http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgur...ed=0CEEQ9QEwBA

I think it's this one he's trying to get..

My OH had a mid life crisis after his divorce at 37, he bought a sports car VX220 !! Yup it's fast and it kinda looks nice but - it's totally uneconomical, I feel like I'm in a go kart - there's no suspension to speak of! Itls a two seater - we have 2 foster kids and his daughter comes to us every weekend! The boot is the size of a hand luggage bag. Oh yeah it's rubbish in the rain too!! Guess how often he drives it?

Yup - hardly ever!! About a month a year in total if we have a good summer and it costs him £600 (loan and insurance ) a month for the privilege of him behaving like a teenager!!!

what a waste of money as far as I'm concerned! There's so much more we could do with that much money like save up for a deposit to buy a house!! It's a constant irritation to me I refuse to get in it now just because He's lucky he's always had a very well paid job so doesn't see it as 'that much money' Me I'm from Netto shopping / search for a bargain to treat myself stock and it shocks me that he can spend very close to most of my friends monthly wage on something so frivolous!!!

Men huh!!

Same here - his parents have always paid for everything for him.. whereas we got pocket money for chores - which he never had to do and we had to save up for stuff - it must be a Yorkshire thing

The thing is until I start working we're living off his wage - I hate it and I'm trying my best but no luck.. I understand why he wants it, his brother has a sports car, his friend has one.. UGH why can't he just be reasonable!!! I think he's had too many hits to the head in the Army..

Like any child the moment you say No they have a strop ...... I remember well as a youngster being told ''don't go out with him he's no good'' or ''No you/we can not afford it'' ....it only makes you more determined to do it hun.

Try totally ignoring it, I know his constant chat will want you to have a major row over it.....but really if you just ignore it he'll soon work out for himself he hasn't got the money men just take that little bit longer to realise

On another point - the best way to beat this is to start looking at blokes when out (even if you don't mean it), check out their bums and stuff.... he'll absolutely hate it. You can then explain that you hate it when he does it as well....

The more you tell him no, the more he'll want it. Just respond with "yes dear", "whatever you want to do" etc. when he mentions it and he'll probably get bored of the idea

This is the thing though - he thinks he has! He's found an insurer who will only cost just over a grand a year to insure him in this car - not bad really though, the car will only cost 4K and because he won't be using it as much the petrol will only be costing him when he does. Then there's MOT's, any fixtures it needs etc etc etc... And on top of it all - he's refusing to believe his Dad will get rid of the Scenic if he buys this car.. which if he does then we've only got this stupid idea of his to go on - I'm not even going to call it a car anymore - it's just an idea.. nothing more or less because he isn't having it! Anyway back to what I was saying, if he does go for this idea then the car will be sold/scrapped and then I'll be going everywhere on the buses.. I'm going to even refuse to acknowledge this idea.. our drive will be empty - I'm going to moan about us not having a car He'd only have to get rid of it anyway because he wants children (I've managed to save my tummy and everything else for four years - he wanted one now! ) and they aren't going in the idea of his. And he told me that when I start driving I'm not allowed a van so I can have dog crates in! So I'm going to tell him what he's not allowed

Maybe that could be it? I'll make a bargain with him, I'll not talk about getting a van when I can drive, if he doesn't get this idea? and if he insists on it, he's paying for a fast track learning course driver thing so I can start driving so I don't have to even think about that thing I can always get an estate or a People carrier and have some sort of cage in the back

Sorry waffled - early morning, haven't had a coffee yet and I'm slightly annoyed () at how funny you think my pain is! I thought you Dogsey people were nice!

Only is underlined because my Mum used to put extra emphasis on it when we were going "It's only such and such a price" then if it'd cost more in the long run it'd be and "Only - then how much will it cost me" good old Mum

And I agree, start putting restrictions on him now when you are both still young with no responsibilities then you are setting yourself up for trouble later on.

Unless I am missing something, you are both very young, no dependents (children) or mortgage, ad to be honest if he was my child and his g/friend told him he could nto have this or that, then i would be equally as miffed.

If he can afford to buy this car, its up to him, and in my experience, wanting something and not being able to have it, makes you want it more, and will only set unrest amongst you , becuase you are the one stopping him having his dream.

And also in my experience, once you get what you want, you realise the impracticality of said object, the cost to run, he insurance and so on, and the whim goes, in other words, you`ve done that, and now its time to move on!


You need to be careful you don't fall into the trap of many OH`s and become a dictator to what he can have and do... it only makes for a bad relationship. have seen to many relationships go wrong due to this, and you may here the saying from some of his friends , he needs to grow a pair!!


Now all the above only applies if as I said he can afford it , he is not expecting you to fund it.

I assume he is around the same age as you, if so , if he cant do some of the things he wants to do now when he is young, then when can he do it, and if you stop him, you may do so at a cost you don't want to pay.

Already tried that.. I gave up cba with it all..

I've also decided I'm going down town this weekend - play him at his own cliche - I'm 19 and I've not experienced all the things a 19 year old normally does (not that I want to, I can't stand being drunk, being out late - hurts my feet and a good book and bed is better and all the stuff that a typical 19 year old does) but for this weekend I'm going to be typical - live whilst I'm young..(but sensibly)..


No Karly - he'll take that as my blessing - seriously he will..

I'm going to ignore the fact that he's asked me to get his Brother or his Mum to go look at it and I'm just going to ignore any talk about it..

Just a phase - hopefully, but I'm not going to say that to him.. it'll make him more determined..

I understand what you're saying and he's 6 years older than me - he's done all the partying and drinking and all that. I'm not stopping him, I've said he can get whatever car he wants when he can afford it properly - I've given him that choice - I'm not bothered about the car, it's just he doesn't seem to realise that he has a house and although we don't have a mortgage to pay, we still have rent (of which in laws use to pay the bills - so really we're just paying the bills) He doesn't pay for the car he has now except the things that don't cost as much.

His brother hates me anyway, rarely acknowledges that I'm there and when I talk to him I get blanked.. so it doesn't surprise me that that's the response I got.. He's borrowing the money off his brother to buy the car anyway - which means he cannot afford it.. which means as well as paying the insurance and everything on the car he'll be paying his brother back - meaning he'll have less money..

I don't see this as one of those relationships where one is the dictator - I see it as I'm the one being sensible here and he's the one being childish..