Putting my little hand up in this class. I was bullied all the way from year 5 until year 10 in primary and secondary school by the same group of girls. My mum did everything she could bar taking me out of those schools but as we lived in an area with one primary school and only 2 choices of secondary school she saw little point in making our lives difficult for the sake of a child she could pick up and throw about 10ft. She went to both the schools over those 5 years and they did everything APART from excluding the 2 main bullies.
Needless to say I was moved in regards to classes and eventually they set up a truant class for girls (all girls school) who were frequently acted up or were truant from classes and they were both moved to it. I was able to move back to my old classes with my friends but in 6th form I'd had enough.

I was what, 17 at the time and was so sick of them. Their behaviour from year 5 onwards had been a mix of rude names (in regards to my weight and appearance generally), physical bullying including being pushed down a flight of stairs, Theft from my school bags mainly in secondary school during PE lessons when my things were in the locker rooms (including my phone, money, my text books and lunch). By year 12 I'd just had enough of it, it ended up with me being taken into the office because I pushed one of them through a glass door after she'd pulled my hair and kicked me in the back.

My mum was fuming, she said that if they'd acted on it back in year 7 I wouldn't have got to the stage where I had to get violent about it. I ended up going home during free periods to save myself the aggro of getting in trouble again.

Unfortunatly some schools will take the side of the bully because according to some I was 'asking for it' even though I'd never said anything to these girls or given them any reason to pick on me. Nothing was ever done about them, they were never suspended or expelled. Rarely taken in for disaplinaries and were often told to just "not do it again".

Personally I don't put up with situations like this and think that you should go as far up as you possibly can about it. If your little one ends up in the same secondary school later on with him, it'll only get worse as they get into their teens.

Totally agree I said this a few posts back,this childs needs are not been addressed appropriately and he needs accessing by someone from education psychology and quickly before this esculates further,I can't believe the school have allowed this to continue for 2 years

How awful! Schools seem completely inadequate and make things worse - makes me wonder why we bother having them. I really want to home school my daughter now to avoid this kind of thing.

It is so hard being a parent, you want your children to be happy and protected at all times dont you.

My oldest started secondary school this year and for 6 months before I have done nothing but worry .
I needn't have worried as he has loved it from day one and is really thriving, so far there have been no 'bigger boys' hiding in the toilets waiting to flush his head

Oh God, yes you do! I hope your eldest doesn't have to go through anything like that!

Thats exactly what I mean...apologies if I sounded off
this is not meant for Lucky star...this is a add on...

Without going into details, our FS comes from domestic violence, learnt behaviour from menfolk in his family has taught him that when a 'woman/girlfriend' doesn't do 'what you say'....and I mean SAY not ask, you beat them up
As this was a daily routine....take no nonsence son from the 'little woman' chain her to the sink, tell her to get you money etc etc etc., this is how he precepted was the right way.
So respect for any female of any age was completely non exsistant.

As parents we hopefully nurture from the moment they are born, we meet thier needs by feeding/changing bottoms/rock them to sleep/pick them up and so on.
A baby that is parented correctly will mirror how we act, we laugh,smile talk etc a baby will gurgle,giggle and babble
A child that has not had parenting skills will become sometimes emotionless, introvert, except no responsiblity, have no respect,will not understand feelings...
If this boy who is 6 is not sort professional help he will grow into a teenager with all these ways.....I have teenagers as old as 17 and all we can do is damage limitation with them.....because the damage has been done.

The anger should be towards the school and grandparents IMO as they are the adults in this situation.
I agree that as a parent we will protect our child, who wouldn't god forbid we wouldn't allow our child/children to suffer at the hands of a bully, but the adults in the 6 year old's life need to step up to the plate too IMO.

I would be interested to know whether the grandparents of this child are the parents of the Father....as he seems to have walked away from responsiblity
I would also be interested to know whether this child ever had proper counselling when his Mommy died and his Daddy went away I think his problems regardless to being with grandparents, may will stem from this part of his life...thats just IMO

I'm not sure which grandmother is the mother of the father but tbh, I woujld have thought that his maternal grandmother would have wanted him on the basis that he is all that is left (for want of a better term) of her daughter.

