I can appreciate your difficulties, yours is a strong dog to walk if she is playing up. My dog is a Bullmastiff cross, he was 2 when we got him and extremely under socialised and would try and lunge at everything to the point where I was almost physically sick before I had to walk him. We tried various different headcollars and harnesses before I was confident that I could control him safely. I know that money is obviously an issue right now and you don't want to keep buying headcollars that are not effective on your dog (different dogs suit different headcollars) but, once you know that you are in control it will make a huge difference to how you are feeling. So sorry that you are going through this

I have no advice any different from others have said
but I just wanted to offer (((((((hugs))))) and whatever you decide I hope it all goes well xxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh (((hugs))) it is clear to see how much you love her, and how upset you are over this Hope everything goes well...

Just wanted to let you know that I sympathise with you, having been through this myself some years ago.

I know your heart is breaking, honey, and my thoughts are with you.

I'm proud that you are doing what is right for your dog, regardless of the pain it causes you.

x0x

its so hard but i know its what is right for Phoebe.

We had come up with coping methods that worked at our old house like playing in the garden and doing training at home on the days she couldnt be walked. I also started walking her at 11pm so could have a peacfull walk - i cant do that here as if i go one way its the town centre with pubs/bars and takeaways and she would just be freaking out but if i go the other way there are no street lights.

The fact that she responds to training and for other people makes me confident that with an experianced owner she could be a happy dog and would get more out of life than she does with me. The trainer that came out even said Phoebe has no respect for me - yet i deal with dificult dogs at work all day with no problems. I do everything the trainer said but to no benefit im at a total loss as to why she doesnt respond to me

I feel for you,its the hardest decision to make especially when you've put so much into phoebe already...
youv'e done the best thing already getting in touch with the breed rescue,just remember it can take 4,5,6 months even to find a home, so hang on in there...
good luck xx

my heart goes out to you, because i know what a hard decision it is you're making having done this just three weeks ago. think long and hard about what is best for pheobe,and put your feelings to one side while you do it. it's not easy, but only you will know what is the right for her.
as tabithaj suggested, try a dogmatic headharness. far better than the halti ones, opie is a lot easier to walk with his, and they don't ride up into the dogs eyes. it's my own fault that he pulls,because it's very rare i walk him on a lead.
good luck with whatever decision you make.

I had this with Dexter when he first came here. He would not listen to a single command etc.

When I finally found a good trainer she explained to me that Dex was picking up on my stress. Without me realising it, my voice was getting 'shrill'

She even had me practise giving commands to him in a lower, more 'gruff' voice!

It helped, it really did. I have found that I can give him a command and he ignores it - but if I THEN stand up straighter, tilt my chin and give the exact same command, he listens!!! And obeys!!!!!

I suspect you are - understandably - feeling anxious and out of control and that your dog is picking up on this.

I also found that using a headcollar that really worked, made a HUGE difference. It makes you as the owner feel back in control - and your resulting confidence is picked up very swiftly by your dog.

As a last resort I would urge you to check out the Dogmatic headcollar - all I can tell you is that it helped me when I was truly desperate and walks were hellish!

I too immediately thought of the Dogmatic headcollar when I saw your post. Before getting one, I was dragged from pillar to post by my Leonberger boy, injuring my back and shoulders and sometimes sending me spinning through the air I bought a really strong leather Dogmatic and it's fantastic. I haven't looked back and I'm in complete control. He knows it too now and is massively better behaved. There is absolutely no way he can pull me and I can easily control him with one hand with no strain at all (and I suffer from tennis elbow). I really do think it might be worth a try as others have said, jmo.

will have a look in to this dogmatic thing, i would be willing to give it a go. I also have a trainer who is at the kennels alot she has said she will help me for free with phoebe if i meet her at the kennels as she said my chance of actually rehoming a naughty middle aged large breed is very slim