Sorted for now. (I hope).

Decided in the end to ring Mum re: all these problems.

She denies any knowledge of having said all those things about me being adopted then starts bringing them up again. I stpped her and told her if we are to move she needs to stop keep mentioning it Gorden says she does have an issue but will just not admit to it.

I am taking her as planned to see her Consultant 9th August but I have made it clear after this visit if he cannot find a better solution it is best if either my brother or her friend/hairdresser takes her as they had said they would when she got it into her head I was dumping her.

She was still bringing up all the things my mother did while the adoption was going through 50 years ago. I am hoping I have nipped it in the bud for now anyway and I have told her if she brings any of it up again I will walk and I will not make the first move to put things right like this time even though it shouldn't of been me making the first move now.

I am going to see a Dr next week mine is on annual leave to get some Prozac I need the edge taking off. I am considering asking for some counselling too about this adoption business Gorden has been saying for years I needed some I have been in denial I did not want to face the fact mum does have issues which gives me issues. This time I have seen the light and I need to off load.

So once again I have made the fist move it will be the last time I do it though. We will see where this all ends.

I am not going to go on a regular basis anymore I did cut it down to once a fortnight but now I will go randonmly and leave bigger gaps. Gill says she has become so dependant on me if anything changes she takes it out on me and I think she is right so maybe I need to let go of the reins a bit now.

I don't wish to remain bad friends and not talking to her she is my mum and she is old and who knows how much longer she has with us I would rather be on friendly terms when anything happens to her.

So now sit back and watch this space.

Good for you Lynn, it's always hardest to make the first move, especially when you are so obviously the one in the right. Hopefully your mum will start to realise that she has upset you with her attitude, although sadly, I wonder if she realises that anything she said has a bitter twist to it, maybe it's just her age, but it is really unfair of her to treat you in this way.

I think you're doing the right thing popping to the GP, just to get a little something to help you through this, it's been such a trying 12 months for you, I'm suprised you manage to get through each day and still manage to send caring messages to your friends on here.

I truly hope this is it now, that your mum will suddenly realise how much you do for her and stop taking you for granted. xx

Thank you Sheree. I am always happy to show my support to friends here on Dogsey I have had so much support myself especially over Ollie. You are right it has been a hard 12 months and last week tipped me over the edge.

Mum rang Gill earlier with the news and Gill told her she is not sure she could of smoothed things over so quickly if she had said those things to her if she was in my position.

Gorden had said last week and now Gill has said they think she thinks I am my mum and she has so much hate for her that I am copping it because she forgets I am not her. She has started living in the past an awful lot and Gill was getting the stories this afternoon about me my biological mum and the neighbour who hung her wet washing on mums line when they lived in a flat many years ago.

The last fall a couple of years ago changed her when she cut her head open and now it is escalating so if I can keep things on an even keel I will I am not going to go over as much it will be random and on my terms but at least hopefully we can put this in the past if she starts to bring it up I will stop it straight away.

Hi Lynn, i'm glad you have decided to step back a bit, as your sister says, maybe she will start to realise how much you do for her.

I wish you all the best, and i think the counselling will be good for you, get your feelings out in the open so to speak.

Not making excuses for your mums behaviour but she souds so similar to my nan, my nan has dementia, sounds like she is displaying similar behaviour ?

I wish you all the best xxx

Thank you. Those thoughts of dementia were the reason I decided to try to sort things out. Its not going to be easy dementia or not as obviously we do not if it is that yet. I feel so differently towards her now. If it is this we are in for a long hard ride. If its not it is her spiteful streak worsening with age normally though we would have our blow ups and get over them. Not so these days i'm afraid.

She certainly is a very different person. It has affected me badly. I am going to sit down and write my boys a letter each and if this happens to me and god forbid I hurt them as badly they will have an explanation in a letter when I am beyond being able to be reasosned with.