We came up with a name for Dahlia's "breed" once. The Giant-Tailed Butter-Herding Retriever.

How much better would our crufts be ...

And here we have the manic muck bums... tearing and rolling into the ring... all have been perfectly groomed for this breed, covered in an inch of mud and yes.. there we have a few leaves and twigs... The judge is now approaching the ring with his shovel of horse muck to test the dogs characteristic rolling trait.

Please join us later as the ring is made ready and painted black for the arrival of the wereteen emodogs. If you listen carefully you can hear them howling in the wings and who can forget last years winner who in a scandal it has been revealed turned out to be a real teenager and not a wereteen at all.