Lol I missed that one, that's good H!!!

And here's one from Iso-Chick today in the "I find it so sad........" thread, about football

"My OH gets very upset when the team he supports loses (which they do a lot). I have to check the score on Sky so I know whether I can talk to him or not when he gets home...."

liked this re:Jan Fennel dog whisperer

Shaynlola wrote this in the "newfoundland" thread. I did have a laugh but maybe i am biased slightly.

Things prospective Newf owners should know:

They shed like it's their ambition in life to be bald. That's just the normal every day shedding. Coat blowing time is like a blizzard of hair. And it gets everywhere...you will never again eat a meal that does not come with added Newfie fur. I am still trying to figure out how yoghurt manufacturers know to add brown fur to my yoghurts specifically as every pot I open has at least one.

They drool. Some drool more than others but they all drool. Most people don't realise that dried drool sets like concrete and nothing shifts it. You will spend more time than you care to think about trying to shift drool from walls and ceilings as a head shake can distribute the stuff over a wide area. You will inevitably get droll in your cornflakes/coffee/much needed glass of vino (if you don;t drink now, you will when you own a Newf...it's a coping mechanism...you can't worry about how you'll get at the spots of dried drool at the top of the curtains if you're too pi$$ed to focus on them). That seemingly random headshake is surprisingly accurate in it's aim. One final thing about drool...you will ALWAYS have some on your clothes, be it your scruffiest dog walking gear or your best bib & tucker. Don't believe me? Have a good look at the next Newfie owner you meet.... Drool is often a deal breaker. You will find out quickly who your REAL friends are.

The taste of drool and hair will no longer be a mystery to you. A Newf owner won't even be grossed out by that thought.

Your house will never be properly clean again. Although they are an excellent cover for those of us who fall somewhat short of domestic goddess.

Wet is a constant state for them...consequently, it will become a constant state for everything they come into contact with. That includes you.

They are the original velcro dog and need human company. When you get a Newf you acquire a 55kg+ shadow with a penchant for leaning on you every time you stop for more than a second. You are unlikely to ever have a pee in peace ever again.

They are expensive. Like every giant breed they need everything in the biggest sizes. Vet bills are bigger, food bills are bigger. Laundry and dry-cleaning bills are bigger (see previous notes on 'hair' and 'drool'). You will need a bigger car.

Every conversation you ever have with a stranger will involve them saying something along the lines of 'Wouldn't like to see your food bills' then guffawing wildly like it's the funniest thing they've heard all century. You will learn to smile whilst biting your tongue and silently remind yourself that 'little amuses the simple'.

That said, who wouldn't want one

Hi Helena54,
I had read that reply from patch while still in the library, first I stated laughing then came the coughing fit rolled around and those two old duckies both lifeted their heads up at the same time and both had that same disapproving look well that set me off again needless to say now but I can cough in peace

Sorry about that hun

What is it about Newfie owners and their sense of humour? Shiba, you'll recognise this as your post in the Newfie thread.

All I can say is I'm glad I was home alone reading it because I was laughing like a nutter!!



Years ago (true story) a salesman sat on my sofa all suited and smart. I was trying really hard to hold a sensible conversation whilst holding a 150lb dog in my left hand trying hard not to let her drool rub against his suit. He sat there politely but looked very nervous the whole time.

As the sales guy spoke, i watched the drool and dribble start, my eyes darted to the guy and then to my newf. It was spreading downwards, first an inch long, then two. I tried to concentrate on what this guy was telling, trying to look really interested then my eyes darted back to the drool. No kidding it had now become 6 inches long, thick white sticky stuff dropping down either side of her mouth.

Then it happened.....the guy must have realised he didn't have my full attention, he shuffled and coughed at the same time and in very slow motion i watched my newf shake her head....the dribble went about 6ft in the air and i watched in horrow as in slow motion it plopped into the guys coffee cup. this was Just as he was raising it to his mouth, he stopped, there was a plop noise, he looked at his cup and then to me and said "what was that" i shrugged quite inocently and said "i don't know" he shrugged and then took a sip. I still to this day laugh at that momory. He never realised.

If you found that totally discusting - A NEWF IS NOT FOR YOU- this is the norm in a newfie owners life.

no worries mate, I enjoyed it even if they didn't

Here's one I just spotted, post 19 in Sez & Ambers thread called 'Flippin DWP':-

"Fortunately, the puppy tends to eat junk like that before we see it (I suppose it's one form of recycling )"

Just a note to say that there's just four days left to enter this months competition. OK it is just a 'trial' 'cos it started halfway through the month. I make it ten entries so far. I'll be judging on Friday & posting on Saturday.