Here its usually.............. shut up! shut up! shut up!

amist the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO's (BC's)
and yap yap yap yap (JRT)

Pats normally........''Ok!!! Ok!!! OK!!! theres alot of me to go round''....then UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! as Tess nudges him in the B***s

Tess gets men every time not good of your a man

I don't greet Axel. I do the same as you've been advised, though it's not for 5 minutes. He's in the den under the stairs behind dog gate, so we come in and put shopping away or get a drink, then go back and let him out and into garden. He's happy to see us, but we don't 'do' big greetings. I'd love to get him all excited and cuddling, but I have toddlers round sometimes and need him calm for them too, plus good practice for when we have kids.
I don't say bye to him either. I feel really mean compared to all you guys having big excited hugs and kisses!!!

It is a hard habit to break! Tilly is in a den under the stairs too. When I got up this morning I told her stay, she came out a few minutes later & I ignored her, then she ran back in her bed tail wagging at 90mph......... she had heard hub's car pull up She doesn't really make a fuss when I get up because I am a zombie until I've had my first cup of tea

My lot don't jump or make noise when I get in the house unless they know there's someone else there too who doesn't live there. The get let into the living room and if I'm on my own, or if it's just myself and Oscar then the dogs will stand or sit and wait for a fuss.

No problem you may think.. But Jenzi can't contain herself. She wiggles from the ears down even if she's sitting waiting. Then if I'm not quick enough to fuss her, I get the Jenzi "nose nudge" and by God it hurts. Her nose is made of concrete and she shoves it in certain places it really doesn't belong. Men need to defend themselves, preferably with a jock strap!

If I get visitors, they get bombarded by all 3 GSDs and 1 Lurcher at the same time. There is no let up. Both Zane and Yiannis think they have to say hello first and the girls are usually jumping on the boys trying to get to the person in question.

If anyone says they've been to my house and they're not absolutely covered in scratches, they've missed the experience!!

Whenever I go to my mums, Minka zooms to meet me, wiggling her whole body and grinning (seriously, she slightly lift her top lip) and she snuffles and sneezes. I calmly walk to the back garden and stroke her, you cant touch her till shes outside because she pees! We try to ignore her for 5 or so mins till she calms down when people arrive home, then she is ok and doesnt pee, but sometimes I cant help myself!!

I'm one of those meanies that ignore them. It tends to be come in, let them out to pee if they've been in since lunchtime (OH's work hours vary daily so often he's around but the odd day he has afternoon jobs, they'll have been shut in a few hours), let them in, leave them to calm down as I open the day's post/hang up my jacket/etc. then once they're calm they get a little bit of a fuss.
I've not been one to give OTT greetings because my last GSD had seperation anxiety. Also living with my brother and his girlfriend, I a) have to consider them/their visitors so try to encourage calm when people arrive at the house and b) have to counteract the bad habits they teach the dogs Brother's girlfriend seems to yoyo between ignoring the dogs and winding them up by talking to them in an excited voice before she opens the door. Counting down the days to having our own place, the poor doggies won't know what's hit them

I'm glad it's not just me!
Hope you get your new place soon

The dogs are in the kitchen whilst we are out; so we come in (through the back door) say "hello puppies" and leave the door wide open...

I then dump my stuff on the worktop, and scoot through the dog gate that seperates the kitchen from the rest of the house.

The boys hurtle outside, have toilet-time and zoomies; then I can properly greet them!

We have bouncies, kisses, kidney-bean wiggles, stampy-dancing and big cuddles; then I can get on with whatever I want to do without too much trauma!

The reason I don't greet them 'properly' when I get in is that I'd get loved to death... they need a few mins outside zooming first before they are even vaguely calm enough to be greeted!

I say Hello Poppets.
Shamus accompanies me into the house in case I`ve got food then slopes off disappointed when I haven`t, Daisy checks I`m OK then returns to guard the back garden and Raz peers out to see who it is then goes back to his bed.

Silent but bouncy, furiously wagging tale. I usually finish what I'm doing first - carrying shopping upstairs, hang up my coat - just something. then tell him to sit and make a fuss. Don't think I'll ever entirely get a dog without springs though. Got my dad in a very vulnerable spot last time he came over.