Aaarggghhhh aaarggghh and aaarggghhh again.

As you can probably tell today did not go well.
Mum can walk well enough with the aid of a frame and so she can go home in the next day or so if the x-ray results are ok. She has a stairlift and a bathroom that has been adapted so thats ok then.
The best I can do is get the home help stepped up to every day and they go in and help her to cook to make sure she eats and when she is back on her feet enough we can lower the days again. I told them I would refuse to take her home and this Woman said if she is well enough in our opinion and she wants to go we would send her by ambulance.
So by the time she and the mousey 10 year old OT had done their bit and asked why I couldn't move in I had steam coming out of my ears, and the pair of them nearly had the walking frame wrapped round their necks.
Well they will get her back again and again and again won't they at this rate, so fingers crossed all goes well she picks up and we can all rest a little easier me anyway.
One nice thing my Niece has offered to help one day a week, but I think it should be for her like for me from now on we pay someone to look after her and she does nice things with Mum.

Oh Lynn.........


HUGS - and huge ones at that - for you, sweetie....

I don't know what else to say

x0x0x

is there any possibility you could say to them that if anything, anything at all, happens to her if they do discharge her, then you will be holding them personally responsible!!! Or does it not work like that?

Huge hugs from me too Lynn. Hope things improve and she is feeling better soon. xx

Oh Lynn (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))) hun, I hope your mum feels better real soon xxdk

Awwwww hugs from me too Lynn,hope your mum gets home and all the help she needs too.Good luck hun,xxxxxxxx

I do hope things start to improve once your mum is back home, and you are able to get the help she needs. *Hugs* to you.

Tried that they don't care as long as she can walk with a frame thats ok.
As I pointed out if she ha a frame because she is unsteady without one and not safe with a stick on her own their words not mine, how is she supposed to manage to cook and move pans of boiling water from the cooker to the sink, to strain things off, they couldn't answer that one, only shrug their shoulders. She can't live and get well on microwave meals all the time, so they suggested meals on wheels, which Mum hasn't tried but we have heard they are not too nice, and these Companies that deliver meals to your freezer she has tried them and couldn't eat them.
She is fussy she has always cooked for herself and Dad grew his own veggies she has only just accepted and got use to not having them after 10 years.
So will have to set up home helps today for when she gets home, not sure when but will be soon, and take it from thee we know she will be back in before long and then we may have to consider private respite or long term we will give her this chance but after this it has to stop for her and me in particular.
I am not feeling too great today just exhausted now.
Thanks for all the hugs really need them at the moment.

hi hun i now how that feels my gdad had a stroke and they just wanted to get him home, he lived with my mum who works all week so i had to go and sit withhim as he was not aloud to do any thing not even make a cup of tea and gdad is a tea pot. so 2 weeks i did this while runing round taking my son to school, paying bills doing the shopping and walking the dogs. In the end he came to my house as it was easier but after 2 weeks of him not doing as he was asked and nearly taking a fall again i could not cope. SS helped big time they found some where for him to go for rest bit and he not come home since they had a full time slot at where he was so he stayed, he is much happier and he comes twice a week to see the family, and we go in to see him as well.

I would get in touch with SS and i am sure they will help hun, tell them you just can't look after her at home full time any more, they might find some where that she can go and maybe stay full time and help you sort it all out they was great for us.

good luck hun thinking of you xx

I know where you are coming from Lynn, when my mother had a massive stroke, Social Services told me she HAD to come home, because she wanted to. They would provide 2 hours care from two carer a day(4 x 30 mins)& then the rest was down to my Dad, who I was looking after as he could not look after himself(falls & memory problems), Social Worked went as far as ordering the special bed she would need to be delivered here. Now all I have is a small 2 bed bungalow, the Social Worker told me that I could make the dining room a bedroom for her. The dining room, that the SSW had never seen, is 8 feet by eight feet & the bed was six foot long & had electrical box that worked the special mattress that is 18 inches on the end of the bed, leaving 6 inches to get round the bed. The hoist needs 4 feet clear all around the bed so could be installed, but not moved ! All this & the OT hadn't even seen the bungalow. The SSW said that she was setting up the care to fail so that they could then place her in a Nursing home as she needed 24/7 nursing care !!

You can imagine my feelings I would have been tied 24/7 to home not able to do anything.

When the OT came to visit her first words were"Well she can't come home as the assess is impossible for a wheelchair without demolishing & rebuilding part of the building. The Dining room was obviously not suitable & the bathroom inaccessible due to it having a non standard door that was too narrow or any wheelchair !!

The result was the OT went back to the hospital & chewed the ear off the SSW regarding her coming home !-never heard from the SSW again & my mother went into a nursing home. As the stroke left her a triplegic(only had the use of one arm, doubly incontinent & unable to feed herself) it was obvious to everyone, but the SSW that could not be looked after @ home.

Have the OT carried out a risk assessment ? if not why not ? is what you need to ask the hospital.

All the Social Services (& sometimes the hospital too)want is the cheapest form of care !