Mark & I went to CAB re his Son.

Yesterday.
We found out some useful things but nothing is much help as regards to his rights.
It has confirmed to him not to waste his money on the Parental rights business through a Solicitor can cost from £1000 too £3000, the only time that would come in useful is if anything happened to the Mum or she was in Hospital for a long stay then Mark could insist he comes to him.. The Advisor suggested this is better signed amicably rather than spend loads of money as it doesn't give Mark any rights to Joel at all. If she wants to move hundreds of miles away and has good reasons to do it there is nothing he can do even with that bit of paper. The Law did change in 2003 in favour of the Fathers not a lot but of no help to Mark at all.
He has also suggested he rings the NSPCC to get some advice as he says things are in the pipeline all the time and get in touch with Fathers 4 Justice. There is some talk about being able to go down the Human rights route but he does not know what stage this is at yet, as they tend to keep things under wraps till they get concrete information but they would be able to tell Mark what was happening so far.
Mark gives Donna cash to help with Joel but sometimes he cannot give her money as he is self employed and if there is no work he gets no money her choice re the cash. Mark and Tracey always make sure he has new clothes and shoes and a new uniform every year regardless of whether he is in work or not. He has also replaced things like a cooker etc., for her.
The Advisor suggested he keeps all the receipts and makes notes of things that go on.
His other suggestion was as this last episode kicked off because Joel asked Mark to ask Donna if he could go live with him which she almost agreed too till her Partner arrived home then she got nasty and started shouting that her benefits would be cut, was to suggest she keeps the money or they replace the money they are getting for him so she is no worse off as this sounds like a classic case nowadays that some people only want to hold onto the Children because of what they are worth to them.
This makes my blood boil but knowing her and her Family is of no surprise to Gorden and myself and now Mark.
So he is going to play softly softly with her and when the time is right broach the Parental rights business because if anything happened to her at the moment he wouldn't automatically go to Mark even though he is his Dad and his name is on the Birth Certificate. He will also when the time is right suggest the money thing, till then he has to be grateful for what he gets as she has him by the short and curlies as he said to me the other day and boy does she know it.
So we have a few more ideas but not much different to what Mark already knew.
Thanks for all the suggestions in the previous post I put up.
One very frustrated Nanny.

oh hun, im sorry to hear this,

Its sucha shame, there are so many fathers that cant be bothered seeing their kids but then you get the ones that do and they are being prvented by the vindictive mothers....

poor little boy,.....one thing to rememebr though...as i was a child in a similar situation...

he WILL know when he is older what went on and will see his mother for what she is...that seems to be the only saving grace....

But you keep fighting for him....has he thought of contacting social services for advice.....

maybe a few tip offs to them as to what she is like may help....sorry if its alredy been done...

Big hugs
Alex
xxxx

Thought about it Alex believe me, but if they go in and find nothing wrong she will pull the plug on him seeing him for as long as she wants, she would know it would be one of us even if done confidentially and if it wasn't us we would get the blame so we have to be thankful for small mercies so we can see him as much as possible and keep a good eye on him.
Mark has had to learn so much patience and this frustrated him too that some Dads don't care and he does, he would have him tomorrow if allowed. We always feel like we are walking on broken glass with her. Thanks for the hugs.

Lynn.....just another thought...Patrick's youngest son has a similar problem with his Ex and the twins.....he has to keep her sweet, and run her about in the car etc., otherwise she won't let him see them.
But he has opened a bank account in thier names and makes a monthly deposit from his bank to it....so that if at anytime she tries to say she has no monies from him re the twins....he can prove that he has put a provision in place. Doon't know if that would be useful. Best of luck Hun xxxx

Thats a good idea Steph will tell him that thankyou.

i now just how you are feeling hun, we had to see a solic today about my OH daughter, its a long storey. The mother phoned us and told us she had been sexualy assult 2 mndays ago. It looks like it was a lie and she has again stopped him from seeing her. We are going for custody even thou he might not get it but there is a chance he will but it will mean he will get a court getting him access where she can't just pull it when she wants.

i am thinking of you hun good luck

if he is self employed and does not earn much he can get funding as that is what we are doing.

Good luck will keep fingers crossed for you.