What do you think about cheating?

we were having this conversation last night while we were out.

what do you think about people who cheat on their partners? have any of you ever cheated on your partner or been cheated on? and do you reckon this colours your views on it.

i have been cheated on 3 times with the man i am with now, it used to hurt but to be honest im now getting to the point where i dont think we will last much longer, so it doesnt bother me.

i used to hate people that cheat (which makes me wonder why im with the current OH) but now it doesnt bother me that much, i think maybe because i got my own back so to speak.

i wouldnt like to be cheated on again, and id never ever do it to someone, but i can udnerstand why some people do cheat.

we then got onto the topic of is it worse if they cheat on you just the once with some random people, or is it worse if they cheat on you with the same person a number of times...

have any of you ever met your current partners because you cheated on an ex with them? we got on to talking about trust then, because could you ever truly trust that person, knowing they went behind their current partners back to get with you in the first place?

dont feel like any of you have to answer. im just intrigued, and a bit jumbled up regarding my relationship so im thinking things through far too much, and thought id post on here to get it out of my head

For me it is simple.........Cheating is lying and I dont do lyers!

no i suppose not. if they lie about that then you would never know when they would be telling the truth or lying..

Yep, for me trust is the biggie. I know that my OH will make decisions based on what is best for me and our boys, no-one else gets a look in. I do the same.

People can fall out of love and fall in love with someone else but I believe in finishing one relationship before starting a new one.

Please dont take this the wrong way, its none of my business but this guy has cheated on you 3 times and it no longer bothers you? why are you with this guy? and where is your self respect to put up with this behaviour from someone?

IMO 3 times cheating on you means he doesnt respect you or care for your feelings. Why are you wasting your time on a relationship that seems to mean nothing to you both?

Personally, I couldnt be with anyone who cheated on me. As Lionheart said CHEATERS ARE LIARS. I would never be able to trust them again and without trust there is no relationship. You keep going down that route before you know it u'll end up on the Jeremy Kyle show doing lie detectors I dont see why people dont walk away before they get to that point, lifes too short to stay in a miserable relationship.

I had an ex who I was suspicious of cheating on me, I knew he was constantly lying to me, Im not stupid, however I never got any solid evidence so to speak. I stayed too long and I regretted that but it was a lesson learnt.

I could never cheat on anyone, even if they cheated on me. To me, it shows total disrespect, lack of emotion and awareness of the other persons feelings, selfishness and gutlessness. If you dont wanna be with someone then have the guts to tell them and move on. If you wanna sleep around then fine, dont get into a relationship and be honest about it. To some respect I also see the cheater to have low self esteem, they need to do this to give themselves an ego boost.

My philosophy has always been I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me, and long term relationships can come under all sorts of strains but if my OH's way of dealing with it was to cheat, he'd be out the door pretty damn quick.
I don't lie, have secrets or cheat, my life is an open book to those I care about and the OH is the same.

not taken the wrong way and not offended, i wouldnt of posted it otherwise it is getting to the point now where i dont know why i bother, he hasnt cheated on my for the past year though, and it has got better but i know we arent really right for each other, i just dont like being alone. it doesnt bother me because ive gotten used to the way he acts. dont get me wrong i absolutely love him, but i know he doesnt want what i want in life.
just as a note when i said i got my own back, i didnt cheat on him.

How can you be absolutely sure though? You say he has cheated on you three times, and yet you are sure that he has been faithful for the past year?

Is this the guy you were hoping to get a house with not so long ago? Only I think you should really stop and think whether not being alone is worth the worry of never being 100% certain that he is not/will not do it again.

Because in the greater majority of cases, once a cheat, always a cheat.

because he doesnt go anywhere now other than the gym or seeing me, and ive caught him out every other time, by finding messages on his phone etc.

yes he is the one i was getting a house with, dont worry thats not hapenning either way!

Lionhound and Trouble have summed it up on one.

I would not tolerate someone who cheated on me. If they cheated they clearly don't care about me/relationship and there would be no point staying together. I have massive trust issues (stemming from many years ago) and I also have issues about being alone, my OH can find it hard to leave me on my own as I also suffer from depression (none related to being alone), but actually I have gotten much better since having dogsey and being able to chat to like minded people all day and night (much to OH's dislike when we are watching a film or tv)