I agree that the bully needs help but I don't think he's getting it. I know there may well be procedures in place I know nothing of and there will be a lot the school can't tell me because of data protection. In fact, I doubt they should have told me he'd lost his Mom. Although I think they did that in the hope that I'd just back off and leave things - which I did for a time.

But I do have a right to know what measures they have or are going to put in place to keep Oscar safe. If it means an extra member of staff on playground duty every breaktime to ensure he doesn't approach Oscar (they have different groups of friends - there doesn't NEED to be any contact), then so be it. If it means moving the bully to another class, team, group then they should do it.

The do have anti-bullying policy which isn't being adhered to. I'd trawled over it and looked at it from a legal point of view but it's very ambiguous - no doubt so that when someone like me says "Well it says this" they can make excuses and ignore or disregard it.

My aim at the moment is to keep this boy permanently away from Oscar. If it means action as drastic as getting him chucked out, then I'll do it. If it means forcing the school to sit up and take note, then I'll do it. If it means going to the Education Dept, Ofsted, (teaching staff and governors are a waste of time IME) then I'll do it. If it were a different Dept of the local authority I'd be screaming maladministration to them (I may suggest that to them - it'll be good to see them squirm). If it means making it public knowledge (I don't mean names and addresses but the situaton itself), then I'll do it.

I've had nothing back from the school yet as to what they're going to do. Tomorrow it will be a week since it happened. Isn't this long enough to at least get some sort of decent reponse out of them?

The school should definately have replied to you within the week and indeed have some sort of answer to discuss with you.It really does sound as if the school could do with a boot up the bum here.....

here is an excellent site that might help in terms of how to approach a formal complaint....

http://www.bullying.co.uk/index.php/...he-school.html

Hi,

Well this morning was a complete fiasco. Oscar knows how to tell the time and is aware that at about 0820am we leave the hosue for school. This morning he wouldn't go. He ended up sobbing his heart out because he was afraid to go to school.

Now Oscar loves being at school. He loves his teachers to bits and has a good time mostly with his friends. Eventually he told me he didn't want to got o school in teh daytime (which tells me somethign else has happened between him and the bully) and he didn't want to play football (he plays every Wednesday after school).

So I eventually got him to school at 0925am - almost an hour late (they have to be there at 0835am). He has his kit with him for football but I've told him that if he still doesn't wan tto play after school, his teacher can call me and I'll pick him up.

I've still not had any decent reponse from the school as to what they intend to do about it. I've sent another e-mail (and have printed off a hard copy as a formal written complaint) which also states there is to be NO contact between Oscar and the bully. If anyone should stop playing football, it shouldn't be Oscar.
I've also mentioned (as I have in previous correspondence) that Oscar is owed a duty of care whilst onthe school premises adn that duty is consistently being breached. I've asked for them to tell me why. No dount they won't because they can't answer that one without dropping themselves right in the fertilizer. But I thought I'd ask anyway.

I've also contacted the football coaches to let them know that this boy is not to go anywhere near Oscar. So in a nutshell, if the bully is allowed to play football, he'll end up stuck in goal.

Something else I thought about last night too - the bully gets sent home from school when he hurts other children. So why isn't he sent home when it's Oscar? OK so it would mean he'd be sent home almost every day. But why is it different for Oscar?

Laura xx

because he's been labeled as trouble like my grandson was . he had to start school at 4 years old and got into trouble at school for trying to strangle an older 7 year old girl .
Many weeks later after being pulled out and made to stand by the wall and a visit by a dietition to his home and being labeled as a bully ,it was found out that the 7 year old girl and her friends were the bullies and had been kicking the new boys between their legs .
The strangling was infact Josh trying to push away a girl twice as big as him, who was repeatingly kicking him between his legs so hard he kept falling to the floor .
His mum tried to tell the teachers what had happened but wasn't believed ( she was 20 young teenage mother etc )
Then the girls bullied a teachers assistant boy and it was stopped and the girls told off . Did Josh get an apology or his mother, no of course not .
When there's any fighting in the school playground who get blamed first, Josh
I've waited in the playground after school to see a fight break out and Josh's name has been called out ,only for Josh to be talking to me and no where near the fighting .
His name is now the first name out of the teachers and dinnerladies mouths because he was a bully 4 years ago ( but he wasn't was he !!!!)