Well done you then for being so mature about it and not letting it change your life. I haven't got a materanl bone in my body for a baby unless it has 4 paws and either barks or neighs but I think we should all follow our instincts and the younger you have a child the younger you are when they grow up to continue doing what you want with your life.

Argh sorry girls, only just checked in on this!

Thankyou for the hugs, more than need them right now. Its horrible isnt it I cant think about it too much otherwise I end up in tears. My OH is wonderful and I have confided in him recently about how im feeling. The other side of all this is that when we do have a child it wont be straight forward - he has a huge family history of Asperges and he has ADHD on top of it which he hasnt grown out of and although he manages it well, he does do my head in when he has a particularly bad day of it lol. So I have that to think about too - not that it puts me off, it just means that i need to be prepared for that sort of potential.


God i want one so badly it hurts it wouldnt ruin my life but right now I know that I couldnt give a baby what I want for it, and I know I would regret not waiting untill I had a bit more money behind me and stuff like that!

Urgh i hate this

If i followed my instincts I would have a 4 year old right now

I'm glad it worked for you, but for many it doesn't, including my mother.

Then there is the financial aspect - how many of these youngsters (and I'm talking about the fathers here as well) who reproduce can afford these children? Not many, I'm willing to bet and they usually get the benefits and council house to go along with that child.

I work full time, have done since I left school and I cannot get a council house - been on the list for two years now. I cannot afford to buy but I can afford to rent and pay my own bills without receiving subsidies, yet if I got pregnant I'd shoot up to the top of that list and get a house no problem! And that is fact - my grandfather is a local authority board member.

It's time this country stopped rewarding irresponsible behaviour and life choices, IMO.

I was married at 21 and had my son 9 months after our 1st anniversary when I was 23.

He wasn't planned or unplanned...and we def couldn't afford to have a baby, but then I don't think there is ever a time you could!

I'm now 42, he's 19 and he and I are like best friends, even if he does the teen grunt every now and then.

I can do what I want and so can he, and yet we can do things together.

I think I'd have panicked if I'd gotten to 30 and not had kids if I wanted them as that subject did come up again when I was 31 and boy did I realise I wouldn't have had the strength or time to do it again.

I think you need to do what is right for you........but waiting until your wedding etc is out of the way is a good thing as I'm old fashioned that way

Maybe not, but IMO people should have worked and contributed to the system before talking out. It's not right that so many take, take, take but never contribute even if they can and never really intend to! Makes my blood boil!

Anyway, this is getting in to a whole other debate now, of which I could go on all day about!

And good god, I only have a few years left then?!?! Positively past it!

But just because you have a baby when you can't necessarily afford it doesn't mean you take out of society.
I know we got everything second hand and from car boots etc, plus gifts from friends etc.
....and yes I know it makes your blood boil.....and yes this thread is not the right place for it.

I do agree, when i heard about the whole ' get pregnant get a house ' thing i was disgusted. I dont want to live in a council house, no offence to those that do - but round here the estates that are local to me are horrible and I dont want to bring up a puppy let alone a child in that environment. I do have friends who live there and theyve done a great job but I just cant convince myself to settle for it - and why should i!

Im old fashioned too in the fact that I want to get married and have a morgage before I have a baby. I also need freddie to be in a job that can support me not working for a bit. Though im planning on working in a school once baby is in nursery/school so it wont be an only income forever.

So could I lol. Half of my school year are all take take take and im glad that im one of the once that actually made something with their lives!

I just want to be pregnant and have a baby more than anything ive ever wanted. ho hum

Not everyone does that. And they get child benefit! Where you think that comes from? Us tax payers! Why should people who have never contributed a penny towards benefits and who are fit and healthy and able to produce and raise children (although that's debatable at times!) get all that plus the council house? It is not morally right, but then, this country isn't!