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Location: East Midlands, UK
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,775
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Originally Posted by
Wysiwyg
Forums can be funny places, but I think it's important to always remember that sometimes, people just have a bad day and want to let off steam.
It's easy to make judgements, but then we all do it in some way, or we would not be human. I think it's much better to be kind, to try to be understanding and to then say "by the way, do you think that.." or "have you considered the possibility that..."
Getting someone's back up against the wall, and causing a defensive feeling, never does any good. No animal can learn that way - and we are all animals at the end of the day, ain't we?
Wys
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Good post Wys. I think the trouble with forums though is that us humans are far better at face to face communication, than remotely over the telephone or over the internet. When you are face to face with someone, you might say to them "gosh, do you think you might be being a bit judgemental there?" but in a gentle tone of voice, maybe putting a hand on the person's arm to soften the words? You cannot do any of this body language stuff in writing of course, nor can you put inflection on the written word in the way that you can verbally.
I guess we are the same as our dogs - if they talked to each other on chat sites, or over the telephone, there would be chaos!!
As far as bullying is concerned, I think bullying is a very emotive issue - one man's bullying is another man's dry sense of humour. However, when my daughter was at school being badly bullied, I always remember her head teacher telling me off because I thought she was being a bit wet, and that this was just playground teasing. He told me no, your daughter is very upset by it, so for her, this is bullying. A more robust child would have most likely given the boy a smack in the mouth, and that would have been the end of it. If someone feels they are being bullied by someone else, then that someone else is a bully in the eyes of that person ... if that makes sense!