Awww what a horrible day for you too, so glad to know its not just me makes me feel heaps better Avoiding the walk its chucking it down here. Spoken to my Sister Mum rang her before going to my Brothers to say how upset she and I were and was hoping I would ring before she left. Well I didn't so she now knows how hurt I am, if she mentions it at my Brothers my SIL will tell her off too. She always says I do too much and my Mum expects too much from us.
She tells Mum that. As you can imagine she is not Mums favourite person.
I think she will have time to think things over and maybe come back with a different attitude not for long though I don't suppose.
Chin up and soldier on suppose thats all we can do. xx

So sorry to hear you're so down Lynn. My MIL was exactly the same when she was in hospital. She said some horrible things to me and OH. I know she was in pain and feeling terrible but it doesn't stop you being hurt by the comments.
Chin up hun. Take a deep breath and try to put it down to pain and old age. I know it's not easy. xxxxx

Thanks for the hugs really need them today. Feeling better now though. Gorden bought me a bottle of wine and some chocolate.

Thanks. I remember you having problems, Mum was ill at the time and i was feeling pretty low then as well. To be honest I think I am still worn out from having her in and out of Hospital that week.
Gorden asked me if I was going to be ringing my Brother to see how things were with her, I said no I wasn't I was hoping this week would give her time to reflect. Its not like she is on her own, she has company where if she was at home she would be alone and it would be worse more guilt. He said good he felt it was a good idea to let her think on things.

I'm not much help, Lynn, as I had a pretty poor relationship with my mum, who favoured my sister over me. In the end, I backed off for a while. It didn't help the relationship, but did make me feel better.

There's no reason you should feel obligated to put up with "hurt" just because the person dishing it out is family.

Mum died of cancer in 1983, and even on her death bed, she was nasty and hurtful to me. To think she still had it in her to do this staggered me, yet when she died, I was heartbroken.

If it were me, Lynn, I'd take a little break from her.

Hugs hon x0x

Thanks Vicki. I know she is old and in pain I accept that but I do not feel there is any need to be hurtful. I really hope I am not like that when I am old. I know my boys would only take it once and tell me to get over it and if not they would stay away. they tell me that now thats what they will do.

Hope you are feeling a bit better now, you have a break for a week, so enjoy!!! A bar of choccie always makes you feel better anyway

Thanks. I remember you having problems, Mum was ill at the time and i was feeling pretty low then as well. To be honest I think I am still worn out from having her in and out of Hospital that week.
Gorden asked me if I was going to be ringing my Brother to see how things were with her, I said no I wasn't I was hoping this week would give her time to reflect. Its not like she is on her own, she has company where if she was at home she would be alone and it would be worse more guilt. He said good he felt it was a good idea to let her think on things.[/quote]

You will be worn out Lynn. We lost my MIL in April and we're still absolutely worn out from the trauma of the whole thing. You're right, there is no need to be hurtful and it is really upsetting. Take this week to chill out and hopefully she'll reflect on the way she's been behaving. Glad Gorden has bought you wine and chocolate...they always help!! Take it easy hun xxxx

I have a close friend who was one of three and her mum singled her out for all the nastiness - and yet she was the one who went to visit the most often.
I also knew her mum and I used to visit her once a week. She tried her old nonsense with me and I was able to jolly her out of it, but she left me feeling drained.
I even explained to her that if I was her daughter I wouldn't come to see her as often when she was so horrible, and she was in real danger of driving her own daughter away

What she said to me was she didn't mean to be horrid, but she was scared. She knew she was getting older and she knew the end was coming and she was terrified but didn't know how to tell her children that, as she had always been the one to look after them as they grew.
So her fear translated to nastiness because she didn't know how to handle fear. Shame was, she couldn't change how she handled it, even though it was horrid for all concerned.
its a side of a coin I had not thought of myself. only the old dear trusted me to tell me.