hi hun i now how that feels my gdad had a stroke and they just wanted to get him home, he lived with my mum who works all week so i had to go and sit withhim as he was not aloud to do any thing not even make a cup of tea and gdad is a tea pot. so 2 weeks i did this while runing round taking my son to school, paying bills doing the shopping and walking the dogs. In the end he came to my house as it was easier but after 2 weeks of him not doing as he was asked and nearly taking a fall again i could not cope. SS helped big time they found some where for him to go for rest bit and he not come home since they had a full time slot at where he was so he stayed, he is much happier and he comes twice a week to see the family, and we go in to see him as well.

I would get in touch with SS and i am sure they will help hun, tell them you just can't look after her at home full time any more, they might find some where that she can go and maybe stay full time and help you sort it all out they was great for us.

good luck hun thinking of you xx

I know where you are coming from Lynn, when my mother had a massive stroke, Social Services told me she HAD to come home, because she wanted to. They would provide 2 hours care from two carer a day(4 x 30 mins)& then the rest was down to my Dad, who I was looking after as he could not look after himself(falls & memory problems), Social Worked went as far as ordering the special bed she would need to be delivered here. Now all I have is a small 2 bed bungalow, the Social Worker told me that I could make the dining room a bedroom for her. The dining room, that the SSW had never seen, is 8 feet by eight feet & the bed was six foot long & had electrical box that worked the special mattress that is 18 inches on the end of the bed, leaving 6 inches to get round the bed. The hoist needs 4 feet clear all around the bed so could be installed, but not moved ! All this & the OT hadn't even seen the bungalow. The SSW said that she was setting up the care to fail so that they could then place her in a Nursing home as she needed 24/7 nursing care !!

You can imagine my feelings I would have been tied 24/7 to home not able to do anything.

When the OT came to visit her first words were"Well she can't come home as the assess is impossible for a wheelchair without demolishing & rebuilding part of the building. The Dining room was obviously not suitable & the bathroom inaccessible due to it having a non standard door that was too narrow or any wheelchair !!

The result was the OT went back to the hospital & chewed the ear off the SSW regarding her coming home !-never heard from the SSW again & my mother went into a nursing home. As the stroke left her a triplegic(only had the use of one arm, doubly incontinent & unable to feed herself) it was obvious to everyone, but the SSW that could not be looked after @ home.

Have the OT carried out a risk assessment ? if not why not ? is what you need to ask the hospital.

All the Social Services (& sometimes the hospital too)want is the cheapest form of care !

That is a dreadful story, how anyone could expect you to shoulder that burden is beyond belief. Thank goodness the person that came round had the sense to see it was unworkable and could stop things before they were set in motion. Good idea about the risk assessment, never occurred to me at all to throw that at them, have now got ammunition if I get into the same situation.
Hope Lynn and Helena benefit from it!!!