick? As afterwards you go in the open male/female showers and wash down with your cossies and trunks on as they are public.
At least then he'd be getting touched by water and coz of the chlorine he'd have to wash properly?
Or would they not allow that either?

ooooooooooooooooo I hate kids.

He's 11 tomorrow, but a small 11, im sort of thinking that the interest of girls may come around 14 at the moment he sees girls as a YUK YUK YUK YUK

And as he is a baby 11....Oh I know that sounds bad, but I mean he really is still trying to be a child....spent alot of his life just surviving, so this child thing is all new to him.....even changing clothes can be a mission

OK I have just told him that I am washing the hair and then taking him to have it cut and.......................he was off

I take it he`s early to mid teens? If so, it`s not uncommon and changes overnight the first time some little jezebel bats her eyelashes at him.
I would ignore it, personally.

hee hee Pat takes him twice a week, and I have just said to pat...does he shower, the answer was, he runs threw it....Pat tried giving him a flannel and shower gel, but he drops it on the floor...........I am wondering if this is a learnt behaviour before he was removed from home
He 11 tomorrow....I can not wait till some girl gives him the ''glad eye'' hun

Is there any room for bargaining with him, like a star chart for 5 stars he gets to do something he likes or gets a small reward for smelling like soap?

I've been toying with this, and started it last month, only to find out that he gets under the water jumps straight out again...leaving the shower on, and sprays himself with Pats stuff/his own.

I may give this another try................taking all the stuff out of the bathroom and leaving just the one shower gel....that way I know whether he smells of just